Ah… This is where it all began: “Just” a home-school mom with a limited budget, who wanted a fun science project that would excite her children. Humble beginnings, huh??! (I’ve come to realize most really awesome things start like that.) 🙂
The tiny eggs hatched into hungry caterpillars. Within a few weeks, the little fellas had grown from minuscule to as thick as a man’s thumb. And then? When my children and I awoke one morning, our little caterpillars were gone and all we saw were five chrysalis, dangling from the top of our butterfly cage.
Over the next few weeks, we observed those motionless little pods, with hopeful assurance that in due time, they would each emerge as the beautiful butterflies— just as the science magazine they had been ordered from had promised.
It’s hard to believe that blog post was first published over five YEARS ago! I want to ask “Where did the time go??!” But then, doesn’t that make me sound… old??!! LOL.
Time has marched forward with what feels like break-neck speed. It seems like I blinked… and everything has changed! Whew! The fact is… the five wonderfully curious little children I wrote about in the post linked above are all grown up now. Two are military men; both who have been serving in places outside the U.S., under circumstances which have pained my mother’s heart. My daughters have finished college and married.
My “nest” is empty now and my time is more my own. In my last post, I explained that I have been praying about where my time and energy should be spent now— particularly in regards to the BuiltToBeAButterfly website and ministry. I also shared with y’all then that I was working on a manuscript and that I would be taking a little time off from writing here while I was working on the project.
Well…. the manuscript is finally finished and it is currently in the proof and editing phases! I’ll let you know more as the details become clear.
I’m still uncertain about what the future holds for this website. Its creation was a huge leap of faith for me—-a real s-t-r-e-t-c-h for me and my (very) limited technical skills! It has also been a real time consumer— mostly because I have had to learn as I go (and I’m a very slow learner!) haha! And then there is the expense of maintaining a website and all that involves. I probably would have given up long ago, but so many of you have been kind enough to say that it’s blessed you over the years. It has made it hard to consider letting it go by the way side.
So for now? I’m still considering this a “Pause”; the proverbial semicolon that will be a place holder until I hear clearly what direction to take. Until then, I will still be popping in here occasionally to keep in touch. I would absolutely appreciate your prayers in the next few months as I explore this next season of writing and investigate which doors of opportunity I should walk through (and which ones I should let slam shut! LOL) 😉
As always, I will keep you guys posted! I appreciate you so very much!
In life, we each have ups and downs. If I can be honest? Today feels… a little down.
This morning, I went to check on the nest of mockingbird eggs, tucked away in the wisteria vine on my front porch…. only to find it abandoned.
Their momma went to all the effort of scouting a safe place and building a great nest; of lining it with leaves and feathers and depositing her eggs inside. And then for some unknown reason… she just left.
All that work; all that effort and joyous expectation was lost. Her eggs won’t hatch because she hasn’t faithfully endured to the end.
I don’t know all the “whys”. I am not here to judge. All I’m sharing is my observation…
For whatever reason, she wasn’t where she needed to be. And now, her eggs will never hatch. And… I find that reality very, very sad.
Momma, I know our jobs are hard and our hours are long! I know there are days when it looks like we’ve gotten nothing done and we are barely staying afloat. I understand what it’s like to be weary–exhausted to the point of tears. And I realize there are seasons where it looks like we are fighting a loosing battle and aren’t making any difference in this world.
But—- that’s a LIE from the pit of Hades. And this nest stands proof of that! If their momma had diligently tended to her babies, the outcome could have been very, very different.
The Word of God tells us this as well.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
Read between the lines of this verse. God knew we would struggle with weariness. He knew that we would be short-sighted creatures who prefer immediate gratification. He knew we would wonder if we were making an impact. And, He knew we would question how long we would have to wait for our reward! That’s why He gave us this promise; and why He reminds us of the importance of remaining diligent. We can each take comfort in His promise. There IS a reward coming!
So sweet Momma— Cry when you need to. Scream in the shower if you must. Take a walk around the block to freshen your perspective. But remember God’s promises are solid and true. You DO make a difference and your precious babies NEED you! Stand your ground, Momma. In due season, you will reap your reward.
