So much of life is about perspective, don’t you think?
I was reminded of that just recently. I was playing on a soccer field with my grand kids. Nothing too formal. We were just kicking the ball around and having fun.
The day was sunny but cool. You could tell fall was just around the corner. As I looked out across the expansive field, I could see a man on a zero turn mower off in the distance, zooming back and forth, cutting the grass for what would most certainly be the last time of the season.
I couldn’t help but shake my head sarcastically. What a waste of city funding. Anybody could tell the grass wasn’t in need of cutting. After all, it was already browning and patchy in spots. All he was going to do was stir up a dirt cloud! ‘What an absolute waste of time and tax-payer money,’ I thought to myself.
(Admit it. That’s about as dying & brown as it gets. Right??!)
Then I heard it— the excited squeal of one of my sweet grandchildren.
“MiMi! Come look! They’re so pretty!”
“Pretty?” I thought to myself. “How on earth is dying, brown grass pretty?”
Of course, I didn’t SAY that out loud or anything. I did what any good grandmother would do. I allowed my excited little grandson to grab me by the finger and lead me — not so gently— towards a section of grass about twenty feet from where I’d been standing.
“Look MiMi! Look! They’re so pretty!” he exclaimed.
Suspiciously, I looked down. More dying, brown grass.
“No MiMi! You can’t see them from up there! You have to be down HERE!” he chided.
Now friends … I’m 5’6” so my vantage point wasn’t terribly far from his! What on earth was he seeing that was so spectacular that I couldn’t see from such a limited distance away? I let out a weary sigh but conceded. He pulled me to the ground and pointed.
There… amongst the dying brown grass was… the most beautiful collection of tiny white flowers! This is literally the same picture from earlier. I simply expanded it. These beauties were there all along!!
Each was shaped like a four-sided star, and… upon closer observation, each tiny petal was lined with rows of soft hairs. White stamens protruded from their centers. There weren’t two or three… or even ten of these little beauties. There were dozens! Each tucked down between blades of dying, brown grass— on a soccer field that was trampled by gaggles of cleat-wearing children multiple times a week!
I have no idea how these fragile looking little blossoms survived in such an unwelcoming environment. But the sight of them brought a smile to my face. As I ran my fingers through my grandson’s sweaty hair, I was prompted to offer a moment of silent gratitude. Had he not persuaded me to stop and change my vantage point, I would have missed the wonder of the moment right in front of me!
Life can become like that so easily if we allow it! We get busy; tired; perhaps even a little lazy. We grow old— not in body but in mind. We often lose our child-like wonder and our appreciation for the “little things” is pummeled to death by invaders like “schedules”, “responsibility” and the “pressures of life”.
I struggle with those things, too— but on this particular day, I was reminded that surrendering to them is a choice! We can just as easily CHOOSE to nurture that child-like appreciation for the “little things”. It starts with where we allow our mind to go and ends somewhere on the self of priorities.
We aren’t victims of our busy schedules. More accurately, we are merely the result of what we focus on! No wonder so many of us are sick, depressed, anxiety-ridden and lacking the energy to get through our day. If our mind is fed a diet of negativity and our bodies are depleted of real food, physical movement, quality down time and good sleep, what other results should we expect???
We all know these things, so I’m just “preaching to the choir” here. I know these concepts and yet— continually lose sight of them, so I thought maybe I’m not the only one who needs reminding? So friends, here’s a simple piece of counsel. Stop and smell those flowers (literally AND figuratively!) Make conscious, intentional choices to eat better, to get some sunlight; go for a walk; make time to laugh and refresh yourself —daily.
It takes effort. It requires commitment. It will be an investment of your time as well. But I am a firm believer that we each make time for what we believe is important. Be determined to see past the dying, brown grass to find the tiny little flowers of life. I promise you’ll be grateful you adjusted your vantage point!
This is part two of a five part series entitled “Five Truths I’ve Finally Learned”. If you find this a worthy read, please help me spread the word by sharing it with your friends & family.
If you missed the first post and would like to start there, here’s your link:
Hello again my friends!
Most of us have quirky little “pet phrases” we use in our daily life. Those of you who know me well know one of mine is “growing opportunity”. I use it like this: “Ah yes, it seems I’ve, once again, stumbled onto a growing opportunity!” Then I’ll laugh, shrug my shoulders and flash a half-hearted smile.
I’m not completely sure what that phrase conveys to you… but in total transparency, what I mean when I say that is: “Wow. This is way outside my comfort zone and… it’s probably gonna’ hurt like HADES!”
It’s funny how different something appears when a person pulls back the curtain and shows you their ugly truth isn’t it??! Yet my truth is… I use the phrase. A LOT. And I probably FEEL it even more often than I allow myself to SAY it.
Yes! I am a person who has experienced a LOT of “growing opportunities” in my life time! Some of them are the results of my own mistakes and sins; others are just because I am human, living in a less than perfect world.
While there are multitude of reasons we experience these “growing opportunities”, there is one thing you can pretty much always count on: They are almost always painful— regardless of their cause.
I realize we live in a world were transparency isn’t encouraged. Occasionally, the words that I write might feel … “cringy”. Raw; a little too raw, perhaps. But I don’t see how the Father can be glorified with our spit-shined, squeaky-clean, false bravados. You see, if I present myself as having it all together, not only is that dishonest— but it also cheats my Creator out of the praise He should get for all of the things He has done in my life! After all, every good thing I am is merely a reflection of His Light shining through me! All the yucky stuff y’all don’t like?? Well… that’s the “real me”.
He isn’t glorified in our self-proclaimed perfection. In order for God to get the glory and praise He deserves, we have to be willing to come down off our high horse and get real with each other. That’s why I try to write with honesty— even when it’s personally embarrassing. I want y’all to see who He is and what He has done for me. So, in an attempt to do that, I’m going to divulge Number Four on my countdown of “The Five Things I’ve Finally Learned”. Are you ready? Here it goes!
