A Lady Under Construction

Hello dear One!

Thanks for stopping by. It’s good to see you again!

I want to start by saying that a lot has happened in my personal life since 2025 started and I figured this was as good a time as any to catch you up. On January 20th, while the majority of Americans were rejoicing the changing of the guard on our political scene, I was receiving the news that my momma passed away, unexpectedly. It all happened very quickly. I live out of state and there was no time to get there before she passed.

Now, we all know that death is inevitable. And I have lived long enough to have watched a number of my friends walk through the loss of one– or even both– of their parents. My head knew this would happen one day; but– the thing is? My head apparently never told my heart! For some insanely crazy reason that I can not begin to explain, my heart was completely shocked by the news.

I still haven’t come to terms with it.  I know this will sound absolutely bonkers because we each realize that death is something we will all have to eventually deal with. But for some reason, my heart just keeps screaming, “That’s other peoples’ moms! Not MY mom! My mom can’t die!

And then my head steps back in and says, “Hey– not only can she die, she DID die!”

Even worse?  A hundred times a day, for no particular reason, my head decides to give my heart a reality check! “You ain’t got a momma any more!”, it quips. Each time the haunting words make me struggle to catch my breath. It’s almost like two siblings, living under the same roof, who can’t get along! It’s all been quite odd and has sent me into a bit of an emotional tailspin.

My mom and I had a number of unresolved issues between us. Now? I’m going to have to work through those alone, with the memory that she loved me dearly but the realization that we couldn’t reach restoration in this life time. It’s a bittersweet reality.

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My writing is going to be impacted by the loss. There were already a dozen facets of my life that I’d intentionally placed under construction. I have identified patterns of behavior in my life that don’t line up with who I want to be in this season of life, so I’m cleaning house and doing a considerable amount of remodeling. I’ve been reading, writing, and studying furiously. Change is never easy but not changing is spiritually and emotionally deadly, so I am continuing to push through towards a vision that, although not completely clear yet, promises to be lighter, brighter and more aligned with my purpose.

It’s a new arena for me. I’ve never really been one to enjoy change. In the past, I’ve tended to cling to the old, comfortable, ill-fitted situations where I knew what to expect and what was expected of me rather than forging ahead into scary, new territory. But that was the old me. New me is still uncomfortable, but she has determined that she will press forward anyway.

I will make some wrong turns along the way, I suppose. But I won’t beat myself up about that. I have promised myself that I will embrace every aspect of the journey with the understanding that it takes both the ‘good’ and the ‘not so good’, the ‘gentle’ and the ‘harsh’ to propel us where we need to be. After all, a diamond isn’t forged in gentle waters.

I hope you will stick around and cheer for me as I break down the fears, insecurities and challenges which have been stumbling blocks in the past. I would certainly appreciate having cheerleaders as I push onward towards the finish line of life. For my part, I promise that I will continue to show up here— in spite of all my flaws and short comings— offering encouragement and hope to everyone who’s path I cross.

Until Next Time,

A New Season

Dear friend,

Fall is upon us.  This morning, as I sit from my office spot, coffee in hand, and look out over the garden, I am in awe of the beauty of the world around me. Green, gold, and crimson leaves flutter through the air and litter the yard. A family of squirrels has been busy gathering nuts while our dog Pearl goes crazy from their intrusion. My beloved hummingbird friends are visiting the feeders for the final time as they begin their journey south. One of them hovered at the window for a few seconds, as if thanking me for my generosity before bidding me farewell. Yes, I have been enjoying my days; relishing in the excitement of the changes that are coming!

Then it hit me. There were so many years in my life when I could not enjoy Fall. Though the changing colors were stunning— I was simply too wrapped up in the dread of winter to enjoy what Fall had to offer. I had to force myself to take a deep breath and then, slowly release it. Ah! That was the old me; the way I used to think— and that me is gone! Like the baby caterpillar I have talked so much about, I am changing; growing; becoming…

What a relief there is to be able to see a new season of life arrive and be joyous about it instead of fearful! Goodness, it’s taken me a lifetime to get here! Oh my Friend, I want to share the feeling; I long for others to experience it, too— but the words elude me.

The seasons aren’t the only things that are changing! This year, instead of watching it all unfold as a spectator, I am choosing to join in and make a number of changes myself! My beloved BuiltToBeAButterfly site will be among the many things in my life to receive an update. Old material is being removed; new posts, sharing fresh perspectives, will eventually be added to replace them. It is time to also consider bringing BuiltToBeAButterfly  back to social media, too, I guess— though I’ve been avoiding that as long as I can.  🙂  Keep your eyes posted!

So many of you have emailed me with kind remarks and sweet notes this past year or two. I can’t tell you how much your words have strengthened me! Courage in the face of tremendous change is not my strong suit! But your snippets of encouragement have kept me motivated to finish the good work God put me here to do. I am really excited to see what He has planned for this new—and very different—season of life.

And next—drum roll please— I am thrilled to announce that my two most recent projects—the book Lessons From My Garden, and a 30-day coordinating study guide which parallels the book, are currently in the final stages of development. I know—I told y’all that I was working on this set several years back. But, life happened and time sort of slipped away from me. All that procrastinating is behind now, though! They should both be available on Amazon in the next four to six weeks! Woo-Hoo! 

Of course, life is more fun when we can share it with friends! Please make sure you share this site, and like and follow us once we return to social media. Meanwhile, I will post updates here! Keep me in your prayers! There is still a lot of hard work to be done before I can inch across the finish line!

Until Next Time!

 

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