This is part two of a five part series entitled “Five Truths I’ve Finally Learned”. If you find this a worthy read, please help me spread the word by sharing it with your friends & family.
If you missed the first post and would like to start there, here’s your link:
Hello again my friends!
Most of us have quirky little “pet phrases” we use in our daily life. Those of you who know me well know one of mine is “growing opportunity”. I use it like this: “Ah yes, it seems I’ve, once again, stumbled onto a growing opportunity!” Then I’ll laugh, shrug my shoulders and flash a half-hearted smile.
I’m not completely sure what that phrase conveys to you… but in total transparency, what I mean when I say that is: “Wow. This is way outside my comfort zone and… it’s probably gonna’ hurt like HADES!”
It’s funny how different something appears when a person pulls back the curtain and shows you their ugly truth isn’t it??! Yet my truth is… I use the phrase. A LOT. And I probably FEEL it even more often than I allow myself to SAY it.
Yes! I am a person who has experienced a LOT of “growing opportunities” in my life time! Some of them are the results of my own mistakes and sins; others are just because I am human, living in a less than perfect world.
While there are multitude of reasons we experience these “growing opportunities”, there is one thing you can pretty much always count on: They are almost always painful— regardless of their cause.
I realize we live in a world were transparency isn’t encouraged. Occasionally, the words that I write might feel … “cringy”. Raw; a little too raw, perhaps. But I don’t see how the Father can be glorified with our spit-shined, squeaky-clean, false bravados. You see, if I present myself as having it all together, not only is that dishonest— but it also cheats my Creator out of the praise He should get for all of the things He has done in my life! After all, every good thing I am is merely a reflection of His Light shining through me! All the yucky stuff y’all don’t like?? Well… that’s the “real me”.
He isn’t glorified in our self-proclaimed perfection. In order for God to get the glory and praise He deserves, we have to be willing to come down off our high horse and get real with each other. That’s why I try to write with honesty— even when it’s personally embarrassing. I want y’all to see who He is and what He has done for me. So, in an attempt to do that, I’m going to divulge Number Four on my countdown of “The Five Things I’ve Finally Learned”. Are you ready? Here it goes!
“A LITTLE DISCOMFORT IS REQUIRED”.
HA!! Yes, I’m laughing. Sorry—not sorry. It’s just that I’m envisioning the look on your face as you read that! Hahahaha. It probably wasn’t the earth shattering revelation you expected, eh? My guess is, no— it was nothing like what you anticipated. Still… it’s a very real truth. And, it’s a truth it took me an embarrassingly long time to discover! Allow me to elaborate…
Let’s be honest. None of us like discomfort, least of all me! But when I step back and take an honest assessment of my life, I have to admit that some of my most valuable life lessons came during a season of significant discomfort. I’ve spent a lot of time pondering why that is. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
As painful as it is to accept—-Growth doesn’t happen when we’re cozy and comfortable. We don’t want to hear that, but deep down inside, we all know it’s true.
Though we all long for ease and comfort, the fruit produced by a comfortable lifestyle doesn’t make us stronger. In fact, comfort tends to make us lazy… and weak! It makes us physically and spiritually complacent. If that’s the case, it’s worth investigating whether or not a lack of comfort could have the opposite effect.
Okay. Maybe I’m the only one, but I have found that it is during those dark, scary, lonely, overwhelmed times when I am suddenly— and painfully— reminded how weak, frail and vulnerable I really am! It is during these times when I have to admit that I don’t have the answers. I don’t have the courage, I don‘t have the strength, the faith or the knowledge to solve my problem. That’s right. It’s during the tough times that I have been humbled.
The plot twist in that is— it is in this place of humbled humanity, where I am reunited with my Creator. That’s hard to admit, because I’d much rather say that I’m strong and faithful ALL the time! But unfortunately, that hasn’t always been the case. It is discomfort which is often the driving force for renewing my prayer life. It’s the catalyst which gets me back into His Word.
As embarrassing as that can be to admit, I think it’s really important to share. I don’t know what life is like for you at the moment. I don’t know the specifics of your trials and heartaches, but I do know that we each encounter challenging times every now and then. I don’t think it’s necessary for us to like difficult times… but I do believe it’s valuable for us to see them as “growing opportunities”.
It has really helped me to see that discomfort often brings with it a chance for me to stretch, grow, and learn. It’s helped breed compassion in me. It’s helped me understand my fellow human a little better. Overall, I can see that it’s made me a better wife, mother, friend… and believer. Now, that doesn’t necessarily make the difficult times any less painful… but it does give those seasons redeeming value! So… call me crazy, but instead of running from them, perhaps we should start calling them “growing opportunities” and embrace them!
There you have it. A little discomfort is necessary; even beneficial. It may not be the gold nugget you were hoping for, but I do hope it helps frame your next journey through the valley of discomfort with a ray of hope.
I have been struggling with a troublesome question the past few months. It’s whirled around in my mind like a harsh winter wind, sneaking around the corner and rustling the dead leaves in a fitful fury.
The burning question is: What IS “success”??? Maybe it seems like an odd sort of question. I mean… success is… ummmm….. it’s…. ummm…
Exactly! You see, the meaning of “success” is an elusive thing; deeply personalized, according to our own unique set of priorities.
“Success” in the corporate world means “climbing the ladder”, from position to position, each increasing one’s responsibility, importance and financial compensation.
“Success” in the business world means finding wildly popular goods or services which will bring the company popularity and financial reward.
“Success” in the educational world equates to fancy pieces of parchment paper with words written in fancy print that declare you an expert in a specific field of study.
“Success” in the worldly sense usually translates to “stuff”. A big house. A new car. Exotic vacations. Stylish clothes. A bank statement with lots of zeros– in the right places, of course. 😉
To a writer like myself, “success” could easily be defined by numbers. “How many books have you sold?” or “How many subscribers do you have?”, a potential supporter might ask. If the numbers meet or exceed their expectations, they would consider me a “success”. Yes, even in a field like mine, “success” all boils down to “the numbers game”.
Occasionally, you will find people who define success in less materialistic ways . Those people will equate success as a happy marriage; a close-knit family; healthy children and grandchildren who are walking in the ways of God.
Each of these different definitions of success is accurate— at least by the world’s standard. The problem is… Believers aren’t supposed to be judging themselves according to the world’s standard! We are supposed to be lining ourselves up with the Word of God!
“Oh, Come on, Ledonna. We already KNOW that!”
To that, I’d say—- “Then why aren’t we living like it!”
Friends, I know that “ouches”! And trust me—I’m preaching to the choir here! I’m struggling with this… and have been for some time now. 🙁
You see, recently, I’ve been trying to determine what success means to ME— mostly because how we define it has a huge bearing on whether or not we experience the peace and deep satisfaction of a job “well done”.
