Ah… This is where it all began: “Just” a home-school mom with a limited budget, who wanted a fun science project that would excite her children. Humble beginnings, huh??! (I’ve come to realize most really awesome things start like that.) 🙂
The tiny eggs hatched into hungry caterpillars. Within a few weeks, the little fellas had grown from minuscule to as thick as a man’s thumb. And then? When my children and I awoke one morning, our little caterpillars were gone and all we saw were five chrysalis, dangling from the top of our butterfly cage.
Over the next few weeks, we observed those motionless little pods, with hopeful assurance that in due time, they would each emerge as the beautiful butterflies— just as the science magazine they had been ordered from had promised.
It’s hard to believe that blog post was first published over five YEARS ago! I want to ask “Where did the time go??!” But then, doesn’t that make me sound… old??!! LOL.
Time has marched forward with what feels like break-neck speed. It seems like I blinked… and everything has changed! Whew! The fact is… the five wonderfully curious little children I wrote about in the post linked above are all grown up now. Two are military men; both who have been serving in places outside the U.S., under circumstances which have pained my mother’s heart. My daughters have finished college and married.
My “nest” is empty now and my time is more my own. In my last post, I explained that I have been praying about where my time and energy should be spent now— particularly in regards to the BuiltToBeAButterfly website and ministry. I also shared with y’all then that I was working on a manuscript and that I would be taking a little time off from writing here while I was working on the project.
Well…. the manuscript is finally finished and it is currently in the proof and editing phases! I’ll let you know more as the details become clear.
I’m still uncertain about what the future holds for this website. Its creation was a huge leap of faith for me—-a real s-t-r-e-t-c-h for me and my (very) limited technical skills! It has also been a real time consumer— mostly because I have had to learn as I go (and I’m a very slow learner!) haha! And then there is the expense of maintaining a website and all that involves. I probably would have given up long ago, but so many of you have been kind enough to say that it’s blessed you over the years. It has made it hard to consider letting it go by the way side.
So for now? I’m still considering this a “Pause”; the proverbial semicolon that will be a place holder until I hear clearly what direction to take. Until then, I will still be popping in here occasionally to keep in touch. I would absolutely appreciate your prayers in the next few months as I explore this next season of writing and investigate which doors of opportunity I should walk through (and which ones I should let slam shut! LOL) 😉
As always, I will keep you guys posted! I appreciate you so very much!
I’d like to introduce you to Polly—- She’s my peace lily. She is currently living in our guest house, comfortably positioned in front of a 1930’s window, overlooking the porch. She absolutely LOVES it here and her shiny, deep green leaves and new growth are testimony to that.
She’s always been such an “easy keeper”; able to live in low light conditions without much of a fuss. All she required was a cup of water a couple of times a week and a few minutes of my time each month where I would wipe the dust from her luscious leaves and cut away any old, withering growth. On occasion, she would thank me with the most unique white blooms that would jettison out of her foliage.
But last summer, we sold our house and made a radical move. I left her with one of my grown children—-just until we got settled in. I promised I would be back for her then.
The days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned into a few months. It’s not uncommon for life to happen like that. But for Polly, the time was unbearable. She had not just lost her favorite spot on our bathroom counter… she had lost the steady dependability of someone noticing the “little things” in her behavior. My daughter meant well, but she was taking a full college load of classes and holding down a full time job, so she didn’t have time to notice that Polly’s leaves were drooping and turning yellow.
By the time I settled in and came back for my plants, Polly was almost unrecognizable. Most of her foliage was brown and crusty, and what wasn’t dead was certainly in need of life support. I brought her to the new place and immediately cut away all the dead and dying leaves. There was more cut away than I was able to leave. Then I watered her and watched with deep sadness as every drop was swallowed up by the desperately thirsty soil. I really don’t know how long it had been since she had received a good soaking that had quenched her roots.
