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What Is Success?

Posted on by mrsmonarch

I have been struggling with a troublesome question the past few months. It’s whirled around in my mind like a harsh winter wind, sneaking around the corner and rustling the dead leaves in a fitful fury.

The burning question is: What IS “success”???
Maybe it seems like an odd sort of question. I mean… success is… ummmm….. it’s…. ummm…

Exactly! You see, the meaning of “success” is an elusive thing; deeply personalized, according to our own unique set of priorities.

“Success” in the corporate world means “climbing the ladder”, from position to position, each increasing one’s responsibility, importance and financial compensation.

“Success” in the business world means finding wildly popular goods or services which will bring the company popularity and financial reward.

“Success” in the educational world equates to fancy pieces of parchment paper with words written in fancy print that declare you an expert in a specific field of study.

“Success” in the worldly sense usually translates to “stuff”. A big house. A new car. Exotic vacations. Stylish clothes. A bank statement with lots of zeros– in the right places, of course. 😉

To a writer like myself, “success” could easily be defined by numbers. “How many books have you sold?” or “How many subscribers do you have?”, a potential supporter might ask. If the numbers meet or exceed their expectations, they would consider me a “success”. Yes, even in a field like mine, “success” all boils down to “the numbers game”.

Occasionally, you will find people who define success in less materialistic ways . Those people will equate success as a happy marriage; a close-knit family; healthy children and grandchildren who are walking in the ways of God.

Each of these different definitions of success is accurate— at least by the world’s standard. The problem is… Believers aren’t supposed to be judging themselves according to the world’s standard! We are supposed to be lining ourselves up with the Word of God!

“Oh, Come on, Ledonna. We already KNOW that!”

To that, I’d say—- “Then why aren’t we living like it!”

Friends, I know that “ouches”! And trust me—I’m preaching to the choir here! I’m struggling with this… and have been for some time now. 🙁

You see, recently, I’ve been trying to determine what success means to ME— mostly because how we define it has a huge bearing on whether or not we experience the peace and deep satisfaction of a job “well done”.

The reality is— there is nothing wrong with corporate success. There is nothing inherently wrong with money in the bank or the nice things it can buy. A formal education can open a lot of exciting doors for a person. And I could make a strong argument for the fact that YHWH WANTS us to each have a strong, vibrant marriage, good health and abundant prodigy; proving that these non-monetary blessings are “successes” in their own right!

But the big question is: How does our Heavenly Father define “success”?? And more importantly— Does OUR plumb line for success measure up to His?!

  • Joshua 1:8 says, “This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.”
  • “Do what the LORD your God commands and follow his teachings. Obey everything written in the Law of Moses. Then you will be a success, no matter what you do or where you go” 1 Kings 2:3
  • 1 Timothy 6:10-12 tells us, “For the love of money is the root of all evil which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of Elohim, flee these things and follow after righteousness, holiness, faith, love, patience and meekness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life whereunto thou are also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses.”
  • “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man” Proverbs 3:1-4
  • “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” Matthew 16:26

It seems pretty clear: Spiritual success is defined as obedience to His precepts. It’s possessing and modeling the fruit of the Spirit which resides in us, granting us the gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

The ultimate spiritual “success” is the attainment of eternal salvation, made possible by the atoning blood of His Son. Everything else in this world pales in comparison to “success” in this area!!!

While transformation of our spiritual life is God’s goal for us, He is still faithful to abundantly provide good things to His children in the physical realm (good health, food, clothing, houses, family, etc.). In fact, He loves to do these things for us! Matthew 6:25-33.

But He also warns us to be prudent because: “Where your treasure is, there also is your heart” Matthew 6:21.

So—-I’ve been asking myself…. “Where is my treasure?” and “Does my idea of success line up with the Father’s??”

Here’s some real transparency for you! I am a writer; and like most writers, I have a dream of publishing a book. To those of you who know me, that’s no big surprise. But humor me a few minutes and take a walk down this little path we’ll call “What If”…

Let’s say that this future book is destined to become a New York Times bestseller, but the publisher won’t agree to publish it with the chapter on salvation intact because she doesn’t agree with my statement that Jesus Christ (Yahshua the Messiah) is the only way into the Kingdom of Heaven.

What if getting my manuscript into the hands of a world renown publisher means that I have to water down my message to the point where its original purpose is lost? If I agreed to that chapter being removed, and the book went on to sell a million copies, and I made enough money to have that condo on the beach I’ve always wanted— would I be “successful”??

Hmmm. The world would say “YES! Of course! A million books is a HUGE amount of success! Your book will help soooo many people! That one chapter being removed won’t even be noticed!”  And maybe that book would help a lot of people, even without that particular chapter. I can certainly hope for that. But remember… I’ve invited you to play “What If..” with me…

What if my life’s PURPOSE was to write a book that ministers to the spiritual needs of an unsaved lady named Susan—a mom in her early 30s, living in rural Kansas, who’s struggling with depression and the weighty demands of raising children in the scary times we are living through?

What if — in the big galactic picture—Susan was scheduled to walk through a Goodwill store one day and pick up a 69 cent paperback book on the clearance shelf that’s cover caught her eye, and in that book she would see the glorious, life-altering plan of God clearly laid out before her for the first time in her life?

What if Yahweh’s perfect will for His precious child, Susan, was for her to find salvation through a cast-off paperback book, sitting on the clearance shelf of a local thrift store? That is inside the realm of possibilities. He has certainly worked in grander ways than that!

Now, consider this: What if she walks through that Goodwill store on that faithful day and that book isn’t there? What if that particular life-changing book was never written the way God intended because…. the publisher insisted on excluding the most important chapter and I agreed to that change because I was so eager to attain worldly “success”?

Would I be “successful” then? I mean … I’d be sitting on the balcony of my high-rise condo, clad in my sage green straw hat, clutching my favorite flavored coffee, looking out over the emerald blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico. And friends, that scenario certainly checks a number of boxes on my bucket list, for sure!! But could I consider myself “successful” if it comes to me at the cost of missing my purpose???

It should be no surprise that the Messiah left a warning about such “success” in his words to the Laodicean church found in the book of Revelation (v 3:17). This church was full of people who had money and lots of “stuff”. Yet he told them that they were “wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked” because their “success” came in ways that contradict His truths. Those are sobering words coming from our King!

As I have pondered that warning and its implications in my own life, I have come to understand that if attaining my ideal lifestyle means selling-out—- altering the words the Father gives me so that they will be popular instead of effective— then no!!! That’s not success!

If I have to write in such a way that sin is over-looked or perhaps even glorified— No. I am not successful. If I have to trade the life giving, eternity-altering words of the Living God for fluffy, feel good, best selling ones? Nah—- I’ll pass. Not only would that make me UN-successful, it would make me a total failure in the one area that is more important to me than anything else!

So as I have pondered the question of what success means to me, I have come to the conclusion that I would prefer two people read the uncompromising truth the Father has given me than have a million people purchase a book that misses the mark, defies the law or promotes sin.

But why has getting to that conclusion been so HARD for me???

My bible fell open to Matthew 8:19-20. Scripture is pretty clear. The Messiah—the Son of the Living God—and the very One I am supposed to pattern my life after—lived a life of miracles, yet had no place to lay His head. He was despised by those in “high places”, yet never let that distract Him from His purpose. He was never concerned about “the numbers”. He spoke to that solitary woman by the well just as passionately as He spoke to the crowd of five thousand the day He broke the bread and the fish. (John chapter 4; Mark 6:44)

Dear friends, I am writing today to confess that I’ve really struggled with this. I want to be “successful”— to be considered “good” at what I do; and able to use my God-given talents to provide for the needs of my family!! There’s nothing wrong with that!

But I am equally desperate to say that “It doesn’t matter!! Whether 2 people or 2 million people read this blog— I have been faithful to do what the Almighty has asked of me. The words are HIS— He can do whatever He wants with them!”

I WANT that kind of steadfast dedication! I LONG to be confident that He is using me in WHATEVER way He deems appropriate—without doubt and insecurity sneaking in and toying with me just because I don’t have a long subscription list!

But the enemy is a real pro at knowing how to attack us! He has snuck in to my little world and filled my head with all sorts of lies: Lies like:

  • “You’re not making any kind of difference here!”
  • “Nobody reads this stuff!”
  • “People aren’t interested in spiritual things any more!”,
  • “If you were actually DOING something for the God’s Kingdom, as you claim, shouldn’t it be OBVIOUS by now?!!”

Yep! This past year, Satan has been busy sowing discontentment, discouragement and even envy into my spirit because I feel I’ve been faithful and yet I’ve not experienced any sort of worldly “success”. The enemy has used these unchecked emotions to taunt me— to the point where I’ve found myself wanting to give up! Have you ever found yourself “there”???

That’s pretty sneaky!