The reality is— there is nothing wrong with corporate success. There is nothing inherently wrong with money in the bank or the nice things it can buy. A formal education can open a lot of exciting doors for a person. And I could make a strong argument for the fact that YHWH WANTS us to each have a strong, vibrant marriage, good health and abundant prodigy; proving that these non-monetary blessings are “successes” in their own right!
But the big question is: How does our Heavenly Father define “success”?? And more importantly— Does OUR plumb line for success measure up to His?!
Joshua 1:8 says, “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”
“Do what the LORD your God commands and follow his teachings. Obey everything written in the Law of Moses. Then you will be a success, no matter what you do or where you go” 1 Kings 2:3
1 Timothy 6:10-12 tells us, “For the love of money is the root of all evil which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of Elohim, flee these things and follow after righteousness, holiness, faith, love, patience and meekness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life whereunto thou are also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.”
“My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man” Proverbs 3:1-4
“What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” Matthew 16:26
It seems pretty clear: Spiritual success is defined as obedience to His precepts. It’s possessing and modeling the fruit of the Spirit which resides in us, granting us the gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
The ultimate spiritual “success” is the attainment of eternal salvation, made possible by the atoning blood of His Son. Everything else in this world pales in comparison to “success” in this area!!!
While transformation of our spiritual life is God’s goal for us, He is still faithful to abundantly provide good things to His children in the physical realm (good health, food, clothing, houses, family, etc.). In fact, He loves to do these things for us! Matthew 6:25-33.
But He also warns us to be prudent because: “Where your treasure is, there also is your heart” Matthew 6:21.
So—-I’ve been asking myself…. “Where is my treasure?” and “Does my idea of success line up with the Father’s??”
Here’s some real transparency for you! I am a writer; and like most writers, I have a dream of publishing a book. To those of you who know me, that’s no big surprise. But humor me a few minutes and take a walk down this little path we’ll call “What If”…
Let’s say that this future book is destined to become a New York Times bestseller, but the publisher won’t agree to publish it with the chapter on salvation intact because she doesn’t agree with my statement that Jesus Christ (Yahshua the Messiah) is the only way into the Kingdom of Heaven.
What if getting my manuscript into the hands of a world renown publisher means that I have to water down my message to the point where its original purpose is lost? If I agreed to that chapter being removed, and the book went on to sell a million copies, and I made enough money to have that condo on the beach I’ve always wanted— would I be “successful”??
Hmmm. The world would say “YES! Of course! A million books is a HUGE amount of success! Your book will help soooo many people! That one chapter being removed won’t even be noticed!” And maybe that book would help a lot of people, even without that particular chapter. I can certainly hope for that. But remember… I’ve invited you to play “What If..” with me…
What if my life’s PURPOSE was to write a book that ministers to the spiritual needs of an unsaved lady named Susan—a mom in her early 30s, living in rural Kansas, who’s struggling with depression and the weighty demands of raising children in the scary times we are living through?
What if — in the big galactic picture—Susan was scheduled to walk through a Goodwill store one day and pick up a 69 cent paperback book on the clearance shelf that’s cover caught her eye, and in that book she would see the glorious, life-altering plan of God clearly laid out before her for the first time in her life?
What if Yahweh’s perfect will for His precious child, Susan, was for her to find salvation through a cast-off paperback book, sitting on the clearance shelf of a local thrift store? That is inside the realm of possibilities. He has certainly worked in grander ways than that!
Now, consider this: What if she walks through that Goodwill store on that faithful day and that book isn’t there? What if that particular life-changing book was never written the way God intended because…. the publisher insisted on excluding the most important chapter and I agreed to that change because I was so eager to attain worldly “success”?
Would I be “successful” then? I mean … I’d be sitting on the balcony of my high-rise condo, clad in my sage green straw hat, clutching my favorite flavored coffee, looking out over the emerald blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico. And friends, that scenario certainly checks a number of boxes on my bucket list, for sure!! But could I consider myself “successful” if it comes to me at the cost of missing my purpose???
It should be no surprise that the Messiah left a warning about such “success” in his words to the Laodicean church found in the book of Revelation (v 3:17). This church was full of people who had money and lots of “stuff”. Yet he told them that they were “wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked” because their “success” came in ways that contradict His truths. Those are sobering words coming from our King!
As I have pondered that warning and its implications in my own life, I have come to understand that if attaining my ideal lifestyle means selling-out—- altering the words the Father gives me so that they will be popular instead of effective— then no!!! That’s not success!
If I have to write in such a way that sin is over-looked or perhaps even glorified— No. I am not successful. If I have to trade the life giving, eternity-altering words of the Living God for fluffy, feel good, best selling ones? Nah—- I’ll pass. Not only would that make me UN-successful, it would make me a total failure in the one area that is more important to me than anything else!
So as I have pondered the question of what success means to me, I have come to the conclusion that I would prefer two people read the uncompromising truth the Father has given me than have a million people purchase a book that misses the mark, defies the law or promotes sin.
But why has getting to that conclusion been so HARD for me???
My bible fell open to Matthew 8:19-20. Scripture is pretty clear. The Messiah—the Son of the Living God—and the very One I am supposed to pattern my life after—lived a life of miracles, yet had no place to lay His head. He was despised by those in “high places”, yet never let that distract Him from His purpose. He was never concerned about “the numbers”. He spoke to that solitary woman by the well just as passionately as He spoke to the crowd of five thousand the day He broke the bread and the fish. (John chapter 4; Mark 6:44)
Dear friends, I am writing today to confess that I’ve really struggled with this. I want to be “successful”— to be considered “good” at what I do; and able to use my God-given talents to provide for the needs of my family!! There’s nothing wrong with that!
But I am equally desperate to say that “It doesn’t matter!! Whether 2 people or 2 million people read this blog— I have been faithful to do what the Almighty has asked of me. The words are HIS— He can do whatever He wants with them!”
I WANT that kind of steadfast dedication! I LONG to be confident that He is using me in WHATEVER way He deems appropriate—without doubt and insecurity sneaking in and toying with me just because I don’t have a long subscription list!
But the enemy is a real pro at knowing how to attack us! He has snuck in to my little world and filled my head with all sorts of lies: Lies like:
“You’re not making any kind of difference here!”
“Nobody reads this stuff!”
“People aren’t interested in spiritual things any more!”,
“If you were actually DOING something for the God’s Kingdom, as you claim, shouldn’t it be OBVIOUS by now?!!”
Yep! This past year, Satan has been busy sowing discontentment, discouragement and even envy into my spirit because I feel I’ve been faithful and yet I’ve not experienced any sort of worldly “success”. The enemy has used these unchecked emotions to taunt me— to the point where I’ve found myself wanting to give up! Have you ever found yourself “there”???