I took a step back and looked at her. She kind of looked like a shy six year old who had given herself a hair cut. It was bad. I mean…. really, really, really bad. She looked pitiful. Almost un-salvageable. I really wasn’t completely sure I could save her. But… I was certainly willing to try.
I found her a special place, on a tiny dresser, parked between two stately Queen Anne chairs in the living room of our guest house. She had a window view that overlooked the porch and back yard. I watched her intently, and at the first indication of her leaves drooping, I would water her generously. I even went so far as to take the strands of hair from my hair brush and gently tuck them in to the soil around her roots. (This might sound gross but it adds nutrients to the soil.) I rotated her pot occasionally so that each of her leaves received the benefit of sunlight.
I waited. And waited. And…. I waited some more. You see, trauma care is like that. It requires “patient enduring”. It requires an understanding of what she needs to be healthy. In Polly’s case, it was just frequent and adequate watering, and a comfy indoor spot where she could get a little bit of sunlight. She just needed me to offer faithful, tender care —even when it appeared that nothing was happening.
It took several months, but Polly has recuperated and is almost back to her old self. I’m confident that it won’t be long before she is once again vibrant enough to send up shooting blooms of gratitude. I’m eagerly— but patiently— awaiting that day.
You know, plants aren’t so different from humans. We need an environment where we can thrive, too. What that environment looks like is going to be a bit different for each of us, but we each need food, water, sunlight. We each need kindness and a little TLC every now and then.
When the balance in our life is “off”, it shows. Our health declines. Our emotional state suffers. Even our most valued relationships can be victimized by how well— or how poorly— we prioritize our time and energy.
If you can see the correlation between yourself and Polly… I want to assure you that Polly is doing well. I also want to encourage you with the reality that you can reach a place where you are healthy and thriving, too! Yes, it takes making some changes. Like in Polly’s case, I had to take the scissors and literally cut away all the dead and dying leaves that were sucking her energy. I had to remove her from an environment where her needs were going unnoticed… and plant her in a place where the things she required for optimal health were offered.
I can’t say what your specific needs are. But I bet you already know what isn’t quite “right”. Like Polly, it might require that you “cut away” some dead weight from your life. If that sentence causes you stress— don’t turn away. Let’s explore a few practical things that you might try.
Maybe your environment is too cluttered? If we’re each honest with ourselves, we probably don’t need MORE space; we most likely just need to purge from the excess we already own. We can usually do a better job of choosing the “best stuff” from all the “good stuff” we surround ourselves with.
I do this by asking myself what I would save if there were a fire. Seriously! If your house were on fire and family and pets were safe, what would be the first things you would try to get out of your home? What ever those things are? Built your decor around them. Be purposeful in your selections. Make your home a place that is filled with things you love; not just a sleeping and eating space that is cluttered with stuff!
Dig out treasured things that make you smile and display them in unique ways. Maybe that means making a shadow box with some of your children’s old toys, shoes or pictures? Maybe it’s using grandma’s quilt as a throw over the couch? Maybe it’s putting cherished photographs under glass on your coffee table. Get creative! But choose things that make your insides happy!
You might need to brighten up your space. It doesn’t cost a lot to clean and paint, yet the results can be SO refreshing! And personally, I believe a few plants always cheer a place up! If you don’t really have a green thumb, you can choose from easy to care for plants that require very little but give an awful lot. New gauze curtains are an easy way to brighten up a room, and throw pillows are a great way to add color and style without breaking the budget.
Maybe your home is in order, but your body is not?! Polly wouldn’t have regained her health with out the proper amounts of light and water—-and neither can we! Get out! Get active. It doesn’t require a gym membership. Start slowly with a walk down the road after dinner. Take your shoes off and let your toes play in the grass. Go ahead and Laugh! But if you take a few minutes to try it, you might just be surprised at how refreshed it makes you feel.