But friends—during this difficult season, the Father has blessed me with a small but powerful inner circle of trusted believers. Occasionally, He prompts them to call or text me with scripture and life giving words of encouragement. This has been like … receiving a cup of cool water in the middle of the desert!!! The words are always just in time…and have been just enough to keep my tank from running empty. If you are one of those dear souls, thank you for being open to the Spirit’s prodding and making the time in your busy day to reach out. Please know that you were used to make a difference— and I am so very grateful for you!!

You see, we have to keep reminding one another that this exhausted, defeated, discouraged, rattled, overwhelmed, terrified, disorganized, brain fog we are struggling with is a crafty spiritual attack perpetrated for one purpose—-TAKING US DOWN!!! And that’s why I write with great passion and painful transparency— because it pains me to see so many WORN OUT saints, feeling like they are trudging through quick sand, without recognizing why!

The truth is— whether Almighty YHWH uses us to win over thousands of souls for His Kingdom… or … whether He chooses to use us in our own homes, quietly ministering to the needs of our immediate family— we are HIS. We’ve been created for a purpose; and bought with a price. We need to get okay with Him using us however He wants!

**I** need to get okay with Him using ME however He wants!

I’m going to end with this: What is success?? It’s getting to the throne of the Almighty God and hearing the words “Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matt 25:23) So my friends— let’s pull ourselves up by the boot strings and strive for that! Any thing else is fluff that will eventually get blown away by the wind!

(Personal Note: ***Dear friends, In the 5 years that I have hosted the BuiltToBeAButterfly website, I have never charged for my material. But there are costs involved in maintaining the site that I can no longer cover without receiving some outside help.

If this website has blessed you at any time in the past several years, please consider making a small donation to help me cover those costs. There’s a PayPal link on the home page that should make that easy. I am also asking you to take a few minutes out of your day to lift me and my family up in your prayers. Those prayers are the “gas in my tank” that keep me going. And when my tank is full, I am better equipped to help fill the tanks of others! Thank you in advance!)

Until Next Time!

 

 

Standing in the Gap

Posted on by mrsmonarch

This is Pearl, aka “Good Baby”. She is the “other woman” in my husband’s life. 😉

He claims she is some special breed of dog called a “Stafford Shire Terrier”…

Hmmph. But ***I*** call her a “Holy Terror”! LOL.

Every morning, this dog stands at the back door… literally SHAKING like she’s undergoing detox… waiting, not-so-patiently, for my husband to open the door and let her go on her morning run.

The reason she is so anxious to get out the door is that there is the cutest little chipmunk who lives under a giant forsythia bush by the driveway. This adorable little fella spends the majority of his morning running back and forth from his burrow under that bush, across our driveway, under a storage shed, into the great beyond—and back!

I have no idea why he didn’t just make his home closer to what ever it is he fetches each morning… But whatever the reason, he faithfully makes a journey of about 150′— each way— every single morning and again—just about dusk every afternoon.

His journey is perilous!!! He instinctively knows that dog is out there, waiting for him so he wisely breaks the journey up in to short segments, like the swat teams do in movies when they are trying to avoid detection from the bad guys. He runs from the bush, to my car and waits while he catches his breath. If the coast looks clear, a few seconds later, he will dart out from under the car and head to the storage shed on the other side of the driveway.

Pearl either knows his routine or she can smell him from inside the house! The second that door flings open, she goes flying outside, tail wagging, ears flapping and nose to the ground in a frantic but systematic search to flush him out. There have been days when she has only missed him by inches!! I’ve watched this scenario unfold so many times from the porch.

Of course, I’m always cheering for the chipmunk! (Yes, I’m on “his” side— even tho the little rascal wrecks havoc on the flower bulbs I plant each year.)

Maybe it’s because most days I feel like that little chipmunk!! LOL. I relate to him! I know first hand what it’s like to be going about life; list in hand— rushing through my day, gathering supplies, feeding my family, taking care of business. And I also know what it feels like to have the enemy hot on my tail, chasing me around, waiting for me to make one wrong move so he can devour me!!

Yep! I get it! That’s undoubtedly why I always cheer for the little chipmunk! 🙂 I see him scurrying around—minding his own business and doing his thing— and then, I see this 100 pound hound dog come out of no where, in hot pursuit, with nothing on her mind but his demise. And for me? That experience immediately registers as a spiritual analogy! That’s just how I roll!! LOL. As I watch this scenario unfold every day, I see myself and my own struggles. I see myself trying to just stay ALIVE— while the devil is hot on my tail, doing everything he can to take me down.

PLEASE tell me I’m not the only one who can relate to this???! 😉

I mean… I’m sorry. Forgive me. It’s not that I WANT you to feel like this!! I just don’t want to be the ONLY one who feels like this!!

But I’ll be honest. I feel this way—more often than not. And because so many of you have come out and been openly transparent right back, I know a lot of you feel this way, too.

I can’t really help the chipmunk. Well… that’s not true. I have started cracking the back door and shouting, “RUN LITTLE CHIPMUNK!!! RUN!” before my husband lets the dog out each morning!! HAHAHA!! (Seriously­– I DO THAT!) It doesn’t enable the little chipmunk to run any faster, but it does at least give him a 10 second head start, and some days, that has been the difference between life and death for him. I’m pretty confident he’s grateful!

Okay, so that works for a silly chipmunk. But what can we believers do, as we experience our own set of frantic close calls with the enemy?

Well—for starters, we can commit to be the “Gate-Keepers” and “Watchmen on the Wall” for one another! An Intercessor! Kind of like I am doing when I crack the door open and make that announcement just prior to letting the dog out.

We need to be reminding one another to stay alert and to be diligent because the enemy is real and he IS out there—looking for an opportunity to take us down.

The Word of God puts it this way:

“Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.” (-Ephesians 6:18 NLT)

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.” (1 Peter 5:8-9 NLT)

Friends— did you catch that? Both verses clearly tell us that we aren’t going through anything unique. The hurts, challenges, difficulties, fears, stumbling blocks, insurmountable looking situations that you’re facing?? Believers all over the world are struggling in similar ways. And as we told to be earnestly and persistently praying for them!!

Our Heavenly Father wouldn’t tell us to do something unless it was important! My friends, I have become convinced that there are days when our personal prayers are the ONLY thing standing in the gap between a struggling loved one and Satan himself!

I was prodded to read through Ezekiel 22. The chapter shares Yahweh Almighty’s frustration with the sins of Jerusalem. It’s hard to read that chapter and not recognize my own country’s terrible sins— but the really tough part came when I got to verses 29 and 30.

“I looked for someone who might rebuild the wall of righteousness that guards the land. I searched for someone … so I wouldn’t have to destroy the land, but I FOUND NO ONE.” (Eze 22:30 NLT)

Guys—that broke me! I mean… it reduced me to heaping, sobbing tears! The thought that the Almighty God—KING OF THE UNIVERSE—would care enough to stop what He was doing and search for someone—-ANY ONE— who would stand in the gap for others——-and not just those who are having a “hard time”— but for those who were facing utter and complete destruction—– and He could find NO ONE who would answer the call????!

Something happened in me. Something… snapped! I can’t really explain it. But suddenly, I didn’t feel beaten down; exhausted; over whelmed; or “too busy”. The thought that He was searching for someone—any one— who was willing to DO something… and realizing that the people He was searching for would actually have made a difference…. and STILL no one could be found??! whew…..

It’s made me cry out, “PICK ME, Father! I’LL DO IT!! I’LL STAND UP!! I will encourage others! I will warn others! I will pray, plead, beg and cry out for others!! I WANT YOUR HEART! Your passion! I want Your LOVE for others that will propel me to pray on an entirely new level than anything I’ve experienced before!! YES DADDY!! I will write… and ask for You to set the hearts of your people on FIRE so that they will be provoked to stand up, TOO! Yes, Father! I WILL STAND!”

So… HERE I AM!!! Using everything I have— including a lame analogy about an ol’ hound dog chasing a stupid chipmunk— to provoke you to STAND!!! It’s what YHWH Almighty wants His children to do!

“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

How do we “share each other’s burdens”? We start by saying, “Yes Father! I WILL STAND! I will stand in the gap and pray for others so that the thick fog they are living in will lift and they will have a chance of finding you!”

If you’re weak, tired, fearful, lonely? STAND UP!! Throw off the selfishness; the self-pity and despair and come to terms with the reality that a dying world needs your faithful prayers!! Decide (that means CHOOSE!) to Stand in the Gap!

If you’re beaten down, frustrated, angry at the way things in this world are going? STAND UP and say “YES FATHER!! I WILL STAND IN THE GAP! I ask for You to take all of my agony and do something useful with it!! Help me, Father so I can pray with passion, energy and useful determination! Yes God! I will Stand!”

Friends— if you are 80 years old, holding on to your oxygen tank, barely able to stand on your own two feet without help— you can still answer this call and cry out, “FATHER I WILL STAND— Spiritually, I will stand! I will pray with great faith and fervor! I will commit to making a difference!! I WILL STAND IN THE GAP AND FIGHT FOR MY FAMILY… FOR OTHER BELIEVERS AROUND THE WORLD… AND FOR THE LOST AND DYING WHO CURRENTLY HAVE NO HOPE!!”