That’s pretty sneaky!
But friends—during this difficult season, the Father has blessed me with a small but powerful inner circle of trusted believers. Occasionally, He prompts them to call or text me with scripture and life giving words of encouragement. This has been like … receiving a cup of cool water in the middle of the desert!!! The words are always just in time…and have been just enough to keep my tank from running empty. If you are one of those dear souls, thank you for being open to the Spirit’s prodding and making the time in your busy day to reach out. Please know that you were used to make a difference— and I am so very grateful for you!!
You see, we have to keep reminding one another that this exhausted, defeated, discouraged, rattled, overwhelmed, terrified, disorganized, brain fog we are struggling with is a crafty spiritual attack perpetrated for one purpose—-TAKING US DOWN!!! And that’s why I write with great passion and painful transparency— because it pains me to see so many WORN OUT saints, feeling like they are trudging through quick sand, without recognizing why!
The truth is— whether Almighty YHWH uses us to win over thousands of souls for His Kingdom… or … whether He chooses to use us in our own homes, quietly ministering to the needs of our immediate family— we are HIS. We’ve been created for a purpose; and bought with a price. We need to get okay with Him using us however He wants!
**I** need to get okay with Him using ME however He wants!
I’m going to end with this: What is success?? It’s getting to the throne of the Almighty God and hearing the words “Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matt 25:23) So my friends— let’s pull ourselves up by the boot strings and strive for that! Any thing else is fluff that will eventually get blown away by the wind!
(Personal Note: ***Dear friends, In the 5 years that I have hosted the BuiltToBeAButterfly website, I have never charged for my material. But there are costs involved in maintaining the site that I can no longer cover without receiving some outside help.
If this website has blessed you at any time in the past several years, please consider making a small donation to help me cover those costs. There’s a PayPal link on the home page that should make that easy. I am also asking you to take a few minutes out of your day to lift me and my family up in your prayers. Those prayers are the “gas in my tank” that keep me going. And when my tank is full, I am better equipped to help fill the tanks of others! Thank you in advance!)
A few of you have been kind enough to check in with me; most asking if there has been some sort of new glitch with the website emailing program. The answer is… no. I’m dealing with the same ol’ frustrating technical issues that have plagued the site for some time… but my lack of posts have had nothing to do with any new issue.
Some friends have envisioned that I’m not writing because I’m on a “grand adventure”. They have apparently assumed I’m soaking up the sun on some beautiful beach, or trekking through quaint little antique shops in obscure little towns.
Boy! I sure wish that were the case! But if I can be totally transparent, the truth is—-it’s just … LIFE. I’m just dealing with life. In recent months, there have been no grand adventures. No tantalizing my tootsies with sandy beaches in exotic places. There have been no shopping sprees or long, afternoon lunches laughing with close friends. While I have been blessed with seasons of those things, I have to “live life” inside the confines of the same restrictions everyone else does.
I have my own share of challenges; responsibilities; commitments; financial and health concerns, etc. I struggle with the implications of the daily news headlines, and occasionally do battle with the oppressive spirit of fear. I have grown children I am concerned about and grandbabies that I don’t get to see often enough. I am in a life-long marriage which is experiencing change; and trapped in a middle aged body that has begun to betray me.
Oh, make no mistake!!! There are abundant blessings in my life!!! And I have worked hard to train myself to always focus on those, with immense gratitude!!! But that doesn’t mean that times don’t get hard; or that I don’t occasionally struggle with anxiety, fear and an over whelmed sort of feeling that shows up out of no where and seems to defy words.
In fact, I was talking with a dear friend the other day and both of us found that we were struggling with some of the same kinds of questions. Things like:
1. “What does the future hold?” and 2. “Should I keep pushing forward in this direction? Or is it time to change gears and start focusing hard on XYZ??” 3. “What’s my purpose in this crazy season of history?” and… 4. “Is any of the effort I’m putting in even worth it any more?! It doesn’t seem like any of it is making a difference. It feels like the world is going to Hades in a hand basket!” 5. And I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t add the question: “Why am I so TIRED all the time??! I’m paddling as fast as I can but I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing anything!”
Maybe you can’t relate. If not, this post probably isn’t for you. But if you’re nodding your head in agreement, ready to admit that these are questions you’re dealing with as well, I promise you that you’re not alone in your feelings.
I’ve spent some significant amount of time on my knees in prayer recently, asking my Heavenly Father for help with these things. Slowly (much slower than I would have liked), I am finding answers to some of these things. Not “solutions” necessarily— but explanations. And that is helping me endure the struggle.
Since we are all human and tend to share the same kinds of struggles, I have decided it’s time to come clean with y’all and a share what the Father is showing me. I hope there’s something here that will encourage you!
First— Spiritual battles are REAL, folks! Tho it may seem like a cliche’—–time, as we understand it— really is short. And there really is a dark and powerful force which is vying for control of this planet and all the inhabitants on it.
Anyone who has made a commitment to walk the path of Righteousness is going to feel that raging battle deep inside their spirit; and it will have an impact on both their physical and mental energy levels! This is nothing new.
I am reminded of the servant Daniel, whom the bible defines as “highly esteemed by God “. He is in a stressful situation and begins to earnestly pray for help. He has mourned and fasted for three full weeks. Eventually, an angelic messenger comes to him and explains that he was dispatched to help at the moment Daniel first began to pray weeks prior, but that “prince of the kingdom of Persia” had fought with him so intently that it required Michael, the arch angel, to come help him.
It’s easy to skim over these verses and loose their significance. But as I read Daniel chapter 10, I was really impressed to pay close attention to what was unfolding. Though we don’t know the name of the angelic messenger who was sent to minister to him, we can say with certainty that he was a pretty impressive and powerful being. (See his description in Daniel 10:5-7)
Yet even this member of YHWH Almighty’s angelic host found himself struggling in a battle with the demonic realm that was so intense, it was preventing him from reaching Daniel. Think about this y’all! An angelic messenger had to call out for help from none other than the powerful chief prince, Michael, himself! And only then was he able to overcome!
Now… we have to stop and ask ourselves— If an angelic being has to ask for help to overcome a demonic stronghold… who do we think we are to enter into battle on our own???!
That got me thinking about a second point. If God isn’t cruel (and He is not!), and if He truly does work all things out for our good and His glory (just as Romans 8:28 tells us), then could it be that the battles we face have some sort of meaningful spiritual purpose???
Do you remember the bible verses about the ten virgins? (Matthew 25) The scriptures say that “half were wise” and took enough oil for their lamps to last through out the night. The other half were “foolish” and did not prepare. They did not have enough oil to get them through the night, so at some point in their nightly watch, these “foolish virgins” found themselves running out of oil. They had to rush out to replenish it, and missed the bridegroom they had been waiting for. 🙁
Obviously, the story is an analogy where the olive oil represents their “faith”, strength or spiritual stamina. But when you consider how the oil in their lamps was made, things get really interesting! You see, in that time, the lamp oil was made by pouring olives into a large press. Then pressure was applied to the press, and the olives were squeezed.