“A LITTLE DISCOMFORT IS REQUIRED”.
HA!! Yes, I’m laughing. Sorry—not sorry. It’s just that I’m envisioning the look on your face as you read that! Hahahaha. It probably wasn’t the earth shattering revelation you expected, eh? My guess is, no— it was nothing like what you anticipated. Still… it’s a very real truth. And, it’s a truth it took me an embarrassingly long time to discover! Allow me to elaborate…
Let’s be honest. None of us like discomfort, least of all me! But when I step back and take an honest assessment of my life, I have to admit that some of my most valuable life lessons came during a season of significant discomfort. I’ve spent a lot of time pondering why that is. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
As painful as it is to accept—-Growth doesn’t happen when we’re cozy and comfortable. We don’t want to hear that, but deep down inside, we all know it’s true.
Though we all long for ease and comfort, the fruit produced by a comfortable lifestyle doesn’t make us stronger. In fact, comfort tends to make us lazy… and weak! It makes us physically and spiritually complacent. If that’s the case, it’s worth investigating whether or not a lack of comfort could have the opposite effect.
Okay. Maybe I’m the only one, but I have found that it is during those dark, scary, lonely, overwhelmed times when I am suddenly— and painfully— reminded how weak, frail and vulnerable I really am! It is during these times when I have to admit that I don’t have the answers. I don’t have the courage, I don‘t have the strength, the faith or the knowledge to solve my problem. That’s right. It’s during the tough times that I have been humbled.
The plot twist in that is— it is in this place of humbled humanity, where I am reunited with my Creator. That’s hard to admit, because I’d much rather say that I’m strong and faithful ALL the time! But unfortunately, that hasn’t always been the case. It is discomfort which is often the driving force for renewing my prayer life. It’s the catalyst which gets me back into His Word.
As embarrassing as that can be to admit, I think it’s really important to share. I don’t know what life is like for you at the moment. I don’t know the specifics of your trials and heartaches, but I do know that we each encounter challenging times every now and then. I don’t think it’s necessary for us to like difficult times… but I do believe it’s valuable for us to see them as “growing opportunities”.
It has really helped me to see that discomfort often brings with it a chance for me to stretch, grow, and learn. It’s helped breed compassion in me. It’s helped me understand my fellow human a little better. Overall, I can see that it’s made me a better wife, mother, friend… and believer. Now, that doesn’t necessarily make the difficult times any less painful… but it does give those seasons redeeming value! So… call me crazy, but instead of running from them, perhaps we should start calling them “growing opportunities” and embrace them!
There you have it. A little discomfort is necessary; even beneficial. It may not be the gold nugget you were hoping for, but I do hope it helps frame your next journey through the valley of discomfort with a ray of hope.
This is part one of a five part series entitled “Five Truths I’ve Finally Learned”.
If you find this a worthy read, please help me spread the word, by sharing it with your friends and family.
Dear friends,
I want you to spend a few minutes pondering sounds that make you happy. What comes to mind? The ocean waves as they lap against a sandy beach? The clinking of wind chimes as they react to a gentle breeze? The cheery chirping of migrant birds, at your feeder announcing the arrival of spring? I love those sounds, too! But for me, there is one sound that beats all of those, hands down.
It’s the laughter of little children. It’s one of my most favorite sounds on Earth! I love the unbridled joy that radiates from their little faces. It’s sweet. Simple. Unencumbered by the heaviness that life often dumps in our laps as adults. Little children live in a realm of immediacy. Immediate Joy. Immediate sadness. They have not yet learned to hold back the tide of emotion that knocks us older folks down like waves at the sea shore. Little children aren’t embarrassed if they “snort” when they laugh. They don’t worry about who is making fun of them. They just LAUGH, unashamed and void of the social expectations that fence us in like a rusty barbed-wire cage.
How long has it been since you’ve allowed a child-like laugh to form deep inside your belly and escape your pursed lips? How many years have you strived to “keep it all together” for reputation’s sake, fearing that the “real you” wouldn’t find acceptance in the world you’ve created? How many years have you dressed the part you were expected to play, without regard to what it did to your soul?
Whatever your answer, the truth is… it’s been too long! That brings me to truth #5 on the count down of things I have finally learned:
5. You don’t get to determine my value! And nobody gets to determine yours either!
That’s right. The way I laugh or dress… whether or not I choose to wear make-up or jewelry… If I adorn my body with tattoos or piercings… or wear flour-sack dresses that hang loosely from my shoulders and drag the ground— what’s it to you? I should not have to walk like you, talk like you, dress like you or even think just like you to be valued and worthy of your love. Likewise, the choices you make don’t need to vie for my approval. They simply need to be an honest reflection of who you are.
An honest reflection. Did you catch that?? We must live a life that is honest— both with others, and ourselves!
My life, like yours, has been a series of moving from one season to another. As the circumstances in my life have ebbed and flowed, my hair style and wardrobe have changed right alongside my responsibilities and attitudes. I’ve been the teen in the “painted on” jeans, the conservative home-school mom in the blue jean jumper, and everything in between. But that whole time, I have always been “me”.
Well… except for those times when I was trying to earn the acceptance and approval of others! During those seasons, I remained a version of myself but never allowed myself to be fully—unapologetically— me. After all, being me, with all my flaws, was just too scary! What if someone discovered something about me that they didn’t like? They might… reject me! (Oh, the horror!)
Over the years, I developed this nifty little protective mechanism to thwart the pain of rejection. I rationalized that if I could just squeeze myself into the mold my desired group expected, they would “like” me and I could “belong”. All it took was… everything. All of the restraint, submission, swallowing-hard, and self denying I could muster. It always worked, at least for a while. Everyone loved me— except me!