Being a prayer-warring intercessor really can change the course of eternity, folks! And it all starts with saying, “Yes Father! I will STAND!”

Until Next Time,

 

 

Who Is Our Enemy?

Posted on by mrsmonarch

Hello again dear friends!

It’s such an honor to get to spend a few minutes with you today! I want to start off by proclaiming a hearty and genuine THANK YOU to each of you who took the time to track me down and comment on October’s blog post, The Olive Press. It encouraged me greatly to hear from so many of you. Thank you!

I probably don’t have to explain that it’s hard to write so openly. Most of you probably realize that transparency brings vulnerability. But do you realize that vulnerability also creates an element of fear in me??? Why fear?? I don’t really know. I guess fear is my “go to” human emotion; the “default setting” for my personality, when I allow myself to act out of my humanity, instead of my redeemed nature. And because of that fear, I’ve tried—in every conceivable way I can think of— to love on, minister to, and encourage others WITHOUT having to be totally, completely vulnerable.

I have tried to be honest while being guarded; while still preserving my personal, inner-most core— intact and safe. You see, I’ve longed to make an impact in the lives of those around me— yet wasn’t quite willing to pay the price of total transparency, where criticism and attacks are common place.

Criticism? Yes! Attacks?? Absolutely! The spirit of adversity is showing up every where these days! So we can be certain that it will raise its ugly head when we get serious about our spiritual walk!

The thing is— we usually expect opposition to come from “the enemy”. We expect that Satan and his minions will attack us and try to undermine the truths we proclaim. We expect for him to try to discourage and overwhelm us to the point where we might cower under the pressure and retreat.

But we have NOT been fully trained to expect him to use the dirtiest of tactics—

What we are not taught is… He will use any and every source available to him to pull off our destruction!! And that includes some below the belt punches—- like using our spouse! And our children! Our parents! Our siblings! Our “core” group. Those we love, respect, value and treasure the most in this world!

These are actually Satan’s most favorite of pawns because our love for them tends to be a weakness in our spiritual armor—making it the most effective place for Satan to deliver a mortal wound!

OUCH!! I’m going to be completely honest here. That reality makes me want to stomp my feet like a six year old little girl and scream, “BUT THAT’S NOT FAIR!!!”

Is it just me?? Or does that ring true for any of you guys, too??

I mean let’s get real. YHWH Almighty gave us our family!!! He blessed us with parents, siblings, marriages and children. Does it seem unreasonable to assume that these special gifts should be “off limits” to the enemy??!!
We might wish they were. We might even walk in willful ignorance about it. But they are not off limits! In fact, they are Satan’s number one, “go to” tool when it comes to creating stumbling blocks for God’s people!

In fact, we have been told ahead of time that they will be used as pawns in a compelling display of spiritual prowess, even without their knowledge or approval. In Matthew 10:16-23, scripture gives some really disheartening examples of betrayal that believers will face during the course of their lives.

Now friends, division and betrayal always hurt! But experiencing this at the hand of those closest to us… well… that is an especially grievous wound. Not preparing us for that truth is one way today’s church fails us. And that is what we need to talk about today!

Our families are going to be used against us! It was already proclaimed; having been recorded in scripture thousands of years ago! We have already been warned. So, in the thick of the battle, when things seem completely hopeless and we are filled with despair, we must continually remind one another that it isn’t really our loved ones we are battling against. (Ephesians 6:12)

What we are fighting is the power of darkness, manifesting itself in all sorts of creative ways. These forces manipulate opportunities that our loved ones provide through their sinful natures and attitudes.

Remember—the enemy’s sole purpose is to anger, frustrate and discourage us so that we give up and are rendered useless for service in God’s Kingdom. The “fodder” we humans provide makes their jobs much easier than they should be. 🙁

But it isn’t just our families that Satan’s minions will use against us! These powerfully dark forces will use any thing available— our childhood scars, our hidden insecurities, our secret sins and our ingrained personality characteristics against us. They will also try to use society’s humanistic ideas to make us stumble.

How so? Well… how many times has the world told us that “love” is equal to “acceptance”??? How many times has the world told us that calling “sin” a sin is “unloving” and “judgmental”??! Probably more times than we can count!

It is easy for us to be confused by the conflicting voices that scream at us today. Our fleshly, earthly desire to be “loved” and “accepted” by our friends and family often times does make it hard to stand on God’s principles. Most of us would agree to that.

But do you know what? The enemy will even use our really positive qualities like our devout love and commitment and twist them for their evil purposes!!! That’s right!! Even our *righteous* desire to be steadfast in our love– our desire to be “long suffering” and dedicated to our family—even those can become tools the enemy uses against us!!!

Friends, that’s new territory for me! Never ONCE have I ever had a pastor explain that even our most honorable human qualities can be tools the enemy uses to plot our demise!!!

For me? This new revelation knocked me flat! As I investigated it closer, I saw that it was true— well, at least I recognized it as true in the lives of everyone but myself. 🙁

Yep. I could see it negatively impacting the spiritual life of a friend whose husband wasn’t a believer and didn’t want her to go to church. Her deep love for him made her feel “torn” between being a dutiful wife and a faithful Christian.

I could see it wrecking havoc in the life of a close friend whose kids were going off the deep end, into drugs and other worldly pursuits. She was a devout Christian and dedicated mother, but the church taught her that children don’t go astray if we are “good”, “Christian” parents, walking in “confident faith”. If the church was right (and we long to believe it is right!) she must be failing in some way. Guilt was heaped upon her heartache, while Satan laughed hysterically. And that’s how the enemy used a devoted mother’s love to disillusion her and take her family down! 🙁

Yes, I saw these things happening all around me. But some how, I always felt I was…??? I don’t know. I just didn’t believe those kinds of dirty, underhanded tactics would be used on ME. On MY marriage. On MY children. And I certainly didn’t expect that the enemy would be able to use those I love most to knock me off course!

It’s not that I thought I was so great. I knew I was a frail and fallen human being, and that my family was less than perfect. But I also knew that I was faithfully doing all the “right” things. I was praying over my marriage and over my children. I was teaching my kids spiritual truths. I had my family in church regularly. They were fully aware of the gospel message and knew the difference between right and wrong.

For some reason, I falsely assumed that doing these things would prevent my family from being victimized by the forces of darkness. In fact, that was pretty much what the church had taught me to believe! You know— the whole “train a child” thing. And yet… here I was, getting smacked in the face by a spiritual reality check.

Ah. But we are all human. We all eventually stumble. We each fall short of the Glory of God. (Romans 3:23) Striving to be good wives, loving mothers and faithful Christians doesn’t change that truth! It just gives us the motivation to get back in the game and the battle strategy we must have to WIN! (Sadly, it took me an embarrassing long time to figure that out!)

So when the “fullness of our humanity” hit me—and Satan’s attacks started to really rock my world— the strain of it all pounded me like a two-ton wrecking ball, and it came terrifyingly close to dismantling my faith.

I felt YHWH had deserted me. I was angry; bitter. Confused… and frankly… scared to death! Why?? Because no one had prepared me for the reality of walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death as a mere mortal. They had taught me the sinner’s prayer and about heaven and hell. They had even taught me that it was important to pray over my family and to raise my children with Christian precepts.

But… the church had never taught me that Satan could ask—at any moment— to “sift me as wheat” and then use the very people I love most dearly as the instrument to thrash me!

Suddenly, there I was, wandering through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, clad as a peasant instead of a warrior! I was barefoot and walking on broken glass, while fending off fiery darts with a tiny little umbrella! 🙁 That’s how it felt, my friends.

I tried to wrap my bloody feet in the rags of compromise. I figured if I didn’t preach God’s truths so hard, the glass I was walking over wouldn’t cut so deeply. I was wrong.

I tried to find sustenance in this dark and dreadful world—some sort of “food” or “drink” that would fill me up ***without being offensive to the unsaved world around me. But the Valley of the Shadow of Death holds nothing but sand and bitter water. The only things you have on your journey through the Valley are the spiritual weapons you bring with you when you first enter it… and friends…I realized way too late that I went in pitifully ill-prepared! 🙁

You know—it’s hard to keep fighting when the enemy is screaming at us. It’s hard to keep pushing forward when he hurls accusations at us and we feel like a fraud and a failure! But that’s why I’m writing today!

  • It’s time to blow the lid off some age old falsehoods that are keeping us in bondage to fear.
  • It’s time for us to learn who the enemy really is, and how to fight him effectively!!
  • It’s time for us to grab the hem of the Almighty’s garment and cry out for the courage to engage the enemy instead of tucking our tail and running!
  • It’s time for us to beg Him for the strength to persevere—all the way to the end of the race!
  • It’s time for us to stand in the power of Almighty YHWH, receive the mantle of our individual spiritual callings and make a difference in the Kingdom of Elohim!! ESPECIALLY IN OUR OWN FAMILIES!!!
  • And it’s time for us to trust that we are walking towards the VICTORY that YHWH has already bought for His people!! (Psalms 60:12; 1 Corinthians 15:57, 29:11; 1 John 5:4)

It took some time, but eventually I came to recognize that the challenges I was facing were distractions the enemy was using to undermine my walk and weaken my resolve. He was using these things as a “smoke and mirror act” to pull my focus off of weightier, spiritual matters that desperately needed my attention!