Be purposeful about what goes into your body, too. Make it a point to eat more fruit and veggies and to ditch the junk food. We all know this … we just get busy… and lazy… and try to pretend it doesn’t make that much difference. But it does! Polly would have died if I had substituted wine for water and TV time for sunshine! Please don’t get offended. Just ponder it a bit and see if any of this rings true in your life. If it does… let it motivate you!
Let me leave you with this: Environment matters. We can kid ourselves all we want. We can keep pushing ourselves until we drop. We can keep making excuses. We can keep living in denial. But it’s the truth. If we want to thrive—- we have to take a serious look at our environment and be willing to make some changes. In the end, it has worked for Polly. It is working for ME, and I’m willing to bet that it will work for you, too.
It’s the season of renewal and new births. I get to watch with excitement as new flowers pop up out of the dirt and animals tend to their young.
This morning, I was sitting in the front porch swing enjoying my coffee when I heard the faint but demanding chirps of a hungry brood of baby sparrows above me. Their momma had chosen to make a home for them in a gourd I had hung up a few months back. Their demands brought a smile to my face. It seems “littles” are demanding, no matter what their species!
Within a few minutes, their mother returned with some sort of juicy bug in her beak. She landed on the wisteria vine about 10 feet away and gave me a hard stare. I watched her curiously as she intently studied the distance between herself and her brood. I was in the middle of that equation and it was obvious that she was unsettled by my presence. Of course, I would have gladly moved to have given her more space… But that would have only scared her away. It seemed we were at a stand-still.
The babies continued their peeping. Suddenly, without any notice at all, their momma dove from the vine she was perched upon, landing on the chain of the porch swing— directly above me. I didn’t move a muscle. I even held my breath. She quickly made the short hop from the chain to the opening of their nest, deposited her insect treasure into the mouths of her hungry babies, then turned and flew away. The entire scene lasted maybe 10 seconds.
What it made me think of was….. distractions. You know…. those situations that take our minds off the important tasks we are trying to accomplish. Life is Full of them these days; now more than ever! There are dozens of things vying for our attention. Crying babies. Dirty houses. That stack of bills on the table that you don’t know how you’re going to pay. The kids need shoes. The washing machine is on its last leg. Your mother called last week and made it a point to say that it’s been a while since you have visited. Pressures mount. Stresses increase. Dozens of bells and whistles scream for our attention.
And then my mind shifted back to that little bird. She knew I was there. She instinctively knew that I might be a threat. I could have been a real distraction for her. But she had a job to do! And though she did take a minute to gather her courage, she made a conscious choice to go forward and accomplish it. I watched her closely and I saw the moment when she resolved the conflict and made a choice. I saw the resolute look in her eyes. Rather than sit back and allow fear and doubt to distract her, she determined to press forward to fulfill her duties. And she did!
As I ponder that, I feel inspired. I mean, seriously. If a tiny little sparrow can make a choice to persevere— in spite of fear and potential danger— and choose to not allow those feelings to be a distraction to her mission…. can’t I??? Can’t we all?? It’s certainly worth striving for!
So, I’ve decided that each evening, I will choose a “mission statement” for the next day. It might be something really simple. (Note to self: I will not strangle my kids today. *smile*) Or, it might be something much more difficult to pull off. (Like, Tomorrow, I’m finally going to clean out that hall closet!) But what ever the goal, I will write it down. It may be dealt with “here a little, there a little” through out my busy day, but having my goal written down on paper will help me remain focused on the finish line instead of on the distractions I encounter along the way.
This way, at the end of the day, perhaps I, too, can look back and see that I’ve accomplished the task at hand, without distraction, thanks to a mother sparrow who showed me how.
In life, we each have ups and downs. If I can be honest? Today feels… a little down.
This morning, I went to check on the nest of mockingbird eggs, tucked away in the wisteria vine on my front porch…. only to find it abandoned.