This pandemic has got the world in such a precarious place. Friends and family are separated and the stresses of life have multiplied a hundred fold. The information we receive keeps changing. The powers that be publicly battle for truth supremacy, as the rest of us sit and question what is really going on behind the scenes.
Businesses are closing. Factories have shut down. Many are out of work, yet the bills keep coming. Our current reality is nothing like the carefree, vacation-like days that most of us have fantasized about. Instead, the hours melt into days and the days melt into weeks, with barely enough difference in our activities to distinguish one from another.
No one asked us if we wanted these changes. Or if we were “ready” for them. And even if they had… How on earth could any of us have fully prepared for the radical way our lives have changed??? And yet, this is the stage that our life’s performance is forced to play out on.
As I have sat at home and pondered many things, I’m going to be honest and say that over and over again, I have sighed in relief that “the end of life as we know it” waited until my five children were grown and on their own. In truth, my entire experience as a young mother was tainted by the ominous concern that these things kinds of things would happen while my children were a tender age. It might sound bizarre to many of you that I would have had such fear so many years ago…But perhaps if I open up a bit and reveal some personal things, it will make more sense.
You see, I was raised in a Christian home; one where I played on the floor with my toys as a little girls while my parents entertained friends and ministered to their many needs. Often, their conversations would gravitate to spiritual things, and on many of those occasions, deep philosophical discussions about “the end times” would result.
These conversations were not intended for my ears. But children have a way of soaking up everything they are around, and this was no exception. There was the mention of world chaos; food shortages, sky rocketing crime rates, intrusive government, “spies” who turn you in for the slightest infractions and of course…. the dark and mysterious “man of sin” and his “mark of the beast”.
Panic would grip my insides as my mind raced through all the creative scenarios that a child could envision. I feared being separated from my family. I feared war and being hungry. I feared death and how it would come. But mostly, I feared the unknown— and I feared it with every fiber of my being.
That fear remained part of me for many, many years. Even now, as a grown woman and mature believer, I have to be diligent in taking those thoughts captive, or I could quickly be transported to a dark and desperate prison, held captive by fear in the inner chamber of my mind.
So, with that confession behind me…. let’s go back to my ponderings. My mother’s heart has been quite grateful that my children are now grown and I did not have to face these dark and uncertain times while they were little. Then…. my mind wandered over to guilt — thinking how selfish it was for me to find relief simply because my challenge was behind me. After all, I know so many moms with young children, and I myself am now a grandmother, watching a daughter juggle the pressures of motherhood! The memory of the weight these women carry laid heavily on my heart. These days are so full of uncertainty. The echo of all the “what ifs” I’ve ever asked resonated inside of me. I felt shame wash over me.
I closed my eyes and asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me. I repented of the selfishness; of the presumption that I ever had any control. I repented of the fear that still to this day fights to control me. I repented of the hypocrisy I’ve been guilty of when I have proclaimed “Your Kingdom Come!” yet lived in dread of the birth pains that bring it!
I opened my eyes, looked around and let out a heavy sigh. My face was tear stained. My body ached. My spirit felt…. so… so weary. I had poured myself out in front of my Father’s throne and there was nothing else left in me. I was spent. And that’s just where our Daddy needs us to be before we can hear Him whisper His calming truths.
He brought the story of baby Moses to my mind, and how desperate his mother must have been to have laid her precious baby in a basket and set him in a lake, adrift on the waters. I can’t fathom that kind of desperation. The reality made me recognize that she lived through Dark and perilous times, too!
All sorts of questions flooded my mind. Did her heart leap for joy when she heard he had been found by Pharaoh’s daughter? Did she sigh in relief that he was safe? Or did it rip her heart in two to see a pagan princess and her family cradle her beloved son as their own?! Was her hope restored when she was granted the opportunity to serve as his “wet nurse”? And if it was, did it flee from her again the day little Moses was weaned and she had to send him off to live the life of a prince, who’s upbringing would be contrary to every thing she believed was good and true?