If he could make me feel unworthy and ill-equipped, then he could prevent me from having a positive impact in this world—INCLUDING an impact on the very family God has blessed me with! 🙁

During that season, it seemed I could hear Satan mocking me!

“You see how tired you are??”, he sneered. “All of that was for nothing! Your marriage will fail! Your children aren’t listening to you! In fact, they are doing the exact opposite of how you have trained them! Ha! And all that do-gooding! HA! You actually thought you were making a difference???! HA!HA!HA!HA!”

Have you ever heard that voice in your head? Satan’s words are like poison to our spirit. There is no love, no joy, no hope in any thought he brings us. It’s all poison intended to murder our spirit!

So how do we deal with this?

1. We have to realize these battles were predicted; stated clearly in God’s Word, thousands of years ago. It shouldn’t shock us that we are experiencing painful trials and tribulations. But we aren’t failures just because we are walking through a season of great difficulty! We are simply human! (Acts 14:22; 1 Thessalonians 3:3; 2 Corinthians 1:8)

2. We have to remember that we are called to be a witness; a testimony for God’s tender mercy and unfailing love. If we succumb to outside pressure and are hiding our faith for fear of controversy and conflict… we are missing the very essence of our purpose! (Matt 5:14-16; Philippians 2:14-15; Luke 11:33; 1 John 1:5-7)

3. We have to KEEP PRAYING. We can’t allow discouragement and defeatism to sneak in and steal the promises we’ve been given!! We have to daily commit our family and loved ones to YHWH, without regard for how things appear to our natural, human eyes!    (Luke 18:1, Ephesians 6:18-20)

4. We also have to recognize that those who are an enemy of the gospel will be enemies of ours as well! Remember this, and guard yourself accordingly, using the Word of God as your armor. (Ephesians 6:12-17)

5. The Father has also been showing me that we may have to back away from some people for a season— even those we love dearly. This is especially true if our ties to them are hindering our own walk of faith. (Hebrews 12:1-2; 1 Corinthians 5:9-13; 2 Timothy 3:1-5; Romans 16:17-20)

6. Friends, those we love need us to be different from the world so that when the solutions the world offers them don’t work—- they will have the hope of something that DOES! You see, the hard cold truth is… we don’t win anyone over by passively dancing around our faith, trying to avoid conflict and division! We have to be be willing to call a spade a “spade”! Sin is sin; no matter what this dying old world has to say about it! We can’t allow those of this world to distract us from our purpose—- not even those we dearly love! (Matthew 10:37)

7. But even in this… we pray continually for their salvation; without ceasing!  (1 Thessalonians 5:17) Believing that He hears our prayers (1 John 5:14-15) and can do exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever hope. (Ephesians 3:20)

Friends, let’s end with this: We aren’t crazy! The “enemy” really is among us; oftentimes, dwelling inside the very hearts and minds of those we love dearly. That’s true— but it doesn’t have to remain that way forever. How we choose to do battle with our enemy can—and does—make a difference!

We must continually purge ourselves of Satan’s negative thoughts and renew our minds with God’s promises! (Romans 12:2; Philippians 4:8) Only then can we enter the battle— on our knees—clad in spiritual armor—fully aware of who we belong to and completely confident that our Redeemer wins. After all, we don’t serve a dead Elohim!!! And we are NOT a defeated people!

Until Next Time,

 

 

A Safe Place

Posted on by mrsmonarch

Good morning, friends.

I found this little butterfly nestled in the under brush of my flower garden this morning. She has been tattered by life and is weary, most likely facing the end of her life cycle.  🙁

You might be asking yourself, “Why on earth would she take a picture of that??!”

Friends, y’all know I’m not cruel! I promise you that I have taken no pleasure in witnessing the end of her life unfold! There is a different, more encouraging perspective that I am focusing on and want to share…

You see, although I hate to see her life come to an end, I was encouraged by the thought that her final hours will be filled with good things ***because of the garden I have purposefully worked hard to create.***

I am not God! I can’t add more days to her life! That is not in my realm of power. But…because of the flower garden I have nurtured all summer, I have been able to alter her reality a bit. I have been able to bring some elements of relief and peace to her short but beautiful life.

Seeing her there, nestled amongst the flowers, has helped to remind me that every day, each of us can work to build (or destroy!) the nurturing environments of those around us. We can sow kindness and joy or bitterness and anger. Which we choose is entirely up to us!

I want to encourage you to spend today being purposeful! Spend today finding the little ways you can make a difference!! Often, it doesn’t even take much effort to brighten someone’s day or to ease their hardships. It really doesn’t cost anything more than a snippet of time— and wisdom reminds us that the time passes, regardless of whether we squander it or spend it well.

So, be that person! Be the one who goes the extra mile. The one who holds the door open. The one who offers a sincere smile when passing. The one who spends a few extra minutes texting a friend to let them know you love them. Be determined to find a way to provide a niche of safety and refreshing in this cruel and misguided world.

You might just find that it brightens your OWN world a bit in the process!

Until Next Time,

 

 

 

The Olive Press

Posted on by mrsmonarch

Hi Friends!

Yes…. It’s been a while. I’m sorry about that.

A few of you have been kind enough to check in with me; most asking if there has been some sort of new glitch with the website emailing program. The answer is… no. I’m dealing with the same ol’ frustrating technical issues that have plagued the site for some time… but my lack of posts have had nothing to do with any new issue.

Some friends have envisioned that I’m not writing because I’m on a “grand adventure”. They have apparently assumed I’m soaking up the sun on some beautiful beach, or trekking through quaint little antique shops in obscure little towns.

Boy! I sure wish that were the case! But if I can be totally transparent, the truth is—-it’s just … LIFE. I’m just dealing with life. In recent months, there have been no grand adventures. No tantalizing my tootsies with sandy beaches in exotic places. There have been no shopping sprees or long, afternoon lunches laughing with close friends. While I have been blessed with seasons of those things, I have to “live life” inside the confines of the same restrictions everyone else does.

I have my own share of challenges; responsibilities; commitments; financial and health concerns, etc. I struggle with the implications of the daily news headlines, and occasionally do battle with the oppressive spirit of fear. I have grown children I am concerned about and grandbabies that I don’t get to see often enough. I am in a life-long marriage which is experiencing change; and trapped in a middle aged body that has begun to betray me.

Oh, make no mistake!!! There are abundant blessings in my life!!! And I have worked hard to train myself to always focus on those, with immense gratitude!!! But that doesn’t mean that times don’t get hard; or that I don’t occasionally struggle with anxiety, fear and an over whelmed sort of feeling that shows up out of no where and seems to defy words.

In fact, I was talking with a dear friend the other day and both of us found that we were struggling with some of the same kinds of questions. Things like:

1. “What does the future hold?” and
2. “Should I keep pushing forward in this direction? Or is it time to change gears and start focusing hard on XYZ??”
3. “What’s my purpose in this crazy season of history?” and…
4. “Is any of the effort I’m putting in even worth it any more?! It doesn’t seem like any of it is making a difference. It feels like the world is going to Hades in a hand basket!”
5. And I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t add the question: “Why am I so TIRED all the time??! I’m paddling as fast as I can but I don’t feel like I’m accomplishing anything!”

Maybe you can’t relate. If not, this post probably isn’t for you. But if you’re nodding your head in agreement, ready to admit that these are questions you’re dealing with as well, I promise you that you’re not alone in your feelings.

I’ve spent some significant amount of time on my knees in prayer recently, asking my Heavenly Father for help with these things. Slowly (much slower than I would have liked), I am finding answers to some of these things. Not “solutions” necessarily— but explanations. And that is helping me endure the struggle.

Since we are all human and tend to share the same kinds of struggles, I have decided it’s time to come clean with y’all and a share what the Father is showing me. I hope there’s something here that will encourage you!

First— Spiritual battles are REAL, folks! Tho it may seem like a cliche’—–time, as we understand it— really is short. And there really is a dark and powerful force which is vying for control of this planet and all the inhabitants on it.

Anyone who has made a commitment to walk the path of Righteousness is going to feel that raging battle deep inside their spirit; and it will have an impact on both their physical and mental energy levels! This is nothing new.

I am reminded of the servant Daniel, whom the bible defines as “highly esteemed by God “. He is in a stressful situation and begins to earnestly pray for help. He has mourned and fasted for three full weeks. Eventually, an angelic messenger comes to him and explains that he was dispatched to help at the moment Daniel first began to pray weeks prior, but that “prince of the kingdom of Persia” had fought with him so intently that it required Michael, the arch angel, to come help him.