If only a little pressure was applied, only a little oil would have been produced. However… if a LOT of pressure was used, the same number of olives would have produced a significantly larger amount of oil!!! Check out 2 Corinthians 4:8-10, 15 and see if these verses help a light come on for you, as they did for me.
Do you see it?? More “pressure” produces more “oil”! Just like the struggles during our life’s journey produce a maturity that births more faith! What if the purpose of our struggle is to “press” us so that we produce as much “oil” as possible? That truth means we have a reason to call our trials a blessing because they are actually an act of mercy which helps us prepare ourselves for the days ahead. (Note that I didn’t say they would be EASY, PLEASANT or FUN! But merciful just the same!)
The struggle is real, my friends— but we can take some comfort in knowing that there is purpose in our pain. The effort, the exhaustion, the heartache…. whatever it is that is currently a personal stumbling block for you… none of it is for naught. The Father can— and will— use every last bit of it to bring good in your life. It’s just that it isn’t an overnight process, they way we would prefer.
So here’s the third and final point. It comes from 2 Kings 5:1-3, 9-11, and 13-14. It’s the story of Naaman, the commander of the Syrian forces, who just so happened to also be a leper in need of a miraculous healing. (Please take a few minutes to read the entire chapter when you have time, but I want to use the verses above to point out something I had missed before, even though I’ve read the story many times).
Naaman is desperate enough for healing that he makes the journey to see Elisha, a well known prophet in Israel, in hopes that Elisha will touch him and proclaim healing in his body. What he receives, however, is quite different than his expectation.
Not only does Elisha not come out and physically touch Naaman. He doesn’t come out to greet him at ALL! In fact, all Elisha does is send a messenger to him, telling him to go wash himself seven times in the dirty ol’ Jordan river! Now Naaman was a powerful, highly respected man so being treated casually was most definitely an insult!
There are many valuable nuggets in this chapter, but I want to focus on verse 11 where Naaman assesses the situation, quickly becomes angry and says, “(but) I thought…”.
That’s right. “I thought…”
You see, Naaman didn’t just expect to be healed. He also had a preconceived notion of how that healing was going to be performed! When the events didn’t line up with his expectations, he threw an absolute hissy fit!
Have you ever done that?? Have you ever watched a situation pan out— differently than you had hoped or prayed for— and found yourself stomping your feet and shouting, “But I thought….!” ??? I certainly have! (More times than I would like to admit!) 🙁
Well, Naaman was so angry that he got back up on his horse and stormed off! Thankfully for him, one of his servants had the wisdom to help Naaman change his mind and follow the instructions Elisha had given him. You see, it was not Elisha—a mortal man— who would bring Naaman’s healing. It was Naaman letting go of his preconceived expectations that brought his healing! God would work a miracle according to HIS plan—not Naaman’s! And that plan included both Naaman’s obedience and his letting go of the nasty habit of having to have things his way!
I hate to admit this but God has shown me that I act like Naaman sometimes. I pray. I cry out. I beg and plead for various things. But… I also have all these preconceived ideas about how (& when!) God is going to answer those prayers. Just like Naaman, I usually get offended when He doesn’t follow my plan!
I’m coming to realize that sometimes I haven’t made room for God in my plans; so He moves out of the way until I’m ready to get my heart right. (Yes! That’s ouchie!!) When I get out of His way and submit my desires to His perfect will, He starts to move on my behalf— but not one moment before!
So the final lesson He wants me to “get” from this crazy season I’m in is… just let God be God. Let Him do things HIS way, in HIS timing— without my preconceived notions getting in His way! Whew! That’s a LOT for a fallen human like me! But every day, with His grace, I get up and try again. I know you can, too!
I hope there is something in today’s post that strengthens and encourages you, my friends! My parting words to you today come from Galatians 6:9:
Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not!
You are there… When fear grows near… and courage is lost… When hope dangles on puppet strings just out of reach… When determination fails us… and our knees buckle under the weight of this world… YOU are there.
When weariness and dread flood our soul… And our own mind becomes our most deadly enemy… When our allies fail us… But our battle still rages… YOU are there.
When the ache in our bones cripples us… When the enemy’s plans over take us… When all reason and honor forsake us… YOU are there.
When skies turn black and the thunder roars… When the elements pound us and there seems no where to hide… When our heart aches with anguish that our tongue can not speak… YOU are there.
When betrayal comes from those within… And we are bombarded with the cost of our sins… When the enemy taunts us and proclaims he has won… YOU are there.
When all we have done feels for naught… And our eyes grow dim with dispair… When loss seems more familiar than gain… YOU are there.
I’ve been asked to explain how I KNOW this is true… And all I can say is… because I KNOW you! I see you in the sunlight, as the first rays touch the sky. I hear you at the seashore when the seagulls cry… I feel you as a cool breeze rustling through the trees… But I sense you the MOST when I’m down on my knees!
My Creator. My Provider. My Redeemer! My KING! YOU are there!
Tho the cost of following you is far beyond what I first presumed… And I am staggered by the reality that I still have more to pay… Tho my body aches and my soul grows weary… Tho my faith is far weaker than I ever supposed… And my circle grows smaller each day… I have the assurance that you are holding my hand… That your love is faithful… And my future, you command.
I awaken and once again drag myself out of bed… I struggle to find purpose, but often find dread. There are times I have questioned why you have left me here… Among the dead and dying, who have no reverence or fear… But that’s when I realize you are always quite near. My Creator. My Provider. My Redeemer. My King! YOU are there!
When the dreams become nightmares… When the nights are long and morning tarries… You send a friend when I’m lonely. You send direction when I’m lost. YOU are there!
You provide comfort when I am raw and battle weary. When my mouth is parched and my soul is dust… And even when I can not see past the bitterness of today… YOU… My Creator. My Provider. My Redeemer. My King! YOU ARE THERE!
***This poem is deeply personal; taken from my own trials and experiences. I share it with you in hopes that it encourages you to know you are not alone in your struggles. Our Creator is there — standing near; waiting for you to hold out your hand and invite Him to walk along side you. His creation stands as His witness and MY life stands as a testimony.
It was one of those places I always dread going; a large, dirty city– filled with noise, smog and “busy” people scurrying in and out of traffic. It is also the kind of place racial tension hasn’t improved much over the past 50 years; a place where you can feel the intense animosity of its racially charged population just as easily as you can sense the summer heatwaves bouncing off the blacktop roads. It’s a place I avoid like the plague.