Did she wonder where God was??? Did her mind race with fear as she envisioned every evil that might befall her son without her guiding hand? Did she agonize over how she was going to instill every tenet of her faith in a child that was only going to be with her for 3 or 4 short years?? She HAD to know that wasn’t enough time; that Moses would be too young to remember all the things she wanted to share with him! Who was going to raise him? Who was going to share their people’s history with him? Who was going to teach Moses their ways? Didn’t God Care??
I could envision her pleading, “Please God…. Please! Tell me you CARE! Tell me you notice the chaos swirling around me!! Tell me you really HAVE “got this”! Because, God…. I don’t! I …just….don’t.”
Just the thought of what she must have gone through brought tears back to my eyes. As a mother, I have felt those same emotions—more times than I can count. I found myself in agreement with her—- asking those very questions about so many of my own concerns!
And then, He lifted that dark veil and allowed me to see.
Moses DID turn out okay. Yes…. It took a while. And his momma probably didn’t live long enough to see it all pan out. But the fact that she didn’t live to experience it doesn’t mean God didn’t come through for her. After he was drawn out of the dark waters of the Nile river, Moses lived in the palace of Pharaoh, in absolute luxury, for the next 40 years. Considering that the rest of the Hebrew people were enslaved at that time, It probably wasn’t a bad gig! But even in the midst of all the bad doctrine, and all those false gods—- in the pit of sensual pleasures that certainly woo’d his physical senses, God moved.
He wasn’t slow in bringing it to pass, like we moms might think. He was patient! He was waiting for pieces to come together that Moses’s momma couldn’t have possibly considered. He was waiting for a little girl to become a woman, so that He could bring Moses a helpmate— made especially for him! He was waiting for Israel’s prophesied time in captivity to come to end. He was waiting for Moses to grow from the arrogant adopted son of a pagan Princess to a humble servant of the Most High!
The first season took 40 years. The next took 40 more!! Humans grew weary. Their bodies failed and turned to dust. But GOD never forgot a mother’s fervent prayers, and never veered from His plans. In time, Moses rose to be the man God had created him to be— In spite of it taking 80 years on our human time line. In spite of life looking nothing at all like his mother must have hoped. In spite of his life being full of trials and growing pains—-and all kinds of things his mother would have changed for him had she had the power!
In fact, I’m going to go so far as to say—-God’s perfect plan actually required Moses to walk through every single situation he did in order to bring about the outcome God desired. It required the time. The difficulty. The pruning of arrogance. The separation from family. The decades of back-breaking sweaty and humbling work as a shepherd in the wilderness. ALL OF IT— every single piece— was used in molding the man God intended Moses to become. Not one experience was wasted— even the ones brought about by Moses’s own screw ups!
It is comforting to me to remember that the God his mother worshiped is still very much alive; very much in control; very much still involved in the affairs of men. He can—and does— use every situation, every mistake, every pitfall, every world event— to bring about His purpose for us and humanity. When I see it from that perspective, the grip of fear is broken and I am released. Set free. I am no longer a prisoner of fear— chained by doubt and dread.
I still don’t know what tomorrow holds—- and that’s probably a good thing, because I was not created to bear its weight! I was created to live today to its fullest, giving honor and glory to the Almighty God I serve. And frankly, that is a LOT easier to do when I look back through time and see His track record of faithfulness in the life of a mom and her baby named Moses!
Have you ever spent time with a group of 1st graders? Have you ever had the opportunity to sit with them and ask them that age old question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” If you haven’t, you need to try it. It is actually a glorious way to spend a few hours. The promise and enthusiasm they release as they allow their little minds to ponder the possibilities fills the air with promise.
Children have such high hopes and aspirations. At that tender age, they haven’t been reigned in by the fear of failure or stereotypes, so you get all sorts of interesting answers. Some want to be policemen; others astronauts. There are those who long to be ballerinas and princesses and those who want to be veterinarians or video game programmers. The answers they give vary wildly and seem endless.