It’s easy to skim over these verses and loose their significance. But as I read Daniel chapter 10, I was really impressed to pay close attention to what was unfolding. Though we don’t know the name of the angelic messenger who was sent to minister to him, we can say with certainty that he was a pretty impressive and powerful being. (See his description in Daniel 10:5-7)

Yet even this member of YHWH Almighty’s angelic host found himself struggling in a battle with the demonic realm that was so intense, it was preventing him from reaching Daniel. Think about this y’all! An angelic messenger had to call out for help from none other than the powerful chief prince, Michael, himself! And only then was he able to overcome!

Now… we have to stop and ask ourselves— If an angelic being has to ask for help to overcome a demonic stronghold… who do we think we are to enter into battle on our own???!

That got me thinking about a second point. If God isn’t cruel (and He is not!), and if He truly does work all things out for our good and His glory (just as Romans 8:28 tells us), then could it be that the battles we face have some sort of meaningful spiritual purpose???

Do you remember the bible verses about the ten virgins? (Matthew 25) The scriptures say that “half were wise” and took enough oil for their lamps to last through out the night. The other half were “foolish” and did not prepare. They did not have enough oil to get them through the night, so at some point in their nightly watch, these “foolish virgins” found themselves running out of oil. They had to rush out to replenish it, and missed the bridegroom they had been waiting for. 🙁

Obviously, the story is an analogy where the olive oil represents their “faith”, strength or spiritual stamina. But when you consider how the oil in their lamps was made, things get really interesting! You see, in that time, the lamp oil was made by pouring olives into a large press. Then pressure was applied to the press, and the olives were squeezed.

If only a little pressure was applied, only a little oil would have been produced. However… if a LOT of pressure was used, the same number of olives would have produced a significantly larger amount of oil!!! Check out 2 Corinthians 4:8-10, 15 and see if these verses help a light come on for you, as they did for me.

Do you see it?? More “pressure” produces more “oil”! Just like the struggles during our life’s journey produce a maturity that births more faith! What if the purpose of our struggle is to “press” us so that we produce as much “oil” as possible? That truth means we have a reason to call our trials a blessing because they are actually an act of mercy which helps us prepare ourselves for the days ahead. (Note that I didn’t say they would be EASY, PLEASANT or FUN! But merciful just the same!)

The struggle is real, my friends— but we can take some comfort in knowing that there is purpose in our pain. The effort, the exhaustion, the heartache…. whatever it is that is currently a personal stumbling block for you… none of it is for naught. The Father can— and will— use every last bit of it to bring good in your life. It’s just that it isn’t an overnight process, they way we would prefer.

So here’s the third and final point. It comes from 2 Kings 5:1-3, 9-11, and 13-14. It’s the story of Naaman, the commander of the Syrian forces, who just so happened to also be a leper in need of a miraculous healing. (Please take a few minutes to read the entire chapter when you have time, but I want to use the verses above to point out something I had missed before, even though I’ve read the story many times).

Naaman is desperate enough for healing that he makes the journey to see Elisha, a well known prophet in Israel, in hopes that Elisha will touch him and proclaim healing in his body. What he receives, however, is quite different than his expectation.

Not only does Elisha not come out and physically touch Naaman. He doesn’t come out to greet him at ALL! In fact, all Elisha does is send a messenger to him, telling him to go wash himself seven times in the dirty ol’ Jordan river! Now Naaman was a powerful, highly respected man so being treated casually was most definitely an insult!

There are many valuable nuggets in this chapter, but I want to focus on verse 11 where Naaman assesses the situation, quickly becomes angry and says, “(but) I thought…”.

That’s right. “I thought…”

You see, Naaman didn’t just expect to be healed. He also had a preconceived notion of how that healing was going to be performed! When the events didn’t line up with his expectations, he threw an absolute hissy fit!

Have you ever done that?? Have you ever watched a situation pan out— differently than you had hoped or prayed for— and found yourself stomping your feet and shouting, “But I thought….!” ??? I certainly have! (More times than I would like to admit!) 🙁

Well, Naaman was so angry that he got back up on his horse and stormed off! Thankfully for him, one of his servants had the wisdom to help Naaman change his mind and follow the instructions Elisha had given him. You see, it was not Elisha—a mortal man— who would bring Naaman’s healing. It was Naaman letting go of his preconceived expectations that brought his healing! God would work a miracle according to HIS plan—not Naaman’s! And that plan included both Naaman’s obedience and his letting go of the nasty habit of having to have things his way!

I hate to admit this but God has shown me that I act like Naaman sometimes. I pray. I cry out. I beg and plead for various things. But… I also have all these preconceived ideas about how (& when!) God is going to answer those prayers. Just like Naaman, I usually get offended when He doesn’t follow my plan!

I’m coming to realize that sometimes I haven’t made room for God in my plans; so He moves out of the way until I’m ready to get my heart right. (Yes! That’s ouchie!!) When I get out of His way and submit my desires to His perfect will, He starts to move on my behalf— but not one moment before!

So the final lesson He wants me to “get” from this crazy season I’m in is… just let God be God. Let Him do things HIS way, in HIS timing— without my preconceived notions getting in His way! Whew! That’s a LOT for a fallen human like me! But every day, with His grace, I get up and try again. I know you can, too!

I hope there is something in today’s post that strengthens and encourages you, my friends! My parting words to you today come from Galatians 6:9:

Let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not!

And that’s a pretty awesome promise!   🙂

Until Next Time,

 

 

 

 

Finding Good Fruit in a Rotten World

Posted on by mrsmonarch

The other day, I was talking to a friend; a beautiful young woman in her early thirties. She is usually full of “spunk and sparkle”; with twinkling blue eyes and a smile that lights up the room. But as she spoke with me on this particular evening, her eyes dropped to the floor.

She let out a slow, heavy sigh and began to share her heart break over the loss of several relationships she has suffered through the past few years.

She asked all sorts of questions:

*Why is it so hard to make deep friendships these days?
*Where are all the honest, loyal people?
*Why do people not seem interested in deep connections any more?
*Why can’t people commit? Dig their heels in and invest in meaningful, long term exchanges?
*When did people become so…. so quick to just “ditch and run”??!

I suspected she was just throwing questions into the wind; not really expecting me to answer. But—-I could feel the pain, ripping and tearing at her heartstrings. I reached over and put my arm around her shoulder and tried to give her a reassuring hug.

Suddenly, the thick walls she had been depending upon to hold back the wave of uncomfortable emotions— broke— and she burst out into heaping sobs. For a few moments, the world stopped and we just sat there together, in the quiet evening hours, sharing the comfort of human touch and familiar heartache. I say familiar because I’ve been hurt like this, too. In fact, most of us have.

Because I am her friend, I longed to squeeze her hard enough to take the pain away. Being an older woman and a “mentor” of sorts, I also wanted some amount of “wisdom” to share that would ease her heartache or … at the very least, offer her hope that a day will come when that pain melts away. But most of all? I wanted to understand why things are the way they are, too!!

I wanted to know “why” for HER—- and “why” for ME, as well.

I’ve heard it said that all humanity shares points of commonality. And that seems true enough. No matter what our color or creed, our nationality or socio-economic level, all humans bleed when their skin is cut. Likewise, all humans grieve when their soul is wounded. We all long for deep connections; for honest, loyal, dependable friendships; For deep and meaningful connections with others.

**So if it’s something we all want—why is finding it so blasted HARD these days??**

1. Well, there is the age old excuse, “We’re BUSY!”

And yes, in truth, perhaps we ARE, for In spite of all the technology around us, we have allowed ourselves to become more tethered to the demands and expectations of this world than ever before!
But sadly, SO much of what consumes our time and energy isn’t even worthy!! A good portion of it (like the negativity and gossip we see on social media) may not even be any of our BUSINESS!! And yet… here we are, giving entire CHUNKS of our very life force away, frivolously spending it on things that don’t matter!!

That should bother ALL of us. But for those of us who profess to be believers, it should really prick our spirit because the scriptures tell us:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

**If our life isn’t intentionally set up to offer us a time to rest & be refreshed, something is wrong.

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands…” 2 Thessalonians 3:11

**If our life is in turmoil or filled with the “need” to know other people’s business? Something is wrong.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7

**If we have a “diet” of gossip and fear mongering that zaps our limited energy and time and leaves little time for family and true friendships? Something is wrong!

**If we have a stronger attachment to our cell phones than the people in our life? (or even if the important people in our life just think they take second place??!) Something is seriously, dreadfully, terrifyingly WRONG!

It’s time for many of us to do a “SELF CHECK UP”: If the things that fill up our life are leaving us “too busy” for meaningful relationships?? Or if the things that fill our time are stealing our peace? It’s time to do some serious scaling back! We must be purposeful about giving our highest quality time and energy to those who mean the most to us! Otherwise— it JUST.DOESN’T.HAPPEN!!! 🙁

2. We are a generation of WOUNDED people, more interested in our current pain than our future healing.

We have allowed previous disappointments to scar us and sear our natural, God-given desire for deep connection. Yes– people will disappoint us. Sometimes they will lie, bare false witness, gossip, break their promises and let us down. Occasionally, they will even break our hearts and leave us writhing in pain as we attempt to glue the broken pieces of our life back together! That’s just part of dealing with fallen, broken humanity.