Their momma went to all the effort of scouting a safe place and building a great nest; of lining it with leaves and feathers and depositing her eggs inside. And then for some unknown reason… she just left.
All that work; all that effort and joyous expectation was lost. Her eggs won’t hatch because she hasn’t faithfully endured to the end.
I don’t know all the “whys”. I am not here to judge. All I’m sharing is my observation…
For whatever reason, she wasn’t where she needed to be. And now, her eggs will never hatch. And… I find that reality very, very sad.
Momma, I know our jobs are hard and our hours are long! I know there are days when it looks like we’ve gotten nothing done and we are barely staying afloat. I understand what it’s like to be weary–exhausted to the point of tears. And I realize there are seasons where it looks like we are fighting a loosing battle and aren’t making any difference in this world.
But—- that’s a LIE from the pit of Hades. And this nest stands proof of that! If their momma had diligently tended to her babies, the outcome could have been very, very different.
The Word of God tells us this as well.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
Read between the lines of this verse. God knew we would struggle with weariness. He knew that we would be short-sighted creatures who prefer immediate gratification. He knew we would wonder if we were making an impact. And, He knew we would question how long we would have to wait for our reward! That’s why He gave us this promise; and why He reminds us of the importance of remaining diligent. We can each take comfort in His promise. There IS a reward coming!
So sweet Momma— Cry when you need to. Scream in the shower if you must. Take a walk around the block to freshen your perspective. But remember God’s promises are solid and true. You DO make a difference and your precious babies NEED you! Stand your ground, Momma. In due season, you will reap your reward.
Under normal circumstances, I’m sure I would have seen it. But this day… THIS day was different. THIS day, I was running on far too little sleep; with Far too much emotion. And I was running way too far behind.
The lines in the grocery store were long. Because of the pandemic, the shelves were only half as stocked as they normally would have been. Things that I was accustomed to just throwing in my shopping cart with little thought, simply weren’t there, so every choice I made required thought. Every step I took seemed to require so much effort.
That shopping trip took me twice as long as it should have. And then, to make matters worse, just as I was standing in the checkout lane, the heavens opened up and it started to rain. It wasn’t one of those gentle, calm spring showers either. This was one of those storms that come out of nowhere, and hit with vehement rage. The heavens opened up and poured its fury out. Lightning raced across the sky. The wind whipped around me as the rain slapped me in the face. I tried running to the car, but it was pointless. I was soaked long before I got there.
The drive home was tension-filled. My fingers clasped the steering wheel tightly as gusts of wind made me struggle to keep my car on the road. By the time I made it home, my head ached and I was utterly exhausted.
It was still raining when I pulled into the driveway. I parked and quickly began gathering my groceries— grasping multiple bags in each hand. They were heavier that way, of course, but I justified it by reminding myself that I would make fewer trips. I waited for a break in the rain, then made a mad dash to the side porch.
I had just cleared the second step, when something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I looked. I did a double-take. My mind wanted to scream, but my mouth wouldn’t cooperate. Neither would my legs. My brain kept shouting out commands but my entire body revolted. For a few seconds, nothing worked. Finally, the adrenaline from my worn-out adrenal glands finally started flowing… The jolt pulled me backwards.
There, on my porch, coiled up and rearing its head, was the meanest looking snake that I had ever seen! I ran back to the car and threw my groceries in. I was screaming for someone to fix the situation. But when one of my children came to help, I screamed at her to step back and leave it alone. (Ah. Mom life)
Now let me stop and say that on any normal day, I am truly not afraid of snakes. I believe that they are mostly good and should be left alone to do what they were created to do. But, that said, they obviously weren’t created to coil up on my porch and come between me and my children!
My mind raced back to when we first moved in last summer. A neighbor had stopped to introduce herself, and in that casual conversation, had mentioned that rattlesnakes weren’t uncommon in this area of the south.