But you know what’s interesting? Out of all the times I’ve asked the question, not once has any child ever told me he wants to be a drug addict. Or an alcoholic. Or a prostitute. I’ve never had a child look me in the eyes and tell me that her heart’s desire is to grow up and have an abortion. Or to get involved with the wrong kinds of people and endure a series of abusive, dead-end relationships. Nope. I’ve never once had any of them say they wanted those things. Why? Because nobody wants those kinds of things, do they? And Yet—- for some of us, it happens—doesn’t it?
Life has shown us that in spite all of the initial hope and promise we enter this world with, many of us do not avoid the “pot holes” of life. In fact, some of us don’t just travel the bumpy road of life, we actually get stuck in muck so thick that we can’t escape. Joy turns to heartache and promise to despair. For most of us, that didn’t happen in one solitary choice. The process happens slowly; here a little, there a little– until one day, we wake up and don’t recognize the life we have built.
While not everyone who stumbles upon my blog will agree, I happen to believe that we have been fearfully and wonderfully made; created for a purpose. And I believe one of our most challenging tasks lies in finding and fulfilling that purpose. Believing that we each have purpose means that we each have value, too. Not value attached to what we look like or how much we money we make—-but intrinsic value based on the reality that we have a unique mission to fulfill; one that is ours, and ours alone.
When we get distracted or become too fearful to search for it, we flounder aimlessly through our life, bouncing from crisis to crisis, stuck in survival mode. Burn out and depression are common for those who wind up here. Drugs, alcohol and meaningless relationships are some of the ways we numb the pain and frustration of living a less than purposeful life. But interestingly, not all coping mechanisms are so obviously self destructive. Even seemingly positive qualities like perfectionism and competitiveness can have their root in the struggle to find purpose. Are you wondering why I would say that? Well, think about it. Someone who is confident of their purpose and fully at peace with their place in this world has nothing to prove. However, those who are struggling to find their purpose fight a daily battle—one where their past and the negative voices in their head are constantly building walls to prevent their success.
You might be here; or you might love someone who is. If so, how do we get back on track? How do we live a Purposeful Life? It sounds like a daunting goal, and I will agree that it takes a combination of effort, commitment and plain, old fashioned time to get there. But I would like to share 10 simple steps that I’ve found to be invaluable as I’ve focused on this journey:
1. The most crucial step is giving yourself permission to admit that you’re not where you want to be. That’s really all it takes to turn the ship around. It sounds almost too simple, but you can’t beat what you deny.
2. The next step is to create a Mission Statement. Consider your mission statement to be the summary of everything that is vitally important to you. In business, we call this our “Why”. It’s just 2-3 sentences which define the most important facets of our life—what we would want said about us at our funeral. (smile). The Mission Statement helps you determine where your limited time and energy will be spent. Write it out! Hang it somewhere you will see it several times a day so that you are constantly reminded of your purpose.
3. Next, create a pie chart of how you spend your day. Get real with yourself and admit where you’re really spending your time. Once you see it on paper, it becomes quite convicting. Each of us only gets 24 hours in a day. The bulk of our time should go towards helping us reach the mission statement. Find out where the percentage is out of whack and determine to make some changes. We don’t have time for everything—but we DO have time for the handful of things we consider most important!
4. Recognize that you are valuable. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and the only human on the planet with your unique set of skills and experiences. You have the raw potential to accomplish your mission, and now that you’ve outlined what it is, you will make steps toward it. Each day will bring a new barrage of chaotic opportunities. Take a few minutes to prayerfully sort through them. You can only say “yes” to a few. Choose wisely. Anything you say “yes” to must align with your mission statement.
5. START. That’s what’s next! Stop whining and making excuses. Determine to get up each morning and take a few steps towards your goal. Yes, some days will be more productive than others. That’s okay. But you can’t reach the finish line if you’re not willing to get in the race.
6. Conquer your fear. I know it’s scary and I know failure leaves us feeling defeated. But giving in to fear stunts our growth and voids our opportunities. It can not be allowed to dictate our life. Have fear…..and do it anyway.