And yet… we don’t have to let these situations destroy us or severe our ability to make new connections! Scripture prods us with these words:

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you” Eph 4:31-32

**ALL bitterness. ALL anger. That doesn’t mean just the small stuff! Is it a tough thing to do? Absolutely! But our Heavenly Father wouldn’t tell us to do it if it was an impossibility!

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14

**It’s not always possible to live in peace with others. But we must make sure WE have personally made every endeavor to try. That means constantly keeping our nasty humanity in check!

“Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.” Colossians 3:13

**Ugh. Forgiveness. Yep! Forgiveness. When forgiving someone doesn’t feel possible in the heat of the moment, we must try to remember that Yahweh Almighty has offered us forgiveness for OUR sins. This reality can help us humble ourselves and offer that forgiveness to others as well.

3. We humans are innately selfish, and the world we now live in encourages this under the guise of “Self-Love”.

In reality, the roots of “self-love” are selfishness and self-idolatry! (Yikes!) Now before you jump to conclusions–I am not advocating anyone stay in abusive relationships (of any kind). But I DO believe scripture admonishes us to strive hard to work through our relational challenges!!

We should NOT feel comfortable walking away from the people in our life solely because fighting for the relationship is “draining”. We need to remember that the time will come when WE will be the “draining” one, and extend the same amount of mercy and compassion we will hope to find during OUR difficult seasons!

We should strive to be selfless, love deeply and be willing to go the extra mile for others.
Those are hard things to give sometimes!! But the Word of God supports this:

“Do nothing out of selfishness or vain conceit. Rather, in humility regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing” James 3:16
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:12-13

**Is this difficult counsel?? Yes, indeed!! But we have this piece of encouragement from our Loving Heavenly Father:

“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” Galatians 6:9

**The Word of God even offers this encouraging promise:

“A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25

**As someone who strives hard to encourage others myself, I can assure you that He has been very, very generous in the “refreshing” He has brought to me over the years; NOT because of who I am, but because of who HE is! 🙂

Obviously taking these scriptures to heart doesn’t promise us that every “good deed” and sincere extension of friendship will produce the fruit we are hoping for. It does not mean we will never experience disappointment in our relationships. Nor does it mean we won’t ache over the losses in our life when they come.

It simply means that our wise and loving Creator anticipated our short comings and left us wise counsel on how to become an over-comer, capable of forging meaningful and impactful relationships!!

So how do we break the cycle?

It starts by being PRAYERFUL and PURPOSEFUL.

*We should be praying for God to bring the RIGHT people into our life! (And willing to let Him prune the ones He doesn’t want in our life to make room for the right ones!)

*We should strive to become the friend we ourselves would like to have! CALL people. Check in on people. Stop being “too busy” to connect with them! We should be going out of our way to let them know they are special to us and worth our time!

*We should rid our mouths of negativity, deceit, gossip, slander, jealousy, anger and be determined to replace those toxic emotions with the ones that cultivate good, biblical fruit. Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that is: “love, joy, peace, forgiveness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Now who wouldn’t want to be around a friend like that??! 🙂

*We should be quicker to extend mercy. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Ask for clarification when we are hurt instead of being quick to jump to conclusions. We should be willing to forgive, remembering that we often fall short and need forgiveness ourselves. And last but never least—– we each just need to be genuine and selfless in our love for one another, trusting our Heavenly Father to bless our efforts with meaningful connections.

Until Next Time,

 

 

 

You Are There

Posted on by mrsmonarch

YOU ARE THERE –a poem to my Creator

You are there…
When fear grows near…
and courage is lost…
When hope dangles on puppet strings just out of reach…
When determination fails us…
and our knees buckle under the weight of this world…
YOU are there.

When weariness and dread flood our soul…
And our own mind becomes our most deadly enemy…
When our allies fail us…
But our battle still rages…
YOU are there.

When the ache in our bones cripples us…
When the enemy’s plans over take us…
When all reason and honor forsake us…
YOU are there.

When skies turn black and the thunder roars…
When the elements pound us and there seems no where to hide…
When our heart aches with anguish that our tongue can not speak…
YOU are there.

When betrayal comes from those within…
And we are bombarded with the cost of our sins…
When the enemy taunts us and proclaims he has won…
YOU are there.

When all we have done feels for naught…
And our eyes grow dim with dispair…
When loss seems more familiar than gain…
YOU are there.

I’ve been asked to explain how I KNOW this is true…
And all I can say is… because I KNOW you!
I see you in the sunlight, as the first rays touch the sky.
I hear you at the seashore when the seagulls cry…
I feel you as a cool breeze rustling through the trees…
But I sense you the MOST when I’m down on my knees!

My Creator. My Provider. My Redeemer! My KING!
YOU are there!

Tho the cost of following you is far beyond what I first presumed…
And I am staggered by the reality that I still have more to pay…
Tho my body aches and my soul grows weary…
Tho my faith is far weaker than I ever supposed…
And my circle grows smaller each day…
I have the assurance that you are holding my hand…
That your love is faithful…
And my future, you command.

I awaken and once again drag myself out of bed…
I struggle to find purpose, but often find dread.
There are times I have questioned why you have left me here…
Among the dead and dying, who have no reverence or fear…
But that’s when I realize you are always quite near.
My Creator. My Provider. My Redeemer. My King!
YOU are there!

When the dreams become nightmares…
When the nights are long and morning tarries…
You send a friend when I’m lonely.
You send direction when I’m lost.
YOU are there!

You provide comfort when I am raw and battle weary.
When my mouth is parched and my soul is dust…
And even when I can not see past the bitterness of today…
YOU… My Creator. My Provider. My Redeemer. My King!
YOU ARE THERE!

 

***This poem is deeply personal; taken from my own trials and experiences. I share it with you in hopes that it encourages you to know you are not alone in your struggles. Our Creator is there — standing near; waiting for you to hold out your hand and invite Him to walk along side you. His creation stands as His witness and MY life stands as a testimony.

Until Next Time,

 

 

The Game of Life

Posted on by mrsmonarch

This week, I was going through the boxes we’ve had in storage. Fumbling through the piles of bubble wrap, I eventually rediscovered a child’s kaleidoscope that I had packed away some years ago.

I held it up to the light and turned its lens first to the left, and then to the right. Every “click” and turn of its lens made a hundred brightly colored fragments fall and recreate themselves into vastly different shapes, each uniquely beautiful—though completely …. totally… different from the one before. There seemed to be no end to the ways the pieces could fall, and the anticipation of what the next click would offer kept me entertained for an embarrassingly long time. (smile)

As y’all know, my mind processes things in an endless array of analogies. (haha) And this experience was no different. As I clicked and turned that kaleidoscope, I couldn’t help but ponder how closely its changing slides correspond to the ever changing seasons of our life. Just like turning the lens of that kaleidoscope created an entirely different scene, each new season of our life brings changes that make it almost unrecognizable from what we had become accustomed.

I’ve come to realize that how we perceive life as a whole depends a LOT on the season of life we are in. For example: A healthy young woman in her early thirties seldom spends much time contemplating the impact her life has had on the world at large; but forty years later, she will likely spend a considerable amount of time pondering it. It’s just the reality of the Game of Life.

Spend a few moments here with me, and let’s explore life from two radically different seasons. We are going to take a bird’s eye view of two neighbors … and hopefully, broaden our perspectives.

Julie, a mother of three young children, spends her days struggling to just keep her kiddos safe and fed. She referees petty arguments between siblings and tries to keep the dirty laundry pile from growing to the height of Mount Everest. During this season, she is busy—sleep deprived and exhausted. Her days melt into weeks; and the weeks melt into months.

It takes every thing she can muster to simply keep her household afloat. Her vantage point is limited. From her perspective, life is an endless sea of needs and servitude. In fact, she can seldom envision her existence beyond this moment. It feels like her life will forever remain in a cycle of sticky, noisy chaos. There is very little “left over” energy to spend fretting over what her life will look like once these little ones go off to college.

Her morning comes too quickly. The alarm clock didn’t go off and now…. she’s running late. The children are grumpy and dragging their feet. Her middle child has lost a shoe. Again. She groans and asks herself how it’s even possible for a child to loose one single shoe from each of the pairs he owns??! She sighs. Flip flops will have to do this morning. That’s the only matching shoes she can find for him that fit.

She grabs the diaper bag and throws it over her shoulder. It gets tangled in her purse strap that’s already there, but she’s too hurried to care. With her youngest propped against her hip, she fumbles to find the car keys without dumping the contents of her purse. As she’s dragging her tired children down the sidewalk to the car, her eyes catch a glimpse of Margaret, the elderly lady who lives across the street. She doesn’t intend to covet… but Geeze, what she wouldn’t give to have beautiful flowers out front of her house like “Miss Margaret’s”!