It’s a pattern that started as a young child when I observed that “good little girls” behaved in a specific way and earned both love and approval, while those who went against social expectation were “bad little girls” unworthy of either. I learned quickly, and the lesson served me well growing up in the home I did. But the behavior patterns it produced made me extremely vulnerable to external manipulation. I was desperate to “people please” and terrified of disappointing those who “loved” me. It was almost as though I wore a blinking sign that told the world I would jump through hoops to gain its approval. This not only thwarted my personal growth as a young woman, it also made me an easy target for narcissistic personalities. Looking back, I can see that many of those unhealthy patterns lingered long enough to cause problems for my children as well.
Maybe I’m the only one out here who has allowed others to dictate what I should or should not look like; who I should… and should not be? But that’s unlikely. I believe it’s a pretty common pitfall for women in our society. It’s one of many lies we fall victim to. The lie tells us that if our husband loves us, we have value. If our children turn out “well”, we are good mothers. If lots of people like us, we must be a “good” person. If our house looks like a magazine cover, then we are great home-makers. If our social media presence has lots of followers, we are “successful”. Blah, blah, blah…
But here’s the truth: Our value does not come from the friends we keep. Our marriage status is not a reflection of our worthiness. How our children turn out has as much to do with their personal choices as it does our parenting skills. And social media? Ha! Social media is such a fickle source of affirmation. It’s a joke to think our value can be determined by the number of “likes” we get on a post.
My friend, when our value comes from these places, it can LEAVE with these places! The woman whose marriage fails must be a failure. The woman whose circle of friends excludes her is suddenly worthless. The mom whose children are struggling obviously did something “wrong” and all the sacrifices she made over the years were for naught. A messy house can’t provide comfortable shelter or a satisfying meal.
Y’all know that’s not true!
The truth is— Our value comes from the Most High. He determined our worth long before our soul merged with our physical body. We are the daughters of the King of the Universe. That is the position we are born in to— and die in to. It’s the only thing that will never fail us! It isn’t dependent on who we are married to, who approves or disapproves of us, who wants to play with us or who hates our guts!
The Creator placed a label on us that declares us “IRREPLACEABLE. ONE OF A KIND. WORTHY OF SENDING HIS SON TO DIE ON OUR BEHALF. LOVED— FOREVER” — without regard to whether or not we “snort” when we laugh! No one in Heaven– OR Earth –can place a “sale tag” on what God Himself calls Priceless—UNLESS we, ourselves, hand them the Price Gun….
Girlfriend, I want you to remember that!
It’s taken me a life time to finally start applying this truth. Along the way, I’ve had to make a lot of changes, and even let some highly contemptuous people go. Though I still appreciate a kind word, I no longer live for other people’s praise— and I don’t die on the altar of their criticism either! The Almighty Creator sets my value now, and the price tag He’s placed on my forehead declares me “Unique. One of a Kind. Dearly Loved, Highly Valued, and Priceless Beyond Measure”. This chick won’t ever let herself be placed on the “clearance isle” again, and neither should you!
Please Tune in next time for part 4 in the countdown of Five Truths I’ve Finally Learned!
I was traveling through the Atlanta airport last week. I entered my plane, buckled myself in to the seat and slid the window shade up so I would be free to view the city from a fresh, new perspective. I took a deep breath. Take-off is my favorite part of flying. The views are always so incredible!
Well…. Except this time. 😐
This time, the plane took off and almost immediately entered a cloud bank. There was no incredible view. In fact, the clouds were so thick, I could barely see the tip of the wing. (That picture on the left was my actual view.)
It wasn’t anybody’s “fault”, it was simply a matter of circumstances; a conglomerate of scientific events I don’t understand, much less have the knowledge to explain. All I really knew was that my favorite part of the trip was being ruined– and there was nothing at all I could do about it.
I’ll just cut to the chase and be honest here. I was mumbling under my breath. 🤑 Instead of being thrilled about my journey… or grateful that we live in an era where modern instruments would still keep us safely in the air— I was throwing an internal tantrum of “cranky five-year-old” proportions. All I wanted was a good view!
Alas— just as I was finally making peace with the situation, the clouds cleared. The sky brightened, the sunlight glistened off the silver wing tip. The clouds which once obscured my view were suddenly white and puffy.
It was the same seat, on the same plane, in the same airspace — but the pilot had climbed to a higher altitude, and in the blink of an eye, the scene from my window changed. Suddenly, every thing was beautiful again!
A smile crossed my face. I know a lesson when I see it! 😊 The sun was ALWAYS there. It was just obscured for a short while. A change of altitude revealed what the gray sky had temporarily hidden from me.
Life can be like that, you know. Our way can seem clouded and uncertain; bleak and scary. Obscured by rough patches we can’t clearly see through. There are often “clouds” or even storms to contend with— but we can’t allow the scenery to intimidate us.The situations we find ourselves in can change quickly. Radically!
Some times our “altitude” changes. We push passed circumstances and grow— stretching our vantage point a bit. Other times, a strong wind may come up out of nowhere and push the fog away for us. (Thank you, Father!) But inevitably, the clouds in our life will eventually part. The sun will shine and the view will change. It’s part of the ebb and flow of being alive. It’s funny that it took 15 minutes in the clouds to remind me of that!
For those of us in the northern hemisphere, today marks the first day of the sun’s return to us! Starting today, each day will become a little bit lighter… and stay brighter just a little longer! With each lengthening day, the hope of spring—- and the renewal it brings— draws closer. I’ve got to admit— that’s music to my ears!!!
I have chosen today to send my last communication of the year. Before I take a much needed little winter break, I wanted to reach out to you and let you know how deeply grateful I am for YOU.