7. Don’t wait for perfection. Winston Churchill is credited with saying that “Perfection is the enemy of progress!” I’ll take that a step further and say, It’s also a thief and a destroyer. I used to live by the rule, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right!” But age and wisdom have taught me that “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing….even if I get it wrong!” You see, it’s all about how you train yourself to look at it. Perfectionism stifles our creativity! We hold back and wait, thinking that eventually, we will be able to produce something perfect. Sadly, that never happens because perfection is a farce! Once we realize this, we start to understand that trying and doing it “wrong” is actually still 5 steps ahead of not doing it at all.
8. Live in “the moment of now”. Look at your past as a teacher, not your task master. Don’t deny it–Embrace it! Yes, even the pain; the hurt; the loss; the insecurity. It’s already happened. Don’t waste the experience. Learn the lesson. Even the things that were totally outside our control are valuable because they broaden our sense of compassion and gentleness towards our fellow man. Allow these things to temper you and to fill you with gratitude. You survived it. You are stronger now; richer in understanding; more capable of helping others. If the experience was a huge mistake of your own making, all the better. Now you can mark that direction off your list of possibilities with certainty! It wasn’t for naught. NEVER waste an experience! You paid for them with blood, sweat and tears. They are worth more than gold! But make them work for you, by letting them improve your NOW.
9. Set aside a time each day where you can work on your personal growth. Different seasons of life afford us different levels of flex time but most any of us can find 15-30 minutes a day to read, study or listen to something motivational. For those with very difficult schedules, you might try making your time do “double duty”— where you listen to a motivational TED talk while folding laundry, get a motivational book on CD for your drive to work or you listen to a praise and worship CD while cooking dinner. If you look for a place to fit this in, you will find one. It is the “fertilizer” for positive growth—-And it is a vital part of the process of creating a Purposeful Life!
10. The final thing I want to leave you with today is this… A purposeful life requires gratitude. It’s not always easy to be grateful in the dumpster of life. I realize that. But gratitude is a MIND MUSCLE that must be worked and strengthened. Make it a habit to be thankful. Choose to see the flowers that come because of the rain instead of focusing on the thunderstorm. It’s a daily exercise; something we must work at! But in time, it will become easier to do. Walking in Gratitude will absolutely bring us ever closer to living a Purposeful Life.
Go back and take a long, hard look at the picture I chose for this blog. I took it myself, on a freezing cold January day, just as the sun was setting. The setting may seem dismal to some…but it really spoke to me. It reminded me that our days are numbered and that eventually the time will come when all that remains of us is what we’ve been purposeful about. The setting inspired me to become more committed to living a Purposeful Life. It made me sit down, pencil in hand and write out the end goal I desire for my time here on this earth. I determined that when the sun sets on my life, I want others to say that the world is a better place because I’ve been here; because I showed up; because I was brave enough to keep caring, even when it hurt like Hades! What do you want, dear friends? Now is a pretty great time to start figuring it out.
My Bible is like an old friend. For years, I spent Sabbaths reading a designated portion of scripture which would allow me to cover the Torah, the Prophets and the New Testament over the course of a year. Each year, I would start the cycle all over again, and read through it anew. You might think that would get boring, but it never failed that I would see something that I had some how missed in the years before. (Ah….another reason why it is called “The Living Word”, no doubt!) It was indeed a thorough way to study the complete word of God & I learned a LOT. But this year, I’ve sat that to the side and just prayed a simple prayer, asking YHWH to show me what I needed in that moment. And as always, He is faithful!
This week, my bible fell open at 1 Samuel and I read chapters 1 & 2:1-11. This is the ultimate story of a “Mother’s heart”. And it touched me so deeply that I wanted to share.
It’s the story of Hannah; a childless woman, whom, although deeply loved by her husband, felt that life was void of purpose because she had no children. She earnestly poured her heart out to YHWH, *pleading* with Him to grant her a son.
We know she received her answer in the child she name “Samuel”. And we know through scripture all that he came to be. But that isn’t the point. MY interest in the story comes from what happened AFTER she got what she wanted—-Hannah’s dedication of her longed for child into the service of YHWH’s temple. She knew she would have only a very short while with him before taking him to the temple in Jerusalem and leaving him with Eli, the priest, for good. She understood clearly that from that point forward, she would only see him at the yearly Feasts of Passover and Sukkot (also called the “feast of booths” or “Tabernacles”). Still……she never wavered in her desire for a son OR in her commitment to giving him to YHWH’s service.