Margaret smiles & waves. They exchange “Good Morning” pleasantries. Julie hurriedly waves, clicks the buckle on the last car seat and attempts to slide the van door closed. Just as she’s slamming it, the long lost shoe she spent the morning hunting for, tumbles out of the van and onto the driveway. Exasperated, she bends down, picks it up and tosses it into the abyss others call a back seat. The van door can finally be shut. One should never underestimate the feeling of accomplishment that comes from success. 😉

She positions herself behind the steering wheel and reaches up to adjust the rear-view mirror. Whew! She has 10 minuntes to get the kids to school. If there’s no traffic, there’s hope that she won’t be late this time.
The air inside the van reeks of a long forgotten dirty diaper and last week’s stale french fries left behind after soccer practice. Now confined to their carseats, the children begin their typical tirade of “You’re on my side!” and “Don’t touch me!” but some where along the line, Julie has become numb to it all. Her actions are robotic. Stop here. Turn there. It’s the same route she’s taken a hundred times before. The monotony allows her mind time to wander.

Is she a “good” mom? She certainly tries to be! But, Dang!! She’s always Sooo tired! Will the kids remember all the little (and not so little) things she did for them? Or… will their memories be filled with the times she failed instead? Is she doing enough to prepare them for the life they will have when they leave home? Her mind recalls the resentment she still holds for her own mother over grievances they had when she was a teenager. She felt a shudder go up her spine. Surely she can do better than THAT!

Without warning, the shoe she had cast into the abyss comes flying through the air and slams into the rear view mirror, knocking it off kilter once again. “MOMMY!!!! He……” The shrill tone of her daughter’s voice snapped her back to her present reality. “Why??! Why do you guys always act like this???!”, she quipped. She took a deep breath and reached up to re-adjust the mirror. This is her life. Of course she loves loves it….
After all, that’s how “good” moms are supposed feel. ….. Right???

*** *** *** ***
Margaret, a retired widow in her mid 70s, rises early and wanders out into her front yard. It’s so much easier to weed her flower beds in the early morning before the heat and humidity get intense. She stands near the street and turns to assess the front yard as a whole. Yep. The fertilizer she used last month has certainly paid off. Her flowers are in full bloom now and there’s no denying she has the prettiest yard on the street! In fact, seldom a day goes by when neighbors, walking up and down the road in the cool of the late afternoon, don’t stop to admire her hard work. She welcomes the interaction, even if it’s often too short and impersonal for her taste.

Some days she wonders if she truly does all of this work because she enjoys gardening… or… if she does it to get the neighbors to stop and chat for a brief while. After all, the occasional chatty neighbor is the only thing she can count on to break the monotonous silence that plagues the majority of hours in her day. With her own children grown and gone, she finds herself passing the hours, sitting in her porch swing, watching life as it happens, up and down her busy tree-lined, suburban street.

One of her favorite neighbors is a young mom named “Julie” who lives directly across the street. Margaret estimates that Julie is in her early 30s— with 3 kiddos age seven and under. They are absolutely delightful children; always quick to wave and so polite! Watching their antics is better than any comedy show on TV these days. There’s always activity. Always noise. Always mess. And always laughter. “There’s never a dull moment at their house!”, Margaret tells herself. “I’m sure Julie realizes that these are the best days of her life!”

She smiles and waves at the young mom, as she watches Julie struggle to corral her children and get them into the van. It’s only 8am. and the van is a mere 50 feet from the front door— but the poor mom looks like she’s already competed in a major triathlon event—and come in last! As the van door slides open, a shoe falls out. The gregarious Miss Margaret giggles under her breath as she watches the young mom toss it to the back of the van and slam the door closed. She smiles and waves again as Julie hurriedly backs out of the driveway and speeds away.

Margaret lets out a little half-hearted laugh and shakes her head in amazement, as she comes to terms with how quickly those years passed for her. She’d give almost anything to go back in time and trade her perfectly clean, quiet, lifeless house and yard full of glorious flowers for the chaos of giggling children and their endless messes.

She longs to hear from her grown children, but they are busy fighting the dragons of their own personal seasons and seldom have the time or energy to call. Her most valuable asset is her stash of memories, and she spends her abundance of quiet time pouring over them in vivid detail. Through out the years that her children had lived at home, she had often longed for quiet time. Now, the ticking of a wall clock in the kitchen is the only thing that breaks the deafening silence. She’s shocked by how loud it seemed.

Suddenly, the smile on her face fades, and a battle begins. Once again, she must fight the endless battery of questions she asks herself. Was she a ‘good’ mother? She didn’t doubt that she TRIED really hard. But if she had been “successful”, would her grown children be where they are today? Struggling in the ways they are struggling?? Her thoughts are filled with the poisonous darts of doubt. “What ifs” fill her mother’s heart. Concern and discouragement fill her weary spirit. She looks out her window and sees another young neighbor, playing in the yard with her children and finds herself resenting how quickly the moments of her life were spent.

Two very different women—- walking through very different seasons of their life. From each other’s vantage point, the other’s life seems so much more….. fulfilling. The one thing they share in common?? They are each glorifying the season the other is in—with OUT a broad enough view to see the entire picture.

Yes indeed— our individual time line, and where we stand on this board game of life, has a huge impact on how we perceive things! Like the kaleidoscope I still hold in my hand, the click of each passing season brings scenes and scenarios we can not predict. We can anticipate the inevitable changes with joy … or dread. But things will change regardless!

I guess the main purpose of this post is to help us all remember that each season is chocked full of experiences; both pleasant and bittersweet. Every stage of life has its own trials and joys, and it’s up to each of us to choose which we’re going to focus on. There is no inherently “perfect” season we should fear leaving and no season we should approach with dread. Where ever we’re “at” on the game board of life— someone– somewhere— is watching our life through eyes of longing and appreciation. It’d be ideal if we could look at our life that way, too, for tomorrow—- the scene will be different and today’s view will be gone forever.

In the original board game, only one person can “win” at the game of Life. But in reality, any one who can reach a state of genuine contentment for the season they are in can be a true “winner”!

Until Next Time,

 

 

 

 

Angels Unaware: Ministering to the Down-trodden

Posted on by mrsmonarch

It was one of those places I always dread going; a large, dirty city– filled with noise, smog and “busy” people scurrying in and out of traffic. It is also the kind of place racial tension hasn’t improved much over the past 50 years; a place where you can feel the intense animosity of its racially charged population just as easily as you can sense the summer heatwaves bouncing off the blacktop roads. It’s a place I avoid like the plague.

But, when one chooses to have a “country life”, one eventually finds a need to travel to the “big city”. Even though it’s more than an hour away, it’s the closest town with a quality hospital. Top rated specialists. Good restaurants. Specialty stores that ensure successful shopping experiences. I had put it off as long as I could. Today was the day. There was no avoiding it.

I had my list in hand and headed out— filled with purpose…. and a great deal of dread. What I hadn’t planned on is what God had planned.

I finished the “to do list” quickly, but found myself with at least an hour to kill so I decided to check out a couple of thrift stores nearby. My mind was cluttered and my heart was heavy. I aimlessly wandered through the isles, perhaps subconsciously hoping to find something to distract me from thinking. It wasn’t working…

I left the last store and headed to my car. The gray clouds finally burst open and the rain began to drizzle down, sending steam up from the blistering parking lot. I was almost to my car when my eyes caught sight of a furniture store with an attractive window display a few shops down from where I was.

I’m not in the market for furniture… so I don’t really even know why I felt compelled to go in. But… half way to my car, I changed my direction and headed for the furniture store. By the time I reached the door, the drizzle had become a down pour. Apparently this was not only going to be a no-good errand day… it was going to be a no-good hair day as well! LOL.

Just as I neared the door, it flung wide open. A tall, broad-shouldered, middle aged black man in a dark suit, greeted me with a smile. “Come on in here and get outta this rain!”, he begged. I stepped inside the entrance way, dripping wet and took a moment to compose myself. I felt like a drowned rat and for a moment, I found myself wishing I’d just run to the car instead.

His welcoming tone settled my spirit. Comforted, my eyes were drawn to dozens of make shift “rooms”, each filled with perfectly arranged furniture groups like you see on the pages of a Southern Living magazine. I wandered from display to display, soaking in the sights, as the salesman and I made casual conversation.

Eventually, we found ourselves at the back of the store, where another employee— a woman of Asian descent who appeared a few years younger than me— eagerly joined our conversation. Her presence brought a more personal touch to the discussion. She mentioned her grown children; the moral decline of our society… and both her concerns… AND her hopes for “tomorrow”. But the real game changer occurred when she mentioned her FAITH.

Oh, its introduction was “slick”–but not in a bad way. It wasn’t pompous or preachy. It was matter-of-fact. Simple but refreshing. Genuine. And her level of candor touched me, deep within my soul. I nodded my head in agreement with all she spoke, but my words got caught in my throat. Suddenly—without any warning at all—my aching heart betrayed me, and I found my eyes welling up with tears.