Immediately, my mind started piecing the “facts” together. We had never seen rattlesnakes on any of our other properties before. And this one WAS different. It wasn’t the typical black snake or chicken snake that we used to find around our farm and it was Far too large to be a copperhead. My mind raced. A rattlesnake! It HAD to be a rattlesnake! And here it was, curled up at my doorstep, ready to strike! I HAD to move quickly!!
I grabbed a shovel from the garden shed, gathered my courage, and dashed back to the porch. When I got there, the snake was trying to make a break for it! It was HUGE! I couldn’t let such a dangerous, poisonous snake get away!! I HAD to kill it. I HAD to! There just wasn’t ANY other way.
I held the shovel tightly and took a deep breath. I raised my weapon high, and cautiously took a couple of steps towards the snake. It turned and looked at me, its mouth wide open! And that’s when I lunged towards it, bringing the shovel down hard, just behind its head.
Its jaws opened wide and it thrashed around. It was much bigger, longer, and stronger than I had expected it would be. I dug the shovel in and twisted, knowing that whatever I did, I couldn’t let up. I was way too close to it now. It was me… or the snake.
Eventually, I won that battle. The danger was neutralized.The snake was dead. The children came out to investigate. Some took pictures. Some poked at it, fascinated that it was still moving even though it didn’t have a head. One decided to look up pictures of poisonous snakes in our new area. And that’s when it happened….
We went through a dozen different pictures and although many were similar, nothing was exactly like the snake I had killed. It took a while but finally, we found it. Sadly? It wasn’t a rattlesnake after all. Google confirmed that it was merely a type of snake that is often mistaken for a rattlesnake. It was huge. It was coiled. It had markings very similar to its poisonous cousin. But it wasn’t what I assumed it was. In my zealous attempt to protect myself and my family, I had killed a snake that was never even a threat to us. It was a case of Mis-Snake-en identity.
Now, I’m going to get lots of emails over this one. Some of you will tell me that snakes are creepy, so my actions were justified. Others will write to chew me out and tell me that I’m a horrible person for killing a snake before I was certain it was dangerous. (Don’t bother. I already feel bad enough.)
But in reality, the snake isn’t even my point. So hear me out. My point is this:
If circumstances had been different, I might not have acted so rashly. I would have investigated a little more before I reacted. If only…. I hadn’t been tired. If only… I hadn’t been rushed. If only…
I hadn’t just spent hours fighting hordes of people in the grocery store in the middle of a pandemic, or driven through a blinding thunderstorm to get home… If only…. I had not allowed my actions to be ruled by fear. If only…
This world can be full of “if only”s, can’t it? Especially now, in the midst of a worldwide pandemic and the looming threat of economic collapse. It’s easy to jump to conclusions; to see Danger lurking and ready to pounce … even when it’s only our own incorrect assessment. There is a lot of Truth in that, isn’t there?? Surely I’m not the only one who can see that.
When we are tired, anxious, and juggling many things, it’s really easy to lose sight of reality. It becomes so easy to let our perception paint the scenario for us. Even if our perception isn’t accurate.
So this particular story was long, and I apologize for that. But this experience taught me something and I want to share it with you: Take care of yourself. Rest. Get some sleep. Do little things–every day–that refresh your mind and nurture your spirit. Especially now… in this season of uncertainty and chaos. Be slow to speak. And quick to love. And always, ALWAYS think before you act rashly in a rush of emotion. You just might spare yourself a case of Mis-Snake-en Identity!
Ah… This is where it all began: “Just” a home-school mom with a limited budget, who wanted a fun science project that would excite her children. Humble beginnings, huh??! (I’ve come to realize most really awesome things start like that.) 🙂 
It’s the season of renewal and new births. I get to watch with excitement as new flowers pop up out of the dirt and animals tend to their young.
Under normal circumstances, I’m sure I would have seen it. But this day… THIS day was different. THIS day, I was running on far too little sleep; with Far too much emotion. And I was running way too far behind.