Perhaps she DID cry abundant, crocodile tears as she made her way home from that trip to turn him over to the priest. We can not say for certain. But what is recorded in scripture (1 Samuel 2:1-10) is her PRAISING and REJOICING. She is so thankful for the time she had; for being shined upon by YHWH; for being given the blessing of being his mother—-she did not allow herself to wallow in the emotion of anything else. She never once “counted the cost”. Instead, she counted it all JOY.
I am not there yet. I am no Hannah, for sure. But…..I’m STRIVING to become more like her. I desire to be that strong woman of faith who clings to the blessings; who hides herself under the shadow of His wings. The one who calls upon His Name and trusts completely—with out fear or counting the cost. That is truly the foundation I want to build for my children, so that they have what they need to go forth and become everything YHWH created them to be.
To do that, I must trust His process. I must trust in the season of being a caterpillar, where I can visibly observe them branching out and exploring their environment. But I also have to trust the season where they are wrapped in that proverbial “cocoon”, where it is dark and it feels like nothing of value is happening. I have to remind myself not to “poke” that cocoon just to “prove” to myself that all is going as it should. (*please see the very first blog for why that is so important!)
I have to trust that there is just as much happening during that season of darkness; that YHWH still has His mighty hand on their lives and that He is using that time to fine tune them. I have to trust that it is during that season where their individual beauty is being made manifest and they are becoming the unique and colorful creatures He dreamed them to be; fully capable of flight and breathtakingly beautiful.
Dear momma, keep the faith! Keep praying. Keep Praising! When you can’t see the progress and you question the circumstances…… When you can’t understand His reasons…….. just trust His character. Trust that He is working. The day will come when that cocoon breaks open and a completely new and amazing creature will emerge! And at that moment, you will finally be allowed to see that all the waiting was worth it.
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away….. Oh…no. Wait. That was a Different story! Forgive me. My mind wanders these days. 🙂
But, it actually Was “once upon a time”; perhaps 15 or so years ago, when all my little ducklings were still quite young.
A dear friend of mine and I used to go through curriculum magazines together, bending back the pages and marking all the nifty items we longed to add to our homeschooling library. There were so many neat options; we always felt like kids in a candy store. She was always blessing us with educational gifts from these types of places. (I’m guessing all those hours we spent making our wish lists together helped her know exactly what to pick!) Well, this particular time, her eyes landed upon a “butterfly garden” kit where we could send off a coupon for five live caterpillars (one for each child!), and she just knew that was the kit for my kiddos! We could raise them ourselves in a nifty little pop-up cage. When the coupon for the caterpillars came, I filled it out and we all waited with child like excitement for our package to arrive.
The day finally came. It had everything we would need. The children were thrilled! There was a caterpillar for each of them, and they spent hours gathered around our kitchen table together, naming & claiming them. It was precious.
One of the great things about this little kit was that the entire process— from caterpillar to chrysalis to butterfly— was to only take about 3 weeks. I figured that was enough time to teach patience with out the lull of tremendous boredom setting in.
We had only had the little buggers a few days when they all got the urge to make themselves a chrysalis. Their process was mind boggling to observe, but it left our nifty little butterfly house void of activity. The children would gather around the table every few hours to see if their babies had turned into butterflies yet. And, every few hours, they would leave the table with their heads hanging down, disappointed that nothing had happened yet. This went on, day after day. The adult in me understood that this stage takes a while. I tried to explain that there was a LOT of activity going on INSIDE that chrysalis, but from the kids’ vantage points, they had traded exciting little caterpillars for “stupid” little tents which did nothing. Boredom set in. Until…..