Without skipping a beat, she turned to grab a tissue from a box behind the counter and placed it in my hand with a gentle yet reassuring squeeze. Now understand… I do many things well; but raw, snot-inducing, heaping, sobbing tears ISN’T one of them! I’ve even been known to dig my fingernails into the palms of my hands to regain my composure and prevent tears. Yet some how, THIS was … different. My embarrassment subsided when I realized that she had pulled a second tissue out to catch her OWN tears.

Our raw humanity proved too much for our male counterpart. When I finally felt confident enough to stop looking at the floor, I caught this broad shouldered, well dressed giant of a man wiping the tears from his face. It isn’t often people talk like this; especially in the workplace— amongst strangers!

And yet— here we were. Three strangers— Of different races—from different backgrounds; living in different cities; worshiping the Living God in vastly different ways—- sharing an intimate and deeply moving experience—together— based on the never changing, steadfast and ever faithful Mighty One we serve! We gave our testimonies. We shared personal concerns. We encouraged one another with scripture, and we committed to pray for one another in the days and weeks ahead.

Who would have thought that a rotten, no-good, miserably rainy day– in a city I deplore– would turn out to be one of the single most encouraging afternoons I’ve been blessed with this year?! Not me… but God knew!

But here’s the thing: I didn’t just get filled with encouragement that day. I got humbled a bit, too. Yahweh used the experience to remind me of a truth I’ve long known. HE USES ALL THINGS FOR OUR BENEFIT AND HIS GLORY. Even no-good, miserably rainy days– in noisy, congested cities, where we don’t want to be. He uses people of every race; every creed; every political mind set and every socioeconomic situation. He uses any one—and every one— who allows Him some room to work in their life!

The man who had opened the door for me that day thought he was “just” a furniture salesman. The lady behind the counter went to work that day assuming she was “just” a finance manager. Ah…. Little did they know, that on that particular day, God would use them as “ministering angels”.

Their willingness to allow His love to flow through them brought light and comfort into my day. And when I am filled up, I come here and write— with the hope of filling others up. So, what they gave me– in the way of encouragement– is still going forth, doing good things; even though they may never realize the fullness of the impact they have had. Ponder that as you think about all the “little” ways we can each make a difference in someone’s day!

It can be easy to discredit the impact we have in our bland, every day world. The enemy wants us to believe we are “just” wives; “just” moms. “Just” grandmothers. “Just” teachers. “Just” salesmen or finance managers; People without power or influence. But, let this story be a reminder that He can work ANYWHERE He has a willing servant.

So dear friends, be encouraged! Just re-commit to serving humanity with genuine kindness— where sharing His love is your ONLY agenda. Then, let Him take care of the rest. In doing this, you, too, can be one of His ministering Angels… Unaware.

Until Next Time,

 

The State of Being Replaceable

Posted on by mrsmonarch

I was putting the finishing touches on an article I was writing, when the door swung open and one of my grown kiddos rushed over to the table where I was sitting. She stood there— hovering— anxiously shifting her weight from foot to foot, the way she’d do when she was little and about to burst to tell me something.

I stopped typing and shifted my eyes to hers. Immediately, she announced that an old episode of the TV series “Wife Swap” was airing that evening. It was the only episode that was really ever of any interest to me– and only then because it featured a family from the small Tennessee town we had raised our family.

Their family and ours were part of the same home-school group. Our children grew up playing together. We attended many of the same functions. The couple, my husband and I shared many of the same parenting strategies; as well as many of the same hopes, dreams, concerns, etc.

My husband set the DVR to record it, and later that week, during a rare moment alone, I decided to take a deep breath and travel back to 2006— the year the episode was filmed.

I caught myself smiling as the episode played out. Nodding in agreement with comments that were being made. I even broke out in laughter a time or two. The kids on my TV screen were all … familiar. The house, and the furnishings, were exactly as I remembered them. My friend, and her husband, responded to the challenges of the show exactly as I would have expected them to— even when so many of their core beliefs and life-style choices were under attack. Everything was — consistent. Everything was— exactly as I remembered, as if it had all been… frozen in time.

What makes that significant? Well…. in the 15 years since the show’s original taping, my friend—-the small town, Christian home-school mom, has passed away. Our children have grown up, moved out and started families of their own. My husband and I got tired of the fickle Tennessee weather; packed up, left the comforts of the quiet little town we shared and moved to the “way south”. Life has continued … and nothing… absolutely NOTHING… has stood still and passed the test of time. EVERY thing has changed.

I was scrolling through Facebook a few months back and stumbled upon the post of a mutual friend. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well—if that’s true, this particular post was a novel— social media style.

Our friend’s husband had just gotten re-married. I scrolled through the post. There were big smiles, beautiful dresses and pretty flowers. Some of the children attended. Others did not. I’m not judging him. He had experienced 2-1/2 decades of a loving, mutually satisfying marriage with my friend. Married life suits him, and after her death, he had to be terribly, terribly lonely. It’s reasonable to think he would long to share that type of bond with someone else instead of grieving himself to a premature death.

The woman he married is someone I know; someone who had been active in our small town community and our home-school group. She is a woman of good character; gentle and kind. They will compliment one another well, and comfort each other in this new and challenging season of life. I am happy for them. Truly. But….

Yeah. There’s almost always a “but”, isn’t there?? LOL.

Here’s the thing: My friend is gone. There can be no restoration in this life time. Logically, there is no reason for her husband to spend the rest of his days on this earth navigating the dark and painful waters of life alone. But as a wife and mother myself…?? Well, I have to admit that thought of being “replaced”— of life just… continuing forward… is a bit painful. And yet, just within my own circle of friends, I’ve watched this happen several times.

It isn’t just the fact that life “goes on” —- that men tend to remarry and children grow up— that bothers me.    It’s…. ??? It’s the speed in which it happens; and the reality that time is so harsh on the legacy left behind that is difficult for me!

Shouldn’t the dust be allowed to settle? Shouldn’t the memory of a devoted wife and self-sacrificing mother be immune to the ravages of time?! Can’t anything be placed in a time capsule, treasured and preserved exactly as it was in its glory days??

The harsh answer? My nasty, alter-ego quips: “Only in photo albums; home movies; and 15 year old TV series that are archived and only see the light of day every few years!”

But my spirit knows the truth! The more complete answer is… Our loved ones are preserved in the hearts and minds of everyone they ever touched. The child they rocked for hours while she had a fever? Though the child herself can no longer feel the arms of her mother wrapped around her, or smell her perfume, or even remember those moments with clarity, the memory of the love her mother shared with her is etched deep into her DNA.

The husband who has buried his life partner and “moved on”?? Perhaps it wasn’t as “easy” as social media makes it seem. After all, we all realize that what is put on social media is usually a sanitized, unrealistic, bird’s-eye view of reality. It is rare that someone will post snapshots of their tear stained pillow or agonizing struggle with depression. The world simply doesn’t want to see those things! In addition to that, we have become a society who shares what is pleasant—- comfortable— “light-weight”. We have allowed no place for “heaviness” on Social Media.

The cold hard truth is: Some times, disagreements occur that cause rifts which separate loved ones. Occasionally—messy, painful divorces occur. Children grow up. Houses get sold. Death can unexpectedly burst through our life like a wrecking ball; turn our world upside down and change the course of our life forever!!! We can’t stop that…

Yet, even when those kinds of things happen—eventually— there will be new experiences. New friendships will be made. New relationships forged. Homes that will be purchased. Gardens that will be sown and harvested. Little children will leave our homes and make families of their own. Some times, we will get to be a part of those experiences… some times, not. But life… as a cycle… will continue. The sun will rise and set, whether we would prefer it to or not!

But that doesn’t change the fact that NONE of us is truly “replaceable”. We are each the uniquely made children of our Supreme Creator. We each have a purpose… and an impact … on all the lives we touch while we are here. And… our impact often goes forward and continues to touch others long after we are gone. (Grief is proof of that!!)

So, my friend—if today finds you struggling with the heaviness of loss, I want to gently remind you that life is for the LIVING. Those of us who have been “left behind” have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

What that looks like will be different for each of us. For one mother of a child killed by a drunk driver, it was the establishment of M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers). For John Walsh, the father of Adam Walsh, the little boy who was kidnapped and murdered in the 1980s, it was a TV series called “America’s Most Wanted”, where he could put his passion to good use locating criminals and putting them behind bars.

Some aching hearts create foundations that offer help to those experiencing situations similar to their own. Others throw themselves into community service. Many of the rest simply hold their memories close to their heart and walk down the isle— into the hope of finding happiness again.

As I sit here pondering it all, I finally realize that it usually isn’t “replacement” that we are striving for. (The wise realize that isn’t possible anyway.) We simply want to feel alive in the way we did before our loss. And some times, moving forward—while holding fast to all the love we have ever known— is the best way to do that.

Until Next Time,