But, when one chooses to have a “country life”, one eventually finds a need to travel to the “big city”. Even though it’s more than an hour away, it’s the closest town with a quality hospital. Top rated specialists. Good restaurants. Specialty stores that ensure successful shopping experiences. I had put it off as long as I could. Today was the day. There was no avoiding it.
I had my list in hand and headed out— filled with purpose…. and a great deal of dread. What I hadn’t planned on is what God had planned.
I finished the “to do list” quickly, but found myself with at least an hour to kill so I decided to check out a couple of thrift stores nearby. My mind was cluttered and my heart was heavy. I aimlessly wandered through the isles, perhaps subconsciously hoping to find something to distract me from thinking. It wasn’t working…
I left the last store and headed to my car. The gray clouds finally burst open and the rain began to drizzle down, sending steam up from the blistering parking lot. I was almost to my car when my eyes caught sight of a furniture store with an attractive window display a few shops down from where I was.
I’m not in the market for furniture… so I don’t really even know why I felt compelled to go in. But… half way to my car, I changed my direction and headed for the furniture store. By the time I reached the door, the drizzle had become a down pour. Apparently this was not only going to be a no-good errand day… it was going to be a no-good hair day as well! LOL.
Just as I neared the door, it flung wide open. A tall, broad-shouldered, middle aged black man in a dark suit, greeted me with a smile. “Come on in here and get outta this rain!”, he begged. I stepped inside the entrance way, dripping wet and took a moment to compose myself. I felt like a drowned rat and for a moment, I found myself wishing I’d just run to the car instead.
His welcoming tone settled my spirit. Comforted, my eyes were drawn to dozens of make shift “rooms”, each filled with perfectly arranged furniture groups like you see on the pages of a Southern Living magazine. I wandered from display to display, soaking in the sights, as the salesman and I made casual conversation.
Eventually, we found ourselves at the back of the store, where another employee— a woman of Asian descent who appeared a few years younger than me— eagerly joined our conversation. Her presence brought a more personal touch to the discussion. She mentioned her grown children; the moral decline of our society… and both her concerns… AND her hopes for “tomorrow”. But the real game changer occurred when she mentioned her FAITH.
Oh, its introduction was “slick”–but not in a bad way. It wasn’t pompous or preachy. It was matter-of-fact. Simple but refreshing. Genuine. And her level of candor touched me, deep within my soul. I nodded my head in agreement with all she spoke, but my words got caught in my throat. Suddenly—without any warning at all—my aching heart betrayed me, and I found my eyes welling up with tears.
Without skipping a beat, she turned to grab a tissue from a box behind the counter and placed it in my hand with a gentle yet reassuring squeeze. Now understand… I do many things well; but raw, snot-inducing, heaping, sobbing tears ISN’T one of them! I’ve even been known to dig my fingernails into the palms of my hands to regain my composure and prevent tears. Yet some how, THIS was … different. My embarrassment subsided when I realized that she had pulled a second tissue out to catch her OWN tears.
Our raw humanity proved too much for our male counterpart. When I finally felt confident enough to stop looking at the floor, I caught this broad shouldered, well dressed giant of a man wiping the tears from his face. It isn’t often people talk like this; especially in the workplace— amongst strangers!
And yet— here we were. Three strangers— Of different races—from different backgrounds; living in different cities; worshiping the Living God in vastly different ways—- sharing an intimate and deeply moving experience—together— based on the never changing, steadfast and ever faithful Mighty One we serve! We gave our testimonies. We shared personal concerns. We encouraged one another with scripture, and we committed to pray for one another in the days and weeks ahead.
Who would have thought that a rotten, no-good, miserably rainy day– in a city I deplore– would turn out to be one of the single most encouraging afternoons I’ve been blessed with this year?! Not me… but God knew!
But here’s the thing: I didn’t just get filled with encouragement that day. I got humbled a bit, too. Yahweh used the experience to remind me of a truth I’ve long known. HE USES ALL THINGS FOR OUR BENEFIT AND HIS GLORY. Even no-good, miserably rainy days– in noisy, congested cities, where we don’t want to be. He uses people of every race; every creed; every political mind set and every socioeconomic situation. He uses any one—and every one— who allows Him some room to work in their life!
The man who had opened the door for me that day thought he was “just” a furniture salesman. The lady behind the counter went to work that day assuming she was “just” a finance manager. Ah…. Little did they know, that on that particular day, God would use them as “ministering angels”.
Their willingness to allow His love to flow through them brought light and comfort into my day. And when I am filled up, I come here and write— with the hope of filling others up. So, what they gave me– in the way of encouragement– is still going forth, doing good things; even though they may never realize the fullness of the impact they have had. Ponder that as you think about all the “little” ways we can each make a difference in someone’s day!
It can be easy to discredit the impact we have in our bland, every day world. The enemy wants us to believe we are “just” wives; “just” moms. “Just” grandmothers. “Just” teachers. “Just” salesmen or finance managers; People without power or influence. But, let this story be a reminder that He can work ANYWHERE He has a willing servant.
So dear friends, be encouraged! Just re-commit to serving humanity with genuine kindness— where sharing His love is your ONLY agenda. Then, let Him take care of the rest. In doing this, you, too, can be one of His ministering Angels… Unaware.
The last month has been filled with a flurry of excitement for my family. Our son and daughter-in-love just had their first child, and I’ve been blessed to be able to spend some time snuggling with my precious little grandson. I probably don’t have to even tell you that he’s beautiful. Or that I am absolutely, totally and completely, in LOVE. (smile)
Now that his one month birthday is approaching, and the dust has started to settle, I’ve found myself better able to think back on the whirlwind of events leading up to his birth with tremendous gratitude.
My daughter-in-law had plotted out how she hoped the birth would go, expecting to have a natural labor and delivery experience. I prayed intensely for the Father to allow her body to relax and dilate so that she could achieve that goal. But the hours passed and, although the pain intensified, her cervix was slow to open.
I knew it has been their hope to have several children and I didn’t want those future plans complicated by a c-section birth. So, I prayed more fervently! It was a sincere and selfless prayer, born out of my love for my kids. God pays special attention to those kinds of prayers, right??
But the hours melted away and there was no progress.
An entire 24 hours passed before the doctors finally decided that they would do a cesarean. I was so frustrated that it had come to that! In all transparency, I also need to admit that I was flat out angry! I was angry that God hadn’t answered my prayer— my selfless, desperate plea for my precious daughter-in-law. I guess most of us have had a time in our life when we have questioned God’s answer (or apparent LACK of an answer). This was one of those times for me.
We sat by the phone, eager for news. It wasn’t long before our son called. Our grandson had arrived, and both he and his mom were doing great. Whew! What a sigh of relief!