One morning, my middle child, Collin, who was about 6 at the time, was sitting up on top of the table, intently staring at our butterfly house. He wanted so badly to see them “DO something!” But alas, they were quiet and still. When he went to climb down, he accidentally bumped the cage and when he did, each of the little chrysalis kind of wiggled on the twig it was attached to. He stopped and did a double take. They calmed down. So, he blew on them! And, as his breath hit them, they each Wiggled again! He giggled. It was the giggle of power! (Something only a mother can understand. LOL) And the next thing I knew, he unzipped the cage, and poked one with a pencil. It wasn’t a hard, mean sort of poke. It was simply a gentle prodding, so that it would wiggle. And wiggle it did! Our butterfly garden was no longer boring for him!
From that point on, the first thing he’d do each morning was run to the butterfly house to give his little chrysalis a “good morning poke”! Each morning, it would jerk and wiggle in response to his touch; and each morning the other 4 would just hang there on the little branch, looking as lifeless as could be.
The day finally came. It had only been 3 weeks, but to my impatient brood, it had been an eternity. We awoke that morning to find that all 5 of the little chrysalis were cracked open, and each newly emerged butterfly was clinging to the edge of its own little shriveled up tent, drying its wings with a gentle, steady, flapping motion. Well….. at least 4 of the 5 were. The 5th one, Collin’s little fella, was having a bit of a problem. His little wings were tiny and crinkled. They were spread out to their maximum capacity, but….they weren’t formed properly. Within an hour, all the other little butterflies were gloriously fluttering through our butterfly garden; but Collin’s little guy just sat there on its chrysalis, trying to flap wings that were never going to carry him any where.
I’m not a butterfly specialist. Heck, I’m not even a scientist. But I didn’t need to be either of those things to realize that Collin’s little butterfly was suffering from damage it received while it was hibernating. Even though he never was rough with it, and he was never maliciously trying to hurt it, he DID repeatedly disturb it during a cycle of transformation which was very, very important. And even my young children could see what had happened. He was crushed. He ran to his room, hid his face under a pillow and cried the rest of the afternoon. I was crushed. I had no idea that a tiny little daily poke would create permanent damage. (Why hadn’t I known?? I was the homeschool mom; I’m supposed to know these things! But I didn’t know these things.) 🙁
The other children and I eventually released their healthy butterflies into our vegetable garden behind the house. It was joyous and quite beautiful; for four of them, anyway. But, situations are often different for us mothers. The world around us can taste like cotton candy and some how, we can always detect even a hint of bittersweet.
My heart ached for my little boy. I went back to his room, comforted and hugged him, and suggested ways that we could offer his little friend joyful, pleasant surroundings in spite of the situation. I explained that it would take more work, obviously. He’d need to be willing to continue to make sugar water and change out the flowers in the cage every day, but if he was willing, we could do it! His face brightened and the tears dried up. With renewed hope, he ran out into the yard and gathered a delightful selection of pretty things for his colorful little friend.
And you know what? It worked. We couldn’t change the mistake we had made. We couldn’t offer the butterfly a new, healthy set of wings. But we HAD done what we could; and it DID make a difference. Not just to the butterfly, mind you, but to the BOY as well. My son learned a painful lesson about actions and consequences. But he ALSO learned about mercy and hope. He learned that some times we must MAKE our own joy; we must determine to BUILD what life has not freely given us, for whatever reason. He could have chosen to let that little guy die. After all, it was JUST a butterfly. Or was it??
I believe it was far more than that. I believe it was a “growing opportunity” that was packaged to LOOK like a butterfly….. and it taught us all a little something about life.
Ah… This is where it all began: “Just” a home-school mom with a limited budget, who wanted a fun science project that would excite her children. Humble beginnings, huh??! (I’ve come to realize most really awesome things start like that.) 🙂 
My Bible is like an old friend. For years, I spent Sabbaths reading a designated portion of scripture which would allow me to cover the Torah, the Prophets and the New Testament over the course of a year. Each year, I would start the cycle all over again, and read through it anew. You might think that would get boring, but it never failed that I would see something that I had some how missed in the years before. (Ah….another reason why it is called “The Living Word”, no doubt!) It was indeed a thorough way to study the complete word of God & I learned a LOT. But this year, I’ve sat that to the side and just prayed a simple prayer, asking YHWH to show me what I needed in that moment. And as always, He is faithful!