I am grateful that you have opened your hearts up to me and allowed me to share snippets of my life with you over these last five years. I hope you have been blessed by the BuiltToBeAButterfly website and I pray you have found the words I’ve shared here to be honest, inspiring and thought provoking.
The creation of a website and the maintaining of a blog were certainly wayoutside of my skill set and comfort zone! But I believed the world NEEDED encouragement, so I “put my big girl panties on” and muddled through it. It took a while to work out the technical kinks but eventually, www.BuiltToBeButterfly.com was born.
(Okay… Okay. So the kinks never really have gotten COMPLETELY worked out…. LOL…. But you always knew you could come here to the website and scroll through the posts, even when the email program out witted me) 😉
It’s certainly been a roller coaster ride of successes and failures. In some ways, it’s become way more successful than I ever dreamed. In other ways, it’s left me confused and a little disappointed. But God has blessed me through it all and has allowed me to see that I’ve blessed others as well. That is a reward I can’t put a price tag on.
That said, for the last several months, I have been praying for direction on where to take this ministry. The world we live in has definitely changed in the last couple of years. It seems most people are too busy, too overwhelmed or just too dang tired at the end of their day to sit and read. So, I’m looking at moving away from blogging.
I’m not sure what that will mean for the future of the BuiltToBeAButterfly website…
I have committed to renewing the domain for the 2022 calendar year and will continue to pay for web hosting through 2022. I will still publish posts here occasionally, but will be investing most of my time and energy into completing other writing projects that I have been working on.
In due season, you may hear more about those. 😉
While you’re waiting—– I hope you stay BRAVE!! That you promise to keep GROWING. That you give yourself the freedom to leave your cocoon and CHANGE what needs to be changed—-and that you NEVER– EVER– STOP striving to become a stronger, more beautiful version of yourself!
Here’s to all you beautiful butterflies in the making!!
Good morning, friends.
I found this little butterfly nestled in the under brush of my flower garden this morning. She has been tattered by life and is weary, most likely facing the end of her life cycle. 🙁
You might be asking yourself, “Why on earth would she take a picture of that??!”
Friends, y’all know I’m not cruel! I promise you that I have taken no pleasure in witnessing the end of her life unfold! There is a different, more encouraging perspective that I am focusing on and want to share…
You see, although I hate to see her life come to an end, I was encouraged by the thought that her final hours will be filled with good things ***because of the garden I have purposefully worked hard to create.***
I am not God! I can’t add more days to her life! That is not in my realm of power. But…because of the flower garden I have nurtured all summer, I have been able to alter her reality a bit. I have been able to bring some elements of relief and peace to her short but beautiful life.
Seeing her there, nestled amongst the flowers, has helped to remind me that every day, each of us can work to build (or destroy!) the nurturing environments of those around us. We can sow kindness and joy or bitterness and anger. Which we choose is entirely up to us!
I want to encourage you to spend today being purposeful! Spend today finding the little ways you can make a difference!! Often, it doesn’t even take much effort to brighten someone’s day or to ease their hardships. It really doesn’t cost anything more than a snippet of time— and wisdom reminds us that the time passes, regardless of whether we squander it or spend it well.
So, be that person! Be the one who goes the extra mile. The one who holds the door open. The one who offers a sincere smile when passing. The one who spends a few extra minutes texting a friend to let them know you love them. Be determined to find a way to provide a niche of safety and refreshing in this cruel and misguided world.
You might just find that it brightens your OWN world a bit in the process!
A few of you have been kind enough to check in with me; most asking if there has been some sort of new glitch with the website emailing program. The answer is… no. I’m dealing with the same ol’ frustrating technical issues that have plagued the site for some time… but my lack of posts have had nothing to do with any new issue.
Some friends have envisioned that I’m not writing because I’m on a “grand adventure”. They have apparently assumed I’m soaking up the sun on some beautiful beach, or trekking through quaint little antique shops in obscure little towns.
Boy! I sure wish that were the case! But if I can be totally transparent, the truth is—-it’s just … LIFE. I’m just dealing with life. In recent months, there have been no grand adventures. No tantalizing my tootsies with sandy beaches in exotic places. There have been no shopping sprees or long, afternoon lunches laughing with close friends. While I have been blessed with seasons of those things, I have to “live life” inside the confines of the same restrictions everyone else does.
I have my own share of challenges; responsibilities; commitments; financial and health concerns, etc. I struggle with the implications of the daily news headlines, and occasionally do battle with the oppressive spirit of fear. I have grown children I am concerned about and grandbabies that I don’t get to see often enough. I am in a life-long marriage which is experiencing change; and trapped in a middle aged body that has begun to betray me.
Oh, make no mistake!!! There are abundant blessings in my life!!! And I have worked hard to train myself to always focus on those, with immense gratitude!!! But that doesn’t mean that times don’t get hard; or that I don’t occasionally struggle with anxiety, fear and an over whelmed sort of feeling that shows up out of no where and seems to defy words.
In fact, I was talking with a dear friend the other day and both of us found that we were struggling with some of the same kinds of questions. Things like:
1. “What does the future hold?” and 2. “Should I keep pushing forward in this direction? Or is it time to change gears and start focusing hard on XYZ??” 3. “What’s my purpose in this crazy season of history?” and… 4. “Is any of the effort I’m putting in even worth it any more?! It doesn’t seem like any of it is making a difference. It feels like the world is going to Hades in a hand basket!” 5. And I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t add the question: “Why am I so TIRED all the time??! I’m paddling as fast as I can but I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing anything!”
Maybe you can’t relate. If not, this post probably isn’t for you. But if you’re nodding your head in agreement, ready to admit that these are questions you’re dealing with as well, I promise you that you’re not alone in your feelings.
I’ve spent some significant amount of time on my knees in prayer recently, asking my Heavenly Father for help with these things. Slowly (much slower than I would have liked), I am finding answers to some of these things. Not “solutions” necessarily— but explanations. And that is helping me endure the struggle.