He was a healthy and very BIG boy. Nine pounds and 10 ounces kind of big—-which turned out to be particularly challenging because my sweet little daughter-in-law is a mere 5’2″ and 120 pounds soaking wet.
And that’s when it hit me.
If my daughter-in-law’s cervix had dilated the way I had prayed for it to… the doctors would have allowed her labor to naturally progress. My grandson would have made his way into the birth canal… only to find himself unable to pass. The entire birth experience could have easily gone from “smooth” and “uncomplicated” to desperate and life threatening very quickly!
My prayers didn’t really go unanswered. The answer was simply—-“NO”. And we don’t LIKE “No”, do we???! Yet, in this situation, “NO” was absolutely the right call.
It didn’t matter that I was frustrated. God didn’t change His mind when He saw me get angry. He didn’t bend to my will. He didn’t let me have things my way. And when the time was right, and all the previously unknown circumstances came to light, it became obvious that HIS way WAS the better way.
And more than that? It became obvious that His “NO” was actually a BLESSING in disguise.
Now I don’t want to sound flippant. I know many of you are struggling with some overwhelmingly painful situations. (I have a few of those in my life, too!) They aren’t all solved as quickly as this. I can not promise that in every situation, the clouds will part and a perfectly beautiful blessing will float down from the heavens like a feather in the wind. In fact, there are often situations that are so painful and complex that we may never truly gain understanding until we cross over into the eternal realm.
BUT…. I CAN tell you THIS: Seeing this situation play out and having to recognize that my prayer, though selfless, was NOT what was best … and seeing the Father over-ride my prayer and do what He knew needed to be done… has been a HUGE faith-builder for me! It has given me the courage I have needed to endure other challenging situations, because now I am better able to trust that He truly IS working all things out for my good and His glory.
As my fingers peck the keyboard, my thoughts are interrupted by grunting noises coming from the bassinet beside me. My precious little grandson is waking up from his mid morning nap. He is swaddled in a soft, white blanket and for a moment, my entire world stops and I find myself making silly, exaggerated faces and ridiculous cooing noises while he squints his little eyes and soaks it all in. I’ve heard others say that being a grandparent is a real joy— but that doesn’t even BEGIN to describe the feeling.
I’m humbled. You see, this moment— and all of those that will follow— are being brought to me on the unlikely platter of Unanswered Prayers. Imagine that!
I’m going to wrap this up now so that I can get back to my grand baby. But before I go, I just need to say—if you are hurting— if you are struggling with anger or doubt regarding God’s timing—it’s okay. He understands. He realizes we are only dust and that we have a limited vantage point. He doesn’t hold those things against us. But He also doesn’t allow our temper tantrums to dictate how He operates in our life! He parents us. He makes the hard calls. He chastises. He forgives. He blesses. But He is always—-ALWAYS— working things out for our benefit and His glory.
I really try to bring a snippet of encouragement … a little ray of joy… into the lives of others through the words I share here in my blog. I make an effort to focus on what is “good” and “right” in the world… even when that is a bit of a struggle because of my personal short comings.
There have been many times when this goal has made me the blunt of people’s jokes; a modern day “Mary Poppins” that some believe is completely blind to the ills of this world. It makes me sigh and shake my head. If only they understood. If only they took the time to really look DEEPER… They might SEE more.
I’ll admit— these days DO look heavy and dark. They ARE filled with apathy; hatred and great evil. It would be easy to fall victim to the anxiousness which seems to be rolling in like a thick fog and covering everything in its path. And yet…
As I look back on the annals of history, I am reminded that these times really aren’t any darker than the ones relegated to the pages of history. There have always been times of great battles. There have been years of plagues. There have been grievous famines and economic failures. The only difference? They occurred in a different time… and… they affected SOME ONE ELSE.
Yes. That ouches. But seriously. Go back and read that again. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS… THEY AFFECTED SOME ONE ELSE.
We really don’t want to go back through the historical accounts of those before us, do we? We don’t WANT to read about struggles, hardships, disease… invasion… starvation… DEATH. We don’t want to read the accounts of those who have faced grave injustice; of those who have suffered horrific crimes against humanity; or of those who have been martyred for their faith. And we don’t want our children to have to hear “negative” stories, either, do we??!! We want to turn a blind eye to the events of the past.
Even those of us who claim to appreciate history don’t really want to read the events as anything more than “stories”. We certainly don’t want to HUMANIZE them and read them with fervor and emotion, for that is too painful. Too scary. Too dark. Too “negative”.
But what if … what if our take on that is wrong?
Bare with me for a minute. Take a deep breath… And let’s look at this topic from a radically different perspective. Can you muster of the courage to at least glance at this from a different vantage point? Please? I want to share something with you that has been on my heart recently and I believe it may help us see the events that are unfolding in a different way.
Yes, the pages of history are stained with blood. They are filled with horrific stories of mayhem; brutality and great sadness. This is true. But those pages are ALSO filled with acts of great courage; of selflessness; of strength and of overcoming!! The pages of history are filled with stories of those who did not lie down and allow the rushing waters of the coming flood to drown them. No, my friends. They SWAM! They FOUGHT! They CHALLENGED! They PERSEVERED! Through great hardship and much suffering, they learned to show mercy; compassion; dare I say they often learned the deeper meaning of LOVE for their fellow human. And they probably also learned the immeasurable value and beauty of life as well.
It was through great hardship that they learned how to rally around one another and protect their livelihoods. It was living in dark times that taught them to help one another. It was in great strife where they fed one another; where they learned the importance of bearing one another’s burdens. It was in dark and perilous times that their strength of character was forged, much like a lump of coal can only become a diamond while being crushed in the belly of the earth.
The character they grew was purified through trials and much hardship. And yet, without this inner strength, they would have never been able to “endure to the end”. They often stood… alone… in the face of tremendous evil… and mustered the courage to cling tenaciously to their faith … even as they faced certain death.
This wasn’t just big, burly men either! There were women, children… elderly. The faith and courage that were cultivated in dark times were enough to strengthen even the weakest, most frail, most fearful of humans. It was in these perilous times of great uncertainty that even children like Anne Frank went on to become the heroes and heroines of our time.
We really need to let that sink in!
It is ironic, yet tremendously encouraging to me that the very things that we whine about living through are the very things that strengthen and prepare us to “endure to the end”!!
My dear friends, through the pages of history, our forefathers are longing to show us that IF we awaken from our slumber— we, too, have strength!!! We, too, have the ability to stand. To help. To fight. We have POWER—- untapped power— but power none the less!
At some point, we were told that one person can’t make a difference—and we believed it— and we allowed our spirits to grow apathetic and indifferent. We have timidly chosen the easy road … and we have done so because it appears “cheaper”. Less costly. And yet… this choice has bankrupted our very souls!
Today, we are at a cross road. We each stand somewhere in the middle of our life’s journey … torn between fear… and glory! Where we end up depends on the steps we take TODAY.
