Tag: #lifeofpurpose

A Lady Under Construction

Posted on by mrsmonarch

Hello dear One!

Thanks for stopping by. It’s good to see you again!

I want to start by saying that a lot has happened in my personal life since 2025 started and I figured this was as good a time as any to catch you up. On January 20th, while the majority of Americans were rejoicing the changing of the guard on our political scene, I was receiving the news that my momma passed away, unexpectedly. It all happened very quickly. I live out of state and there was no time to get there before she passed.

Now, we all know that death is inevitable. And I have lived long enough to have watched a number of my friends walk through the loss of one– or even both– of their parents. My head knew this would happen one day; but– the thing is? My head apparently never told my heart! For some insanely crazy reason that I can not begin to explain, my heart was completely shocked by the news.

I still haven’t come to terms with it.  I know this will sound absolutely bonkers because we each realize that death is something we will all have to eventually deal with. But for some reason, my heart just keeps screaming, “That’s other peoples’ moms! Not MY mom! My mom can’t die!”

And then my head steps back in and says, “Hey– not only can she die, she DID die!”

Even worse?  A hundred times a day, for no particular reason, my head decides to give my heart a reality check! “You ain’t got a momma any more!”, it quips. Each time the haunting words make me struggle to catch my breath. It’s almost like two siblings, living under the same roof, who can’t get along! It’s all been quite odd and has sent me into a bit of an emotional tailspin.

My mom and I had a number of unresolved issues between us. Now? I’m going to have to work through those alone, with the memory that she loved me dearly but the realization that we couldn’t reach restoration in this life time. It’s a bittersweet reality.

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My writing is going to be impacted by the loss. There were already a dozen facets of my life that I’d intentionally placed under construction. I have identified patterns of behavior in my life that don’t line up with who I want to be in this season of life, so I’m cleaning house and doing a considerable amount of remodeling. I’ve been reading, writing, and studying furiously. Change is never easy but not changing is spiritually and emotionally deadly, so I am continuing to push through towards a vision that, although not completely clear yet, promises to be lighter, brighter and more aligned with my purpose.

It’s a new arena for me. I’ve never really been one to enjoy change. In the past, I’ve tended to cling to the old, comfortable, ill-fitted situations where I knew what to expect and what was expected of me rather than forging ahead into scary, new territory. But that was the old me. New me is still uncomfortable, but she has determined that she will press forward anyway.

I will make some wrong turns along the way, I suppose. But I won’t beat myself up about that. I have promised myself that I will embrace every aspect of the journey with the understanding that it takes both the ‘good’ and the ‘not so good’, the ‘gentle’ and the ‘harsh’ to propel us where we need to be. After all, a diamond isn’t forged in gentle waters.

I hope you will stick around and cheer for me as I break down the fears, insecurities and challenges which have been stumbling blocks in the past. I would certainly appreciate having cheerleaders as I push onward towards the finish line of life. For my part, I promise that I will continue to show up here— in spite of all my flaws and short comings— offering encouragement and hope to everyone who’s path I cross.

Until Next Time,

A Life Well Lived

Posted on by mrsmonarch

Today as I was having my morning coffee and watching the squirrels rob my bird feeders, I was startled by a loud “Thud” at my sliding glass doors. I looked out the door and was grieved to see this beautiful young cardinal flopping around on the patio below. 

Birds have hit the glass before. Usually, they sit –stunned— for a few seconds, gather their composure, and fly away unscathed. But … not this time. This sweet little girl had clearly hit too hard… too fast… or in a way which did damage beyond what my eyes could visibly see.

I ran outside, gently scooped her up and tried to assess the damage. Her little body went limp in my hands. She was still breathing but there was absolutely nothing I could do to “fix” her. So, I did the only thing I could think to do. I sat down on the steps of the patio and gently ran my fingers across her soft feathers while I told her how beautiful she was.

I kept hoping that the situation wasn’t as dire as it seemed—- that she’d ‘wake up’, gather her strength and flutter away, the way I’d seen so many other birds do. But that didn’t happen this time. After a few minutes, she sighed her last breath and was gone.

Her body was warm; a stark difference from the frigid morning air which surrounded us. I continued to hold her for a few minutes, stroking her feathers and appreciating the intricate details of her body. She had been strong enough to live and fly during a Missouri winter. Yet looking at her lifeless little body, it was clear that she was also shockingly fragile. One wrong move and her life had been cut short.

So many encouraging analogies have come from my garden. But today, instead of joy, it brought a tinge of sadness. It brought an unwelcome admonition; a reminder of how harsh and fragile life can be. It smacked me in the face — I am mortal. I am limited —both in the days of my life AND in the power I hold. Most things are outside of my control, regardless of how desperately I wish that were different. I can’t fix everything. In fact, I can’t even “fix” most things.

But you know what? In spite of my humanity and all my many short comings, I can choose to remain kind. I can choose to remain empathetic. I can choose to offer a helping hand where it’s needed. I can choose to provide both comfort and kindness where it’s needed. And in spite of how fragile and short life is, those choices can make me— or any of us, for that matter— incredibly powerful!

It might not feel like much during a moment of sadness— but being impactful is my definition of a life well lived. What about you?

 

Until Next Time,