Since we are all human and tend to share the same kinds of struggles, I have decided it’s time to come clean with y’all and a share what the Father is showing me. I hope there’s something here that will encourage you!
First— Spiritual battles are REAL, folks! Tho it may seem like a cliche’—–time, as we understand it— really is short. And there really is a dark and powerful force which is vying for control of this planet and all the inhabitants on it.
Anyone who has made a commitment to walk the path of Righteousness is going to feel that raging battle deep inside their spirit; and it will have an impact on both their physical and mental energy levels! This is nothing new.
I am reminded of the servant Daniel, whom the bible defines as “highly esteemed by God “. He is in a stressful situation and begins to earnestly pray for help. He has mourned and fasted for three full weeks. Eventually, an angelic messenger comes to him and explains that he was dispatched to help at the moment Daniel first began to pray weeks prior, but that “prince of the kingdom of Persia” had fought with him so intently that it required Michael, the arch angel, to come help him.
It’s easy to skim over these verses and loose their significance. But as I read Daniel chapter 10, I was really impressed to pay close attention to what was unfolding. Though we don’t know the name of the angelic messenger who was sent to minister to him, we can say with certainty that he was a pretty impressive and powerful being. (See his description in Daniel 10:5-7)
Yet even this member of YHWH Almighty’s angelic host found himself struggling in a battle with the demonic realm that was so intense, it was preventing him from reaching Daniel. Think about this y’all! An angelic messenger had to call out for help from none other than the powerful chief prince, Michael, himself! And only then was he able to overcome!
Now… we have to stop and ask ourselves— If an angelic being has to ask for help to overcome a demonic stronghold… who do we think we are to enter into battle on our own???!
That got me thinking about a second point. If God isn’t cruel (and He is not!), and if He truly does work all things out for our good and His glory (just as Romans 8:28 tells us), then could it be that the battles we face have some sort of meaningful spiritual purpose???
Do you remember the bible verses about the ten virgins? (Matthew 25) The scriptures say that “half were wise” and took enough oil for their lamps to last through out the night. The other half were “foolish” and did not prepare. They did not have enough oil to get them through the night, so at some point in their nightly watch, these “foolish virgins” found themselves running out of oil. They had to rush out to replenish it, and missed the bridegroom they had been waiting for. 🙁
Obviously, the story is an analogy where the olive oil represents their “faith”, strength or spiritual stamina. But when you consider how the oil in their lamps was made, things get really interesting! You see, in that time, the lamp oil was made by pouring olives into a large press. Then pressure was applied to the press, and the olives were squeezed.
If only a little pressure was applied, only a little oil would have been produced. However… if a LOT of pressure was used, the same number of olives would have produced a significantly larger amount of oil!!! Check out 2 Corinthians 4:8-10, 15 and see if these verses help a light come on for you, as they did for me.
Do you see it?? More “pressure” produces more “oil”! Just like the struggles during our life’s journey produce a maturity that births more faith! What if the purpose of our struggle is to “press” us so that we produce as much “oil” as possible? That truth means we have a reason to call our trials a blessing because they are actually an act of mercy which helps us prepare ourselves for the days ahead. (Note that I didn’t say they would be EASY, PLEASANT or FUN! But merciful just the same!)
The struggle is real, my friends— but we can take some comfort in knowing that there is purpose in our pain. The effort, the exhaustion, the heartache…. whatever it is that is currently a personal stumbling block for you… none of it is for naught. The Father can— and will— use every last bit of it to bring good in your life. It’s just that it isn’t an overnight process, they way we would prefer.
So here’s the third and final point. It comes from 2 Kings 5:1-3, 9-11, and 13-14. It’s the story of Naaman, the commander of the Syrian forces, who just so happened to also be a leper in need of a miraculous healing. (Please take a few minutes to read the entire chapter when you have time, but I want to use the verses above to point out something I had missed before, even though I’ve read the story many times).
Naaman is desperate enough for healing that he makes the journey to see Elisha, a well known prophet in Israel, in hopes that Elisha will touch him and proclaim healing in his body. What he receives, however, is quite different than his expectation.
Not only does Elisha not come out and physically touch Naaman. He doesn’t come out to greet him at ALL! In fact, all Elisha does is send a messenger to him, telling him to go wash himself seven times in the dirty ol’ Jordan river! Now Naaman was a powerful, highly respected man so being treated casually was most definitely an insult!
There are many valuable nuggets in this chapter, but I want to focus on verse 11 where Naaman assesses the situation, quickly becomes angry and says, “(but) I thought…”.
That’s right. “I thought…”
You see, Naaman didn’t just expect to be healed. He also had a preconceived notion of how that healing was going to be performed! When the events didn’t line up with his expectations, he threw an absolute hissy fit!
Have you ever done that?? Have you ever watched a situation pan out— differently than you had hoped or prayed for— and found yourself stomping your feet and shouting, “But I thought….!” ??? I certainly have! (More times than I would like to admit!) 🙁
Well, Naaman was so angry that he got back up on his horse and stormed off! Thankfully for him, one of his servants had the wisdom to help Naaman change his mind and follow the instructions Elisha had given him. You see, it was not Elisha—a mortal man— who would bring Naaman’s healing. It was Naaman letting go of his preconceived expectations that brought his healing! God would work a miracle according to HIS plan—not Naaman’s! And that plan included both Naaman’s obedience and his letting go of the nasty habit of having to have things his way!
I hate to admit this but God has shown me that I act like Naaman sometimes. I pray. I cry out. I beg and plead for various things. But… I also have all these preconceived ideas about how (& when!) God is going to answer those prayers. Just like Naaman, I usually get offended when He doesn’t follow my plan!
I’m coming to realize that sometimes I haven’t made room for God in my plans; so He moves out of the way until I’m ready to get my heart right. (Yes! That’s ouchie!!) When I get out of His way and submit my desires to His perfect will, He starts to move on my behalf— but not one moment before!
So the final lesson He wants me to “get” from this crazy season I’m in is… just let God be God. Let Him do things HIS way, in HIS timing— without my preconceived notions getting in His way! Whew! That’s a LOT for a fallen human like me! But every day, with His grace, I get up and try again. I know you can, too!
I hope there is something in today’s post that strengthens and encourages you, my friends! My parting words to you today come from Galatians 6:9:
Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not!
You are there… When fear grows near… and courage is lost… When hope dangles on puppet strings just out of reach… When determination fails us… and our knees buckle under the weight of this world… YOU are there.
When weariness and dread flood our soul… And our own mind becomes our most deadly enemy… When our allies fail us… But our battle still rages… YOU are there.
When the ache in our bones cripples us… When the enemy’s plans over take us… When all reason and honor forsake us… YOU are there.
When skies turn black and the thunder roars… When the elements pound us and there seems no where to hide… When our heart aches with anguish that our tongue can not speak… YOU are there.
When betrayal comes from those within… And we are bombarded with the cost of our sins… When the enemy taunts us and proclaims he has won… YOU are there.
When all we have done feels for naught… And our eyes grow dim with dispair… When loss seems more familiar than gain… YOU are there.
I’ve been asked to explain how I KNOW this is true… And all I can say is… because I KNOW you! I see you in the sunlight, as the first rays touch the sky. I hear you at the seashore when the seagulls cry… I feel you as a cool breeze rustling through the trees… But I sense you the MOST when I’m down on my knees!
My Creator. My Provider. My Redeemer! My KING! YOU are there!
Tho the cost of following you is far beyond what I first presumed… And I am staggered by the reality that I still have more to pay… Tho my body aches and my soul grows weary… Tho my faith is far weaker than I ever supposed… And my circle grows smaller each day… I have the assurance that you are holding my hand… That your love is faithful… And my future, you command.
I awaken and once again drag myself out of bed… I struggle to find purpose, but often find dread. There are times I have questioned why you have left me here… Among the dead and dying, who have no reverence or fear… But that’s when I realize you are always quite near. My Creator. My Provider. My Redeemer. My King! YOU are there!
When the dreams become nightmares… When the nights are long and morning tarries… You send a friend when I’m lonely. You send direction when I’m lost. YOU are there!
You provide comfort when I am raw and battle weary. When my mouth is parched and my soul is dust… And even when I can not see past the bitterness of today… YOU… My Creator. My Provider. My Redeemer. My King! YOU ARE THERE!
***This poem is deeply personal; taken from my own trials and experiences. I share it with you in hopes that it encourages you to know you are not alone in your struggles. Our Creator is there — standing near; waiting for you to hold out your hand and invite Him to walk along side you. His creation stands as His witness and MY life stands as a testimony.
This week, I was going through the boxes we’ve had in storage. Fumbling through the piles of bubble wrap, I eventually rediscovered a child’s kaleidoscope that I had packed away some years ago.
I held it up to the light and turned its lens first to the left, and then to the right. Every “click” and turn of its lens made a hundred brightly colored fragments fall and recreate themselves into vastly different shapes, each uniquely beautiful—though completely …. totally… different from the one before. There seemed to be no end to the ways the pieces could fall, and the anticipation of what the next click would offer kept me entertained for an embarrassingly long time. (smile)
As y’all know, my mind processes things in an endless array of analogies. (haha) And this experience was no different. As I clicked and turned that kaleidoscope, I couldn’t help but ponder how closely its changing slides correspond to the ever changing seasons of our life. Just like turning the lens of that kaleidoscope created an entirely different scene, each new season of our life brings changes that make it almost unrecognizable from what we had become accustomed.
I’ve come to realize that how we perceive life as a whole depends a LOT on the season of life we are in. For example: A healthy young woman in her early thirties seldom spends much time contemplating the impact her life has had on the world at large; but forty years later, she will likely spend a considerable amount of time pondering it. It’s just the reality of the Game of Life.
Spend a few moments here with me, and let’s explore life from two radically different seasons. We are going to take a bird’s eye view of two neighbors … and hopefully, broaden our perspectives.
Julie, a mother of three young children, spends her days struggling to just keep her kiddos safe and fed. She referees petty arguments between siblings and tries to keep the dirty laundry pile from growing to the height of Mount Everest. During this season, she is busy—sleep deprived and exhausted. Her days melt into weeks; and the weeks melt into months.
It takes every thing she can muster to simply keep her household afloat. Her vantage point is limited. From her perspective, life is an endless sea of needs and servitude. In fact, she can seldom envision her existence beyond this moment. It feels like her life will forever remain in a cycle of sticky, noisy chaos. There is very little “left over” energy to spend fretting over what her life will look like once these little ones go off to college.
Her morning comes too quickly. The alarm clock didn’t go off and now…. she’s running late. The children are grumpy and dragging their feet. Her middle child has lost a shoe. Again. She groans and asks herself how it’s even possible for a child to loose one single shoe from each of the pairs he owns??! She sighs. Flip flops will have to do this morning. That’s the only matching shoes she can find for him that fit.
She grabs the diaper bag and throws it over her shoulder. It gets tangled in her purse strap that’s already there, but she’s too hurried to care. With her youngest propped against her hip, she fumbles to find the car keys without dumping the contents of her purse. As she’s dragging her tired children down the sidewalk to the car, her eyes catch a glimpse of Margaret, the elderly lady who lives across the street. She doesn’t intend to covet… but Geeze, what she wouldn’t give to have beautiful flowers out front of her house like “Miss Margaret’s”!
Margaret smiles & waves. They exchange “Good Morning” pleasantries. Julie hurriedly waves, clicks the buckle on the last car seat and attempts to slide the van door closed. Just as she’s slamming it, the long lost shoe she spent the morning hunting for, tumbles out of the van and onto the driveway. Exasperated, she bends down, picks it up and tosses it into the abyss others call a back seat. The van door can finally be shut. One should never underestimate the feeling of accomplishment that comes from success. 😉
She positions herself behind the steering wheel and reaches up to adjust the rear-view mirror. Whew! She has 10 minuntes to get the kids to school. If there’s no traffic, there’s hope that she won’t be late this time. The air inside the van reeks of a long forgotten dirty diaper and last week’s stale french fries left behind after soccer practice. Now confined to their carseats, the children begin their typical tirade of “You’re on my side!” and “Don’t touch me!” but some where along the line, Julie has become numb to it all. Her actions are robotic. Stop here. Turn there. It’s the same route she’s taken a hundred times before. The monotony allows her mind time to wander.
Is she a “good” mom? She certainly tries to be! But, Dang!! She’s always Sooo tired! Will the kids remember all the little (and not so little) things she did for them? Or… will their memories be filled with the times she failed instead? Is she doing enough to prepare them for the life they will have when they leave home? Her mind recalls the resentment she still holds for her own mother over grievances they had when she was a teenager. She felt a shudder go up her spine. Surely she can do better than THAT!
Without warning, the shoe she had cast into the abyss comes flying through the air and slams into the rear view mirror, knocking it off kilter once again. “MOMMY!!!! He……” The shrill tone of her daughter’s voice snapped her back to her present reality. “Why??! Why do you guys always act like this???!”, she quipped. She took a deep breath and reached up to re-adjust the mirror. This is her life. Of course she loves loves it…. After all, that’s how “good” moms are supposed feel. ….. Right???
*** *** *** *** Margaret, a retired widow in her mid 70s, rises early and wanders out into her front yard. It’s so much easier to weed her flower beds in the early morning before the heat and humidity get intense. She stands near the street and turns to assess the front yard as a whole. Yep. The fertilizer she used last month has certainly paid off. Her flowers are in full bloom now and there’s no denying she has the prettiest yard on the street! In fact, seldom a day goes by when neighbors, walking up and down the road in the cool of the late afternoon, don’t stop to admire her hard work. She welcomes the interaction, even if it’s often too short and impersonal for her taste.
Some days she wonders if she truly does all of this work because she enjoys gardening… or… if she does it to get the neighbors to stop and chat for a brief while. After all, the occasional chatty neighbor is the only thing she can count on to break the monotonous silence that plagues the majority of hours in her day. With her own children grown and gone, she finds herself passing the hours, sitting in her porch swing, watching life as it happens, up and down her busy tree-lined, suburban street.
One of her favorite neighbors is a young mom named “Julie” who lives directly across the street. Margaret estimates that Julie is in her early 30s— with 3 kiddos age seven and under. They are absolutely delightful children; always quick to wave and so polite! Watching their antics is better than any comedy show on TV these days. There’s always activity. Always noise. Always mess. And always laughter. “There’s never a dull moment at their house!”, Margaret tells herself. “I’m sure Julie realizes that these are the best days of her life!”
She smiles and waves at the young mom, as she watches Julie struggle to corral her children and get them into the van. It’s only 8am. and the van is a mere 50 feet from the front door— but the poor mom looks like she’s already competed in a major triathlon event—and come in last! As the van door slides open, a shoe falls out. The gregarious Miss Margaret giggles under her breath as she watches the young mom toss it to the back of the van and slam the door closed. She smiles and waves again as Julie hurriedly backs out of the driveway and speeds away.
Margaret lets out a little half-hearted laugh and shakes her head in amazement, as she comes to terms with how quickly those years passed for her. She’d give almost anything to go back in time and trade her perfectly clean, quiet, lifeless house and yard full of glorious flowers for the chaos of giggling children and their endless messes.
She longs to hear from her grown children, but they are busy fighting the dragons of their own personal seasons and seldom have the time or energy to call. Her most valuable asset is her stash of memories, and she spends her abundance of quiet time pouring over them in vivid detail. Through out the years that her children had lived at home, she had often longed for quiet time. Now, the ticking of a wall clock in the kitchen is the only thing that breaks the deafening silence. She’s shocked by how loud it seemed.
Suddenly, the smile on her face fades, and a battle begins. Once again, she must fight the endless battery of questions she asks herself. Was she a ‘good’ mother? She didn’t doubt that she TRIED really hard. But if she had been “successful”, would her grown children be where they are today? Struggling in the ways they are struggling?? Her thoughts are filled with the poisonous darts of doubt. “What ifs” fill her mother’s heart. Concern and discouragement fill her weary spirit. She looks out her window and sees another young neighbor, playing in the yard with her children and finds herself resenting how quickly the moments of her life were spent.
Two very different women—- walking through very different seasons of their life. From each other’s vantage point, the other’s life seems so much more….. fulfilling. The one thing they share in common?? They are each glorifying the season the other is in—with OUT a broad enough view to see the entire picture.
Yes indeed— our individual time line, and where we stand on this board game of life, has a huge impact on how we perceive things! Like the kaleidoscope I still hold in my hand, the click of each passing season brings scenes and scenarios we can not predict. We can anticipate the inevitable changes with joy … or dread. But things will change regardless!
I guess the main purpose of this post is to help us all remember that each season is chocked full of experiences; both pleasant and bittersweet. Every stage of life has its own trials and joys, and it’s up to each of us to choose which we’re going to focus on. There is no inherently “perfect” season we should fear leaving and no season we should approach with dread. Where ever we’re “at” on the game board of life— someone– somewhere— is watching our life through eyes of longing and appreciation. It’d be ideal if we could look at our life that way, too, for tomorrow—- the scene will be different and today’s view will be gone forever.