Realizing that, I’m going to be rummaging through my boxes of books again, looking for biographies of men and women of faith. I’m going to be immersing myself in the presence of those who exemplify the character and strength that I long to have. I will be purposefully choosing to feed my spirit the things which I hope manifest in my life.
Then, I’m going to get back to writing the story of my life. It will be a saga filled with great adventure. Oh, it will have some tears and uncertainty for sure. But thanks to the valiant believers in history who have strengthened me with their testimonies, MOST of its pages are going to be filled with Confidence; Courage; Strength of Character; Purpose.
And FEAR will have no place in it!
Friends, every day, we open the book of our life and turn to a new page in our journey. We have 24 hours to write on it. The words and actions we carve out will become our story. When the sum of our life is over, all that we leave our progeny is our name and the testimony of what we have stood for. That reality should give us the courage to write our stories with great purpose and a faith that can endure to the end.
Yes indeed! If “history repeats itself”… so can the courage of those before us find its way back into our hearts and spirits!
What stories are YOU going to write, my dear friends??
Today would have been my mother-in-law’s 90th birthday.
Let me start by saying that when I was 17, I “stole” her 19 yr old “baby” boy away from her… & started a decade long war of the Titans. 😂😂😂
I was young; Opinionated (imagine that!); Mouthy; & too unwise to contain my thoughts. And those were probably my better points. 😔
I could not Stand her “invasive”, “meddling” ways. I didn’t have the life experience to understand that this was her desperate attempt to show the motherly love she had been denied. You see, her mother had died when she was just 2…. And her dad couldn’t cope. She was dropped off at an orphanage which kept her physically fed but emotionally bankrupt. She was starving for proof of her value.
She married a man who did not love her. And struggled for many years to hold her family together in spite of the challenges. Eventually, she was left to raise 4 children alone. There weren’t court systems in place to ensure child support was sent & if there was govt assistance at that time, she would have been too proud to have accepted it. She literally worked day & night to keep her kids fed and a roof over their heads. Some how, she managed to do that by sheer grit & determination.
I entered the picture years later, and knew all of this history… But wasn’t yet walking in the empathy I have now. I guess you could say that I had HEAD knowledge but no HEART knowledge. And her attempt to “love” her children clashed mightily with my desperate need for independence and self reliance. It was a recipe for a disastrous relationship.
It wasn’t until I was in my late 20s that the tide started to change. Perhaps I became more confident in who I was and less defensive? Perhaps it was just because I had started giving her grandchildren and she wanted to see them badly enough to put up with me! 😂IDK.
The point is, we always clashed. At least until those last few years. At some point, she chilled out a little bit and I grew up a whole lot, and we became able to focus on the things we had in common instead of considering them a Battle Ground.
It was at that point that I was finally able to make an impact on her faith. She had been raised in the orphanage hearing of God, but not KNOWING Him. And during those last few years of her life, we had finally put the hatchets down and developed a relationship where we could share more freely with one another.
I remember her asking me if I really believed the Bible was true. And I remember pausing & taking a deep breath before responding to her. Finally I said “Yes, yes I do! In fact that’s the only way that I can get out of bed every morning. I wouldn’t have the courage to walk in this world without my faith!” And I remember her response was “I want that reassurance, too!” We prayed over the phone that day. And something beautiful happened in BOTH of us.
A few years later, she passed away in her sleep. And while I will forever be grateful for the events we shared that afternoon, I can’t help but realize how we almost missed it. Two desperately broken women, too proud to lay aside our differences, almost cost her eternity. Wow. Let that sink in!!
Why am I sharing our story, today, on the memorial of her birthday? Because she was a strong woman, who raised the little boy who became the love of my life and I want to honor her.
***But also because I want to remind you all that where the story starts doesn’t HAVE to be where the story ends!! ***
We each get the freedom to write our own stories. But when we invite God in and willingly lay down our “rights” & just humbly love as we are commanded to… the end result will be so much more than it could be any other way. We may still be “cracked” and “broken” but the Word of the Almighty God will water our dried up spirit and bring forth great beauty.
This pandemic has got the world in such a precarious place. Friends and family are separated and the stresses of life have multiplied a hundred fold. The information we receive keeps changing. The powers that be publicly battle for truth supremacy, as the rest of us sit and question what is really going on behind the scenes.
Businesses are closing. Factories have shut down. Many are out of work, yet the bills keep coming. Our current reality is nothing like the carefree, vacation-like days that most of us have fantasized about. Instead, the hours melt into days and the days melt into weeks, with barely enough difference in our activities to distinguish one from another.
No one asked us if we wanted these changes. Or if we were “ready” for them. And even if they had… How on earth could any of us have fully prepared for the radical way our lives have changed??? And yet, this is the stage that our life’s performance is forced to play out on.
As I have sat at home and pondered many things, I’m going to be honest and say that over and over again, I have sighed in relief that “the end of life as we know it” waited until my five children were grown and on their own. In truth, my entire experience as a young mother was tainted by the ominous concern that these things kinds of things would happen while my children were a tender age. It might sound bizarre to many of you that I would have had such fear so many years ago…But perhaps if I open up a bit and reveal some personal things, it will make more sense.
You see, I was raised in a Christian home; one where I played on the floor with my toys as a little girls while my parents entertained friends and ministered to their many needs. Often, their conversations would gravitate to spiritual things, and on many of those occasions, deep philosophical discussions about “the end times” would result.
These conversations were not intended for my ears. But children have a way of soaking up everything they are around, and this was no exception. There was the mention of world chaos; food shortages, sky rocketing crime rates, intrusive government, “spies” who turn you in for the slightest infractions and of course…. the dark and mysterious “man of sin” and his “mark of the beast”.
Panic would grip my insides as my mind raced through all the creative scenarios that a child could envision. I feared being separated from my family. I feared war and being hungry. I feared death and how it would come. But mostly, I feared the unknown— and I feared it with every fiber of my being.
That fear remained part of me for many, many years. Even now, as a grown woman and mature believer, I have to be diligent in taking those thoughts captive, or I could quickly be transported to a dark and desperate prison, held captive by fear in the inner chamber of my mind.
So, with that confession behind me…. let’s go back to my ponderings. My mother’s heart has been quite grateful that my children are now grown and I did not have to face these dark and uncertain times while they were little. Then…. my mind wandered over to guilt — thinking how selfish it was for me to find relief simply because my challenge was behind me. After all, I know so many moms with young children, and I myself am now a grandmother, watching a daughter juggle the pressures of motherhood! The memory of the weight these women carry laid heavily on my heart. These days are so full of uncertainty. The echo of all the “what ifs” I’ve ever asked resonated inside of me. I felt shame wash over me.
I closed my eyes and asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me. I repented of the selfishness; of the presumption that I ever had any control. I repented of the fear that still to this day fights to control me. I repented of the hypocrisy I’ve been guilty of when I have proclaimed “Your Kingdom Come!” yet lived in dread of the birth pains that bring it!
I opened my eyes, looked around and let out a heavy sigh. My face was tear stained. My body ached. My spirit felt…. so… so weary. I had poured myself out in front of my Father’s throne and there was nothing else left in me. I was spent. And that’s just where our Daddy needs us to be before we can hear Him whisper His calming truths.
He brought the story of baby Moses to my mind, and how desperate his mother must have been to have laid her precious baby in a basket and set him in a lake, adrift on the waters. I can’t fathom that kind of desperation. The reality made me recognize that she lived through Dark and perilous times, too!
All sorts of questions flooded my mind. Did her heart leap for joy when she heard he had been found by Pharaoh’s daughter? Did she sigh in relief that he was safe? Or did it rip her heart in two to see a pagan princess and her family cradle her beloved son as their own?! Was her hope restored when she was granted the opportunity to serve as his “wet nurse”? And if it was, did it flee from her again the day little Moses was weaned and she had to send him off to live the life of a prince, who’s upbringing would be contrary to every thing she believed was good and true?
Did she wonder where God was??? Did her mind race with fear as she envisioned every evil that might befall her son without her guiding hand? Did she agonize over how she was going to instill every tenet of her faith in a child that was only going to be with her for 3 or 4 short years?? She HAD to know that wasn’t enough time; that Moses would be too young to remember all the things she wanted to share with him! Who was going to raise him? Who was going to share their people’s history with him? Who was going to teach Moses their ways? Didn’t God Care??
I could envision her pleading, “Please God…. Please! Tell me you CARE! Tell me you notice the chaos swirling around me!! Tell me you really HAVE “got this”! Because, God…. I don’t! I …just….don’t.”
Just the thought of what she must have gone through brought tears back to my eyes. As a mother, I have felt those same emotions—more times than I can count. I found myself in agreement with her—- asking those very questions about so many of my own concerns!
And then, He lifted that dark veil and allowed me to see.
Moses DID turn out okay. Yes…. It took a while. And his momma probably didn’t live long enough to see it all pan out. But the fact that she didn’t live to experience it doesn’t mean God didn’t come through for her. After he was drawn out of the dark waters of the Nile river, Moses lived in the palace of Pharaoh, in absolute luxury, for the next 40 years. Considering that the rest of the Hebrew people were enslaved at that time, It probably wasn’t a bad gig! But even in the midst of all the bad doctrine, and all those false gods—- in the pit of sensual pleasures that certainly woo’d his physical senses, God moved.
He wasn’t slow in bringing it to pass, like we moms might think. He was patient! He was waiting for pieces to come together that Moses’s momma couldn’t have possibly considered. He was waiting for a little girl to become a woman, so that He could bring Moses a helpmate— made especially for him! He was waiting for Israel’s prophesied time in captivity to come to end. He was waiting for Moses to grow from the arrogant adopted son of a pagan Princess to a humble servant of the Most High!
The first season took 40 years. The next took 40 more!! Humans grew weary. Their bodies failed and turned to dust. But GOD never forgot a mother’s fervent prayers, and never veered from His plans. In time, Moses rose to be the man God had created him to be— In spite of it taking 80 years on our human time line. In spite of life looking nothing at all like his mother must have hoped. In spite of his life being full of trials and growing pains—-and all kinds of things his mother would have changed for him had she had the power!
In fact, I’m going to go so far as to say—-God’s perfect plan actually required Moses to walk through every single situation he did in order to bring about the outcome God desired. It required the time. The difficulty. The pruning of arrogance. The separation from family. The decades of back-breaking sweaty and humbling work as a shepherd in the wilderness. ALL OF IT— every single piece— was used in molding the man God intended Moses to become. Not one experience was wasted— even the ones brought about by Moses’s own screw ups!
It is comforting to me to remember that the God his mother worshiped is still very much alive; very much in control; very much still involved in the affairs of men. He can—and does— use every situation, every mistake, every pitfall, every world event— to bring about His purpose for us and humanity. When I see it from that perspective, the grip of fear is broken and I am released. Set free. I am no longer a prisoner of fear— chained by doubt and dread.
I still don’t know what tomorrow holds—- and that’s probably a good thing, because I was not created to bear its weight! I was created to live today to its fullest, giving honor and glory to the Almighty God I serve. And frankly, that is a LOT easier to do when I look back through time and see His track record of faithfulness in the life of a mom and her baby named Moses!
“Who ARE you? Who IS the lady behind #BuiltToBeAButterfly ??” I get asked that a LOT, but I never mind answering.
I’m a 50 something wife; mom of 5 biological children & mother figure to dozens of “adopted” kiddos around the world.
I am a woman of faith. I adore my husband and children. I love people and travel, gardening, and finding quaint little coffee houses in obscure little hole-in-the-wall places to snuggle in and enjoy a cup of Joe and quiet fellowship.
I prefer to stay focused on the positive, to maintain an attitude of gratitude And I do my best to encourage others along my journey. That’s the sole purpose of the BuiltToBeAButterfly blog.
But my life isn’t with out frustration … or fears .. .or loss . I understand depression and heartache; and there have been times when my insides ached so badly that, at times, I could barely breathe!
I am SO very flawed! Sooo far from perfect. And yet… my Heavenly Father STILL uses me to touch lives.
Every time the enemy creeps in & tries to discourage me… tries to shut me up… tells me that my life can’t/won’t ever make a difference….. I get a little snippet of hope and encouragement from some one who took the time to reach out and say otherwise! 😍
You see, God has been SO gracious to me. He sees me, warts and all, and is STILL willing and able to use me!!
And guess what, friends? HE WANTS TO USE YOU, TOO!! Your life has value. Your life has purpose. YOU have a calling on your life!!!
Don’t let the world intimidate you. Embrace life and let the Father use all of your imperfections to shine His light in this dimly lit world. Your gifts are desperately needed in this world today!
I’m here to remind you that you don’t have to be perfect to be found worthy of service. And your life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful!! My life is proof. 🐛🐛🐛
The last month has been filled with a flurry of excitement for my family. Our son and daughter-in-love just had their first child, and I’ve been blessed to be able to spend some time snuggling with my precious little grandson. I probably don’t have to even tell you that he’s beautiful. Or that I am absolutely, totally and completely, in LOVE. (smile) 
I really try to bring a snippet of encouragement … a little ray of joy… into the lives of others through the words I share here in my blog. I make an effort to focus on what is “good” and “right” in the world… even when that is a bit of a struggle because of my personal short comings.
Today would have been my mother-in-law’s 90th birthday.