In the original board game, only one person can “win” at the game of Life. But in reality, any one who can reach a state of genuine contentment for the season they are in can be a true “winner”!
It was one of those places I always dread going; a large, dirty city– filled with noise, smog and “busy” people scurrying in and out of traffic. It is also the kind of place racial tension hasn’t improved much over the past 50 years; a place where you can feel the intense animosity of its racially charged population just as easily as you can sense the summer heatwaves bouncing off the blacktop roads. It’s a place I avoid like the plague.
But, when one chooses to have a “country life”, one eventually finds a need to travel to the “big city”. Even though it’s more than an hour away, it’s the closest town with a quality hospital. Top rated specialists. Good restaurants. Specialty stores that ensure successful shopping experiences. I had put it off as long as I could. Today was the day. There was no avoiding it.
I had my list in hand and headed out— filled with purpose…. and a great deal of dread. What I hadn’t planned on is what God had planned.
I finished the “to do list” quickly, but found myself with at least an hour to kill so I decided to check out a couple of thrift stores nearby. My mind was cluttered and my heart was heavy. I aimlessly wandered through the isles, perhaps subconsciously hoping to find something to distract me from thinking. It wasn’t working…
I left the last store and headed to my car. The gray clouds finally burst open and the rain began to drizzle down, sending steam up from the blistering parking lot. I was almost to my car when my eyes caught sight of a furniture store with an attractive window display a few shops down from where I was.
I’m not in the market for furniture… so I don’t really even know why I felt compelled to go in. But… half way to my car, I changed my direction and headed for the furniture store. By the time I reached the door, the drizzle had become a down pour. Apparently this was not only going to be a no-good errand day… it was going to be a no-good hair day as well! LOL.
Just as I neared the door, it flung wide open. A tall, broad-shouldered, middle aged black man in a dark suit, greeted me with a smile. “Come on in here and get outta this rain!”, he begged. I stepped inside the entrance way, dripping wet and took a moment to compose myself. I felt like a drowned rat and for a moment, I found myself wishing I’d just run to the car instead.
His welcoming tone settled my spirit. Comforted, my eyes were drawn to dozens of make shift “rooms”, each filled with perfectly arranged furniture groups like you see on the pages of a Southern Living magazine. I wandered from display to display, soaking in the sights, as the salesman and I made casual conversation.
Eventually, we found ourselves at the back of the store, where another employee— a woman of Asian descent who appeared a few years younger than me— eagerly joined our conversation. Her presence brought a more personal touch to the discussion. She mentioned her grown children; the moral decline of our society… and both her concerns… AND her hopes for “tomorrow”. But the real game changer occurred when she mentioned her FAITH.
Oh, its introduction was “slick”–but not in a bad way. It wasn’t pompous or preachy. It was matter-of-fact. Simple but refreshing. Genuine. And her level of candor touched me, deep within my soul. I nodded my head in agreement with all she spoke, but my words got caught in my throat. Suddenly—without any warning at all—my aching heart betrayed me, and I found my eyes welling up with tears.
Without skipping a beat, she turned to grab a tissue from a box behind the counter and placed it in my hand with a gentle yet reassuring squeeze. Now understand… I do many things well; but raw, snot-inducing, heaping, sobbing tears ISN’T one of them! I’ve even been known to dig my fingernails into the palms of my hands to regain my composure and prevent tears. Yet some how, THIS was … different. My embarrassment subsided when I realized that she had pulled a second tissue out to catch her OWN tears.
Our raw humanity proved too much for our male counterpart. When I finally felt confident enough to stop looking at the floor, I caught this broad shouldered, well dressed giant of a man wiping the tears from his face. It isn’t often people talk like this; especially in the workplace— amongst strangers!
And yet— here we were. Three strangers— Of different races—from different backgrounds; living in different cities; worshiping the Living God in vastly different ways—- sharing an intimate and deeply moving experience—together— based on the never changing, steadfast and ever faithful Mighty One we serve! We gave our testimonies. We shared personal concerns. We encouraged one another with scripture, and we committed to pray for one another in the days and weeks ahead.
Who would have thought that a rotten, no-good, miserably rainy day– in a city I deplore– would turn out to be one of the single most encouraging afternoons I’ve been blessed with this year?! Not me… but God knew!
But here’s the thing: I didn’t just get filled with encouragement that day. I got humbled a bit, too. Yahweh used the experience to remind me of a truth I’ve long known. HE USES ALL THINGS FOR OUR BENEFIT AND HIS GLORY. Even no-good, miserably rainy days– in noisy, congested cities, where we don’t want to be. He uses people of every race; every creed; every political mind set and every socioeconomic situation. He uses any one—and every one— who allows Him some room to work in their life!
The man who had opened the door for me that day thought he was “just” a furniture salesman. The lady behind the counter went to work that day assuming she was “just” a finance manager. Ah…. Little did they know, that on that particular day, God would use them as “ministering angels”.
Their willingness to allow His love to flow through them brought light and comfort into my day. And when I am filled up, I come here and write— with the hope of filling others up. So, what they gave me– in the way of encouragement– is still going forth, doing good things; even though they may never realize the fullness of the impact they have had. Ponder that as you think about all the “little” ways we can each make a difference in someone’s day!
It can be easy to discredit the impact we have in our bland, every day world. The enemy wants us to believe we are “just” wives; “just” moms. “Just” grandmothers. “Just” teachers. “Just” salesmen or finance managers; People without power or influence. But, let this story be a reminder that He can work ANYWHERE He has a willing servant.
So dear friends, be encouraged! Just re-commit to serving humanity with genuine kindness— where sharing His love is your ONLY agenda. Then, let Him take care of the rest. In doing this, you, too, can be one of His ministering Angels… Unaware.
Dear friends